Pre-wedding Parties

FI's bachelor party

emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
mod
So here's a quick back story:

FI has 7 GMs and his dad is the BM. They are going to a cabin in the mountains for a weekend for his bachelor party as group. Nothing has been set in stone, they are working on the details.

My older brother is playing the music for the ceremony, my little brother is and usher, and FI's BIL is an usher. Now, FI does not like his sister's husband. They just don't mesh well and BIL is very immature and really annoys FI. FSIL and FBIL got married in October. FI and I were both in the wedding. I think BIL expected to be in ours as well but instead of being a GM he is an usher.

Well, last night FMIL told FI that he HAD to invite BIL because he is family. FI was planning on inviting only GMs. If he invites BIL, he feels like he should invite my brothers as well (I told him that was unnecessary and they wouldn't care). FMIL said that FSIL told her that BIL's feelings were hurt he hadn't been invited or heard anything yet. Well first of all, no one other than the GMs have heard anything because that's all FI was planning to invite. Secondly, FI has a hand full of other friends he wanted to invite but a cabin is only so big. Thirdly, why would anyone assume they are invited? FI is so mad that he is being forced to do this.

I told him to not make waves and to just invite him when they have concrete plans and not to worry about inviting my brothers. He said he'd rather invite my brothers (sorrynotsorry my brothers are awesome) but they'll live and honestly won't care or expect to be included. I asked him how he would feel if his sister felt the way FI feels about her H about me (if that makes sense)? 

I mean, are we wrong in thinking he shouldn't have to invite BIL just because he is a 32 year old who got his feelings hurt? He is going to invite him because he loves his sister and doesn't want to cause any tension but I can tell he is very mad about this.

Re: FI's bachelor party

  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
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    I'd stand your ground on this. You're allowed to invite whoever you want, it's not like you're excluding him from the wedding. Don't let people guilt you into things! Because if you show you'll give in, when will it stop?

    Formerly martha1818

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    emmaaabeetherychibiyui
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
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    scribe95 said:

    Yeah, but aren't members of the wedding party pretty much expected to be invited to showers and bachelor parties? He is an usher. 

    oh woops, I guess ushers are part of the wedding party!

    Formerly martha1818

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    emmaaa
  • Yea... Normally I'd say invite who you want but the dude in IN the wedding party, albeit an usher.

    What if they stay in one of those mountain hotels and get a room block? That way your FI doesn't have to actually STAY with the annoying BIL, which should give him enough of a break each day.
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    chibiyui
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    If he is an usher, I definitely think he should be invited.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    emmaaa
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    mod
    Y'all are right. I/we was obviously being unreasonable. Thank you very much!

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