Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

5 unclaimed gifts-update in post!

birdybride2014birdybride2014 member
First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited November 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So we have a handful of gifts that we cannot figure out who gave them. We set gifts without any names on them to the side, as well as cards without anything in them to the side- to see if we could match up who gave what in the end. 

Well, we matched up most of them BUT I received an empty card from my boss. I'm nervous about not sending a thank you IF she did give us one of these items, but I also don't want to send a thank you if she didn't. THIS IS MY BIGGGGG BOSS. She's the Director of our center and our Primary Investigator for our research, and will be writing a reference for me when I apply for my masters this January....

am I allowed to write her a vague thank you for coming card? or should I just leave it alone? I have no way of knowing any of this lol 

ETA: i know that writing a thank you for coming card makes it seem as though I am assuming they should have gotten us something...but...but...i hate this lol 



ETA: SO I decided to be awkward and was chatting with my supervisor. I said, "Hey! By the way! This is so awkward but we ended up having extra gifts that don't have any names on them! I was wondering if you happened to see Dr. so and so bring a gift? I'd hate to not thank her for something she brought."

she said no. So we're in the clear. Boss brought a well-wishes card with nothin in it. Now I still feel weird about not giving her a thank you, but I know I shouldn't. Thanks everyone :) 
image

Report Reply to Post

Re: 5 unclaimed gifts-update in post!

  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    I don't understand how this happened five times. I would make it vague. Use phrases like 'well wishes' and 'love sentiment.' I think vague is better than thinking you weren't actually thanked. 

    ETA: words before coffee
    Report Reply
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Not to confuse you more. But we received a couple gifts that had cards with money in them too. So we got cash and a gift from a couple people.

    This might be a bad idea,and someone please correct if I'm out of line. Why don't you pick one of the gifts that you don't know who gave it, and write her a thank you note for that gift. Then if she brings it up, you can apologize and explain the situation. 

    Also, are you friends with your boss, or did you invite her as a courtesy?
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • birdybride2014birdybride2014 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @huskypuppy14 very much a courtesy invite. I invited both my supervisor and the big lady. I'm closer with my supervisor, as she is younger and less intimidating, and it has crossed my mind to ask her if she saw big lady arrive with a gift or not. 

    And we did have some people give cards+money, and a box gift, but if we incorrectly matched up gifts at least we will be thanking people for some of a gift, if not all of the gift. Error on the side of a little thank you vs. full thank you. If that makes sense haha. 
    image

    Report Reply
  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Be vague, but only if you've exhausted your options for finding who the gift came from.  If these are registry items, see there is a thank you tracker or if the store can provide any information on who purchased it.  Double check with family or friends who might now - particularly if you can provide the narrowed down list of likely givers.  For example, in my family, a certain aunt always buys you a set of towels.  Another cousin like to buy glasses.  Someone else might be aware of what's the norm for certain gifters.

    If you have tried that and still can't match up the gifts, I'd either be honest with those who are left and see if anyone claims the gift or write general, polite thank yous and see if anyone asks more specifically about an item.


    image
    Anniversary


    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    huskypuppy14 said:
    Not to confuse you more. But we received a couple gifts that had cards with money in them too. So we got cash and a gift from a couple people.

    This might be a bad idea,and someone please correct if I'm out of line. Why don't you pick one of the gifts that you don't know who gave it, and write her a thank you note for that gift. Then if she brings it up, you can apologize and explain the situation. 

    Also, are you friends with your boss, or did you invite her as a courtesy?
    I kinda like this idea.  Dear Big Boss, thank you so much for the glassware.  They'll come in handy for blahblah.  Then, if she says, I'm sorry, I didn't give you glassware, I gave you towels, you can explain that there must have been a mixup in the cards and you thanked your cousins for towels when they must have been the ones to give you the glassware.  Thanks for the correction and for the towels!  Or she'll just know she got you nothing and got thanked for glassware she never gave you.  She'll either bring it up or not.
    Report Reply
  • birdybride2014birdybride2014 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    adk19 said:
    huskypuppy14 said:
    Not to confuse you more. But we received a couple gifts that had cards with money in them too. So we got cash and a gift from a couple people.

    This might be a bad idea,and someone please correct if I'm out of line. Why don't you pick one of the gifts that you don't know who gave it, and write her a thank you note for that gift. Then if she brings it up, you can apologize and explain the situation. 

    Also, are you friends with your boss, or did you invite her as a courtesy?
    I kinda like this idea.  Dear Big Boss, thank you so much for the glassware.  They'll come in handy for blahblah.  Then, if she says, I'm sorry, I didn't give you glassware, I gave you towels, you can explain that there must have been a mixup in the cards and you thanked your cousins for towels when they must have been the ones to give you the glassware.  Thanks for the correction and for the towels!  Or she'll just know she got you nothing and got thanked for glassware she never gave you.  She'll either bring it up or not.
    hmmmmm this is an interesting theory. I'm kinda hoping more people pop by with opinions on this though.....
    image

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards