Tricky situation... What to do?

Re: Tricky situation... What to do?

• jm465 member

  

  November 2014

  Sorry, my paragraphs won't save!

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• KatWAG member

  

  November 2014

  jm465 said:

  So FI and I are in a bit of a tricky situation and aren't sure what to do... A close friend of mine has been on and off dating the same person for around a year now. We have met him a few times and we invited him to our engagement party as well. Well at the engagement party her date was unappropriately drunk and his actions (making passes at my step-mom, older sister, a close family friend.. overheard making not appropriate comments about FI's sister, and took a tumble). All of this ended with my sister asking him to leave which finally was enforced by my BIL (and thankfully was handled away from the rest of the party guests). We were told after the e-party that her date is an alcoholic and is now attending meetings, has a sponsor, etc. The couple have since broken up and gotten back together twice and we have not seen, or heard from Him since the e-party (summer). So our question now is... We are currently addressing our save the dates and don't know how to address hers? I didn't have her STD or invite pre-addressed as I wasn't sure what to put, I figured for the invite I have some time before sending it out so would wait it out. That being said, do I address the STD with just her name, her name and guest? Are we obligated to invite her on and off SO to the wedding with all that has happened? We feel uneasy about the situation as on one hand I don't want to ruin a friendship, but on the other hand we are responsible for our guests in the venue and I don't want any drama on the big day. Sorry for such a long winded post! TIA

  I would address the STD to just her. Although when it comes time to mail out invites, if they are still dating (regardless of how many times they have broken up) he needs to be invited. And his name should be on the invite, not "and guest."
  

  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  November 2014

  KatWAG said:

  jm465 said:

  So FI and I are in a bit of a tricky situation and aren't sure what to do... A close friend of mine has been on and off dating the same person for around a year now. We have met him a few times and we invited him to our engagement party as well. Well at the engagement party her date was unappropriately drunk and his actions (making passes at my step-mom, older sister, a close family friend.. overheard making not appropriate comments about FI's sister, and took a tumble). All of this ended with my sister asking him to leave which finally was enforced by my BIL (and thankfully was handled away from the rest of the party guests). We were told after the e-party that her date is an alcoholic and is now attending meetings, has a sponsor, etc. The couple have since broken up and gotten back together twice and we have not seen, or heard from Him since the e-party (summer). So our question now is... We are currently addressing our save the dates and don't know how to address hers? I didn't have her STD or invite pre-addressed as I wasn't sure what to put, I figured for the invite I have some time before sending it out so would wait it out. That being said, do I address the STD with just her name, her name and guest? Are we obligated to invite her on and off SO to the wedding with all that has happened? We feel uneasy about the situation as on one hand I don't want to ruin a friendship, but on the other hand we are responsible for our guests in the venue and I don't want any drama on the big day. Sorry for such a long winded post! TIA

  I would address the STD to just her. Although when it comes time to mail out invites, if they are still dating (regardless of how many times they have broken up) he needs to be invited. And his name should be on the invite, not "and guest."
  

  This.
  
  If other people handled this ass at your e-party, then other people will surely handle him at your wedding.  I'm not saying that he should be the responsibility of other guests. . . I'm just saying that should he become a problem, chances are family and friends will step up to make sure you don't have to deal with it at your reception.
  
  There was some minor, alcohol inspired drama at my wedding reception and it was handled by the Best Man, my dear friends, and my cousin.
  
  Also, that's what DOC's and security are for as well.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• lovegood90 member

  

  November 2014

  Once it comes time to mail out invites, if she says they are in a relationship then he needs to be invited by name on the invite. Unless he physically threatened one of your wedding guests which it doesn't sound like he has.

  Making a pass and making inappropriate comments to people are obviously not okay, but if it was just harmless drunken obnoxiousness then I think he still needs to be invited. However annoying that is, it's disrespectful to ask your friend to celebrate your relationship while excluding the person she's in a relationship with.

  
  

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• novella1186 member

  

  November 2014

  PrettyGirlLost. There's got to be a site manager, a DOC, and/or security around on your wedding day. Give them a heads up before that day (if your friend is still dating this guy) that he'll most likely be at the reception and could cause some serious trouble. Do not take it upon yourself to keep an eye on him. He's not your problem. I'm sorry you had to deal with his mess at your eparty! 

  

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• jm465 member

  

  November 2014

  Thanks so much everyone!! So we'll wait and see their status for the invites... Since we've got aways to go before getting those out. I'm thinking I may just personally deliver her STD to avoid addressing anyone's name on it just yet .

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