Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Rude MIL

We've been married a month. Last weekend, my husband, mother in law and I drive to my sister in laws house 3 hours away. We stopped when we got into town to meet my sister in law and her two kids for dinner. My mother in law, for an unknown reason, introduced everyone at the table to the waitress except me. She said this is my son, my daughter, my grand daughter, and my grandson, like she was so proud to have them. She completely ignored the fact that I was there. Not even "this is my son and his wife." I think it was very rude and inconsiderate. My husband keeps making excuses for her, saying she didn't mean it. I thought surely our wedding would still be fresh in her mind and there's no way she could have "forgotten" to mention me. It sounds petty, and it was considering she shouldn't have been introducing anybody anyways, but it really hurt my feelings. Am I right to be hurt?

Re: Rude MIL

  • Yes, that was very rude of her. And of your husband for expecting you to put up with that shit while he makes excuses for it rather than insisting that you be treated with respect.
  • Rude and tacky.  I would not tolerate that.  Next time have her drive the 3 hours alone and you visit another day.  Set boundaries now because it will be a lifetime of torture.  
  • We've been married a month. Last weekend, my husband, mother in law and I drive to my sister in laws house 3 hours away. We stopped when we got into town to meet my sister in law and her two kids for dinner. My mother in law, for an unknown reason, introduced everyone at the table to the waitress except me. She said this is my son, my daughter, my grand daughter, and my grandson, like she was so proud to have them. She completely ignored the fact that I was there. Not even "this is my son and his wife." I think it was very rude and inconsiderate. My husband keeps making excuses for her, saying she didn't mean it. I thought surely our wedding would still be fresh in her mind and there's no way she could have "forgotten" to mention me. It sounds petty, and it was considering she shouldn't have been introducing anybody anyways, but it really hurt my feelings. Am I right to be hurt?

    First I think its really weird to introduce everyone to a waitress. Second, yay it was probably rude. But I think you are taking it a little far. She forgot to introduce you. Let it go. I can see being miffed for about 3-5 seconds. But still being mad days later, really?

    It sounds like you have a husband problem, not a MIL problem. If he didnt stand up for you before you were married, what makes you think anything is going to change now?

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • KatWAG said:

    First I think its really weird to introduce everyone to a waitress. Second, yay it was probably rude. But I think you are taking it a little far. She forgot to introduce you. Let it go. I can see being miffed for about 3-5 seconds. But still being mad days later, really?

    It sounds like you have a husband problem, not a MIL problem. If he didnt stand up for you before you were married, what makes you think anything is going to change now?

    Ditto to the bolded. Yes, it was rude. But how long are you going to be angry about it. Have a glass of wine and let it go. 
  • Rude yes. But I would be more annoyed with my husband than my MIL. It's his job to correct his mother, if he doesn't think he should, that's where your problem lies. She's not going to respect you until he tells her he's not going to allow her to disrespect his wife.

    I had a similar issue with my FMIL. She introduced me as FI's FRIEND. (She even does this with FSIL's baby daddy -- they have TWO kids and live together.) It wasn't until he corrected her "This is my fiance..." that she started calling me by an appropriate title. I wouldn't care even if she called me by my first name, but alas, all was resolved when FI stepped in and corrected her. 

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  • It's rude and bitchy and I'd be annoyed but just let it go. Maybe your husband should have jumped in and added after your MIL introduced everyone, "oh and this is my wife."

    I do think it's weird that the family was introduced to the waitress.
  • Weird she introduced everyone to the waitress. And I get being upset but if its not something thats happened repeatedly I'd let it go. Also your husband could have spoke up too.

     

  • Your husband needs to correct his mother and stand up for you. Love always protects. You're his #1 lady; he and everyone else should treat you with respect.  I'm thinking that there may be some underlying issues here...maybe you & his mother had issues before you married. This will not be good in the future...how will she act if you & your husband have children. Get issues resolved while it's early.
  • I'm still picturing this woman introducing the table to the waitress. Such a weird gesture to me.
  • Did they know the waitress? 

    This is just really weird to me.


    And yeah, Ida been a little miffed I was left out - but are you mad because stuff like this has been a constant issue?
  • If this is what you are mad about, life is good.

    She will do lots worse than this, after you marry her son.


  • Yeah, it was rude, but in the grand scheme I'd let it go. Next time, DH needs to stick up for you and correct you. 
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