Not Engaged Yet

I've been crying all day

and eating ice cream
and reading
and journaling
watching church services on tv
reading blogs about "how to enjoy being single"

This getting to know myself journey is something else.... 

Thanks for listening...

Re: I've been crying all day

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    You don't have to be happy right after ending a relationship. Eating ice-cream and reading sounds like a pretty good day to me though :) I'm currently listening to my family shout at the TV because the Broncos are playing like shit today.


    lifeisajourneymorphemesKeptInStitchesbride2b71614
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Ice cream and reading is excellent therapy as far as I'm concerned.

    I'm knitting a stranded butterfly hat and scarf and coordinating mittens for a friend of mine who decided now was the time to drop in a complicated Christmas commission. Unless these mittens start going better, I'm joining you in ice cream.
    lifeisajourney
  • *hugs* It's not easy getting back to the single life, that's for sure. I think I was a tearful, ice cream eating zombie for about two weeks after I broke up with ex-BF, and afterward things got MUCH better. Just because it's the right choice doesn't make it a piece of cake!! Just know that it will feel so much better soon (and probably sooner than you think), but in the meantime tears and chocolate and journaling and general sadness are okay.

    I had a shitty morning too - this has been an expensive and exhausting week, and I'm really tired and stressed out over some stuff. But I made plans to spend time with some friends, so that's good. And during the afternoon, my brothers and I helped my dad rake leaves at his house, which was surprisingly fun and therapeutic. (Bonus: it was 55 whole degrees today!) Now I'm planning our Thanksgiving meal and getting ready for The Walking Dead.
  • Chocolate, dark chocolate does wonders :-) also I suggest if you're looking for hobbies knitting and crocheting is great for distracting the mind. You could make a hat and scarf for your child. *hugs* you are going to do amazing in finding yourself.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    lifeisajourney
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    You're mourning a loss, so give yourself a break. It's definitely okay to be sad.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    lifeisajourney
  • I agree with the chocolate.

    Also, when I need to keep my mind busy I like to do Word/Number puzzles or cross-stitch.  They are just stimulating enough to keep my mind interested & busy enough to keep from wondering about without too much stress/work.
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
    image
  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with what the others were saying - once you get out of a relationship, everything is not going to magically be fixed or feel all that great; you still have to mourn the loss of the relationship and even the loss of the friendship.  With time, it'll get better.  Ice cream and sitting on the couch reading/watching TV is awesome for now; if you want, start working out as it does help you feel better.


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    Anniversary
  • The thing that is making it worse is that he is really taking the breakup hard. He keeps calling and texting me trying to get me to see that breaking up was a bad idea, but I know I did the right thing. He's not the one for me and right now i'm not in the emotional place to be the one for anyone. I need to work on me.
  • I was a HOT MESS after my serious ex and I broke up.  And my "hot mess" phase lasted for about 9 months.  I did everything you shouldn't do.  I obsessed about the relationship.  I continued to hook up with him.  I stopped focusing on the things that were important (school, my friends).  I dated a few complete losers to try to convince myself I was over him.  But eventually I found myself.  And you will too.

    It gets better.  I promise.
    ChemFanatic25speakeasy14
  • A word of advice - 

    Get outside.  Interact with real people.  Make plans with friends/family.  You get a day or two to wallow at home but then, time to get moving again.  You'll feel much better if you're not sitting at home!

    Find a new hobby, take a class (If I remember correctly you have a child, find a new activity for the two of you to do together.)  It's a big, fun world out there.  yes, you can be sad and mourn the relationship but do not let it consume you.  Have your moments, but try to keep them at moments, not entire days.
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    CLoGreenEyesAuroraRose41
  • Ollie08Ollie08 Central FL member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    I totally agree with PP. You're allowed to wallow in self pity for a bit, but then it's time to refocus. When my long-time X left, it took me about 2 weeks to get out of the really shitty part. But then I decided to focus on other things, like teaching my youngest how to ride a bike, teaching myself to run, reading books upon books upon books. I spent a LOT of time with my girls. We had a lot of mommy daughter date nights, read books, watched movies. I will tell you that any kind of exercise (even a walk around the block, or a yoga DVD) made me feel SO much better.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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    lunardaydreaming
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    Block any kind of communication he has with you.  Focus your energy on your son, I think you said he was two?  If so, he's at the age where he needs extra attention anyways.

    And here are some funny gifs to make you smile:
    imageimageimage


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    ChemFanatic25
  • I agree with all PP. Let yourself feel what you're feeling; you're mourning the end of a relationship. Even if it was the right thing, it's going to hurt. Give yourself a break, don't expect yourself to snap back to happy in an instant. But, try to get yourself moving, while still letting yourself feel what you're feeling.
    lifeisajourney
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