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"What do you want for Christmas?"

PellegcmPellegcm member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FSIL asked what FI and I would like for Christmas. Is it socially unacceptable or does it look gift grabby if I say anything off the registry? I'm getting a funky gut feeling about it, so I'm thinking that it's not ok.


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Re: "What do you want for Christmas?"

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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    I think it's fine but I would pick a couple specific things. Like "I'd really like a food processor. The one I've had my eye on is on the registry."
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    southernbelle0915 said:
    I think it's fine but I would pick a couple specific things. Like "I'd really like a food processor. The one I've had my eye on is on the registry."

    This. It's not at all gift grabby to ask for something off your registry. It's Christmas, and someone asked you what you would like for a gift. The registry is a whole list of exactly that.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    loro929loro929 member
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    Ditto PPs.
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    PellegcmPellegcm member
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    Excellent - thanks ladies. I felt like it could come off bratty, but it IS a list of what we want. 


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    LakeR2014LakeR2014 member
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    @Pellegcm We did our registry ridiculously early because of this.  My parents wanted to get us something we could use and asked us to set up the registry early so they could use that for Christmas/Birthday presents.   It worked out really well and they loved that they were still choosing our gift but knew it'd be something we could enjoy.  
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    SomethingBeautiful08SomethingBeautiful08 member
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    I actually really like the idea.  It also has a secondary benifit of if they get it for an occasion not your wedding you don't have to wait for the wedding to use it. 
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    AprilH81AprilH81 member
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    That is what I told my parents, sister and (at the time) future in-laws when they asked.  I got a few things off the registry and a few "random" gifts.  Our wedding was in January so the timing was perfect.

    And like @somethingbeautiful08 said, then you don't have to wait until after the wedding to use it!
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
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    @AprilH81 Hey again!  My wedding, also around the same time as yours, I did the same thing.  Oddly enough, no one actually bought anything off my registry, though.  I think they spent less on Christmas and more on the wedding gift, which makes sense to me.  My wedding was so close to Christmas.

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    AprilH81AprilH81 member
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    @kerbohl  Did you ever AW pictures?  There weren't many January brides but I don't remember very many people coming back to AW on our board...
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
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    @AprilH81 Guilty - I wanted to but the files were really big.  Maybe I will this week! I do love the AW posts, so I should also contribute!

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    AprilH81AprilH81 member
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    kerbohl said:
    @AprilH81 Guilty - I wanted to but the files were really big.  Maybe I will this week! I do love the AW posts, so I should also contribute!
    If you do, be sure to tag me so I come look.  :)
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    princessleia22princessleia22 member
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    What was left over from our registry became our Christmas list this year. I think it's fine.

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    MandyMostMandyMost member
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    princessleia22 said:
    What was left over from our registry became our Christmas list this year. I think it's fine.
    I think it's fine to use the registry AFTER the event for which the registry was created for, but it seems odd to use it ahead of time. I mean, you created the registry for your wedding/shower. What happens if you get all that stuff for xmas presents before those events happen? Also, registry presents are limited to things you use as a couple (such as household items)--why not ask for more individual items for xmas/birthdays? Of course you can't stop anyone from buying you stuff off of the registry early, but it seems odd/inappropriate to suggest it, to me.  
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    While single I actually created a regular wish registry from Crate & Barrel. I had reached a point where the college kitchen wasn't cutting it anymore and I wanted more grown up stuff. Something about being 30 and using cartoon character glasses from fast food place wasn't cutting it any more. So I created a wish list for Christmas. My sister actually creates a "Wish List registry" every year on amazon for Christmas. She lives out of town so it actually works great because we can get her exactly what she wants and ship it straight to her house. Her kids use to do that too when they were younger. Which made my sister's life easier when you have relatives who want to send your kids presents that live in 5 different states. There were no duplicates on gifts then & the parents would get the kids something big like leap frog & then put all the games for the relatives to buy.

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    PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
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    All I want this Christmas is my relationship with my FI back in tact.  He broke things up over something very stupid,  I love him, despite him being hardheaded and stubborn.
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    raissyraisraissyrais member
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    PhoneCardLady said:
    All I want this Christmas is my relationship with my FI back in tact.  He broke things up over something very stupid,  I love him, despite him being hardheaded and stubborn.
    I hope everything will fall back into place for the two of you :)
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    PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
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    Thanks.  Every prayer I can get I know the Lord will hear.  Dan is a good man...and I am a good woman that he REALLY needs in his life.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    PhoneCardLady said:
    All I want this Christmas is my relationship with my FI back in tact.  He broke things up over something very stupid,  I love him, despite him being hardheaded and stubborn.
    I'm very sorry.  Something like that happened to me earlier this year with my BF of 3 years.  I had to move across country from NYC to Houston.  He didn't want a long-distance relationship so he broke it off.  I didn't even hear from him on my birthday.  It hurts, but I still miss him.
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    amelishaamelisha member
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    PhoneCardLady said:
    Thanks.  Every prayer I can get I know the Lord will hear.  Dan is a good man...and I am a good woman that he REALLY needs in his life.

    I'm sorry you're hurting, but I have to say that you should never be with someone because they need you. That is such a red flag to me to see you say that.

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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited November 2014
    PhoneCardLady said:
    Thanks.  Every prayer I can get I know the Lord will hear.  Dan is a good man...and I am a good woman that he REALLY needs in his life.
    What do YOU need?  What do YOU really want?  It sounds like God has different plans for you.  As I told my daughter, God will lead you to the right relationship in His time, not yours.  My daughter spent a year mourning her lost love (who wasn't right for her!), and then met the fine Christian man whom she married.  They are very happy, and now they have a beautiful son. 
    Listen to God.  He may be trying to lead you in a different direction.
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