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Attire & Accessories Forum

Bridesmaid dress can't come in on time for the wedding. 1 bridesmaid in different dress. Am I crazy?

This is more of a vent post and to see if anyone else has had this happen or know of it happening.

I e-mailed all of my bridesmaids in early July the dress I had picked out. See 1st and 2nd photo. (2nd is the actual color - cornflower)

I told them this particular color with this dress is a special cut and will take extra time to come in and asked that they have it ordered by September 6 to make sure it comes in and they have time for alterations.

I have a matron and maid of honor, and 3 bridesmaids. They were all going to wear the same dress.

Fast forward to October 25. One of my bridesmaids  asked that I go with her to order her dress. Sure, no problem. We get there and get her measured and go to order it. Even with expediting it, it is not set to come in until 5 days before my wedding. Okay, no big deal...they usually come in a little early right? Well, I ask the sales lady who all had already ordered to make sure everyone else had. (I honestly thought this girl was the last one.) Turns out, there is another bridesmaid who had not ordered her dress yet. So I let her know the issue and try to not be mean when I offer to pay for her dress and she can pay me back later. She politely declines and I and take a deep breath.

Well, last weekend, November 8, I get a frantic phone call from this last bridesmaid saying that the dress cannot come in on time for the wedding, even with rush shipping and such. I had been expecting this, but had been hoping for the best. Anyways, I'll cut to the chase. I just happened to be on my way to the store when she called and my fiance and I had to pick out an entirely new dress for her to wear. (remember, she is not a maid or matron of honor.) We were very limited on the selection since the color does not come in a lot of the dresses. We chose the 3rd photo below. (Shown in the cornflower as well). I am not going to tell her she cannot be in the wedding and in all honesty, I may be upset but I know in the end, on the day of all that really matters is that I am getting to marry the man of my dreams and best friend.

Has this situation ever happened to anyone else? Has anyone seen this happen in another wedding?

To answer a few questions I can foresee: No, I could not have her wear a dress that the maid or matron of honor had already ordered and have the MOH wear the new dress, (the sizes are way off). And no, I was not going to ask everyone to buy a new dress or change my color or buy all new dresses myself because I can't afford that.

They will be wearing pashmina shawls for the ceremony, so maybe that'll help? It's a winter wedding. (They weren't going to originally, but now I think they have to.) The girl was VERY VERY apologetic and even offered to step out, but I was not going to let that happen.

Am I crazy?

Re: Bridesmaid dress can't come in on time for the wedding. 1 bridesmaid in different dress. Am I crazy?

  • This is more of a vent post and to see if anyone else has had this happen or know of it happening.

    I e-mailed all of my bridesmaids in early July the dress I had picked out. See 1st and 2nd photo. (2nd is the actual color - cornflower)

    I told them this particular color with this dress is a special cut and will take extra time to come in and asked that they have it ordered by September 6 to make sure it comes in and they have time for alterations.

    I have a matron and maid of honor, and 3 bridesmaids. They were all going to wear the same dress.

    Fast forward to October 25. One of my bridesmaids  asked that I go with her to order her dress. Sure, no problem. We get there and get her measured and go to order it. Even with expediting it, it is not set to come in until 5 days before my wedding. Okay, no big deal...they usually come in a little early right? Well, I ask the sales lady who all had already ordered to make sure everyone else had. (I honestly thought this girl was the last one.) Turns out, there is another bridesmaid who had not ordered her dress yet. So I let her know the issue and try to not be mean when I offer to pay for her dress and she can pay me back later. She politely declines and I and take a deep breath.

    Well, last weekend, November 8, I get a frantic phone call from this last bridesmaid saying that the dress cannot come in on time for the wedding, even with rush shipping and such. I had been expecting this, but had been hoping for the best. Anyways, I'll cut to the chase. I just happened to be on my way to the store when she called and my fiance and I had to pick out an entirely new dress for her to wear. (remember, she is not a maid or matron of honor.) We were very limited on the selection since the color does not come in a lot of the dresses. We chose the 3rd photo below. (Shown in the cornflower as well). I am not going to tell her she cannot be in the wedding and in all honesty, I may be upset but I know in the end, on the day of all that really matters is that I am getting to marry the man of my dreams and best friend.

    Has this situation ever happened to anyone else? Has anyone seen this happen in another wedding?

    To answer a few questions I can foresee: No, I could not have her wear a dress that the maid or matron of honor had already ordered and have the MOH wear the new dress, (the sizes are way off). And no, I was not going to ask everyone to buy a new dress or change my color or buy all new dresses myself because I can't afford that.

    They will be wearing pashmina shawls for the ceremony, so maybe that'll help? It's a winter wedding. (They weren't going to originally, but now I think they have to.) The girl was VERY VERY apologetic and even offered to step out, but I was not going to let that happen.

    Am I crazy?
    Nope, I don't think anyone here would have suggested the bolded options. It's perfectly fine for her to wear a different dress. Your bridesmaids don't have to match each other, and it's fine if all of them match besides one. They don't need to try to hide under pashminas. Nobody will notice or care, and if they do - so what? Life goes on.

    Can I ask if you privately got budgets and style/shape requirements from these girls ahead of time, and then chose something that fit everyone's criteria, or did you just make your decision in a bubble? If it was the latter, I'm surprised you didn't have more issues. 

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  • I don't blame you for being a little upset with this. I think your reaction was reasonable. And you handled it well -- simply picking a different dress for her in the same color and not kicking her out. Yes, it's an annoying problem, but it seems to be fixed now. You're right, it won't matter at all on your actual wedding day. And I agree with lolo, no one will notice or care. 

    So in answer to your question, no, you're not crazy. In my opinion, you did good. Crisis averted. 
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  • That makes me feel better. Thank you.

    And I did take into consideration budgets and body styles. I would have loved for them to wear another dress, but it was like $100 more and I sure as heck was not going to ask them to buy that dress. Also, I have a wide range of body styles so I actually had 2 different girls try on the dress before selecting it for them.
  • I think it's fine to have one girl in a different dress.  I don't think it will matter or look strange. 

    I do think it's odd that your friend waited, knowing that this might/would happen.  Is she typically a wait until the last minute kind of person?  I don't know your friend, so I could totally be off base, but are you sure she isn't looking for a reason that she can't be in the wedding?  Otherwise, why wouldn't you just buy the dress in time?
  • It's really no big deal. After all, the color and length are the same. Nobody will notice.
  • No,you are not crazy at all!Nowadays a mixed matched BM dresses are very popular,so it will not be a strange thing to have one bridemaid to wear a diiferent dress!
  • It will look just fine and you did good.
  • sounds like you handled it in a classy way. i don't think it's that big of a deal since the length and color are the same, and pashmina's will help. when i saw the title of this thread i was expecting a totally different looking dress! same color, same material . . . not a big deal.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • You did good! 

     

    Nice dress choice - that's the one my bridesmaids will be wearing as well.  :)

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