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Wedding planning blues

Knottie72634379Knottie72634379 member
in Just Engaged and Proposals
We just got engaged July  14, 2014. We decided we didn't want a long engagement because we'd received some advice from friends about keeping it short to keep the wedding within our limits. We foolishly decided on May 2015, we're 8 months out now and we haven't even found a venue. I am so absolutely discouraged. Venues are starting to all look the same and I've lost sight of what it is I THOUGHT I wanted. 

Any advice?
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Re: Wedding planning blues

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    GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    My advice would be to reevaluate your timeline. It CAN be done in eight months, but if you're feeling overwhelmed, and nothing is booked yet, stretch it out a little longer. 



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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie72634379 said:
    We just got engaged July  14, 2014. We decided we didn't want a long engagement because we'd received some advice from friends about keeping it short to keep the wedding within our limits. We foolishly decided on May 2015, we're 8 months out now and we haven't even found a venue. I am so absolutely discouraged. Venues are starting to all look the same and I've lost sight of what it is I THOUGHT I wanted. 

    Any advice?
    What does this even mean?  Look if you are feeling stressed about finding a venue and only having 8 months to the wedding then push your date back.  Having a longer engagement actually helps with costs because you have more time to save up.  This doesn't mean you have to increase your budget but it just gives you some breathing room to get stuff planned and not have to shell out a crap ton of money all at once.

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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I had an 8 month engagement. It's doable. I just wouldn't set / communicate a date until you have booked a venue.




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    southernbride00southernbride00 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2014
    We got engaged in July and are planning a spring wedding.  It's certainly doable, but in the first month we had our venue and guest list already set.  I don't regret doing a short engagement (we're a bit older and have been together awhile), but I guess I didn't realize just how much there is to consider.  It has been stressful.  So if you are stressed now, I'd consider waiting until Fall 2015 or later.  That will give you more time to save money, make non-rushed decisions, etc.  Plus it's really just a few months later.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Do you have some kind of wedding vision that you are trying to find?  This may be the source of your frustration.
    You don't need to find the perfect venue - you need to find a venue that holds your guest numbers, is available when you want it, and fits your budget.  (You DO have a budget and guest list, don't you?  If not, stop looking at venues until you do!)
    You don't need to find the perfect wedding gown - you need to find a dress that fits your budget and makes you feel beautiful.  There are thousands of choices, and you can't try them all.
    I planned my own wedding in two months.  It was a simple late evening ceremony with cake and punch reception at church.  I had to buy the dress off the rack from a sample sale because there wasn't time to order one..
    I would suggest that you get a venue that offers an in house event co-ordinator.  My daughter's reception was at a country club, and they did all the work. She met with the co-ordinator a few times to talk about tablecloths, centerpieces, etc.  All I had to do was to write the check.
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    jackannlujackannlu member
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    I got engaged early August of this year, and our wedding date is April 18, 2015. My advice to you: stop looking at venues until you have a better idea of what you want! I already booked my venue, but when I started looking I knew what I wanted of my venue: my date of April 18, that it could hold 200 people, and that it be a hotel. Knowing what I wanted made it easier as any venue that didn't meet those three things was automatically eliminated. My date especially made it easy, as several places I contacted weren't available that date so I stopped considering them.


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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Push your date back or get serious about settling on a venue.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    jenijoykjenijoyk member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    You'll be fine. We'll be getting married 10 months after getting engaged and we booked our venue about 8 months out. You will have planning ups and planning downs. You'll get through it. Some people seem to really enjoy this entire process (my own groomzilla is one of those people) but dear god it has depressed me more than once. I actually really wish our engagement was shorter because I just want it to be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 The wedding will be fabulous. But I am really really over the planning. 
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    annakay511annakay511 member
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    Don't pick a date - pick a venue. You need to find a venue you love, and then see what dates they have available. I got engaged on August 30 and we are getting married July 25, 2015. I found a venue I loved, and then picked a date from what they had available in my timeline (summer 2015). To pick a set date under a year is really limiting your choices!
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    allysia02allysia02 member
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    Im not getting married until next year so this will be a 12 month engagement and I've had my family try to pressure me to move up the date up. Many people have told me that long engagements are bad yadda yadda yadda but I know what i'm capable of doing with mine and FI schedules and we decided to give ourselves enough time to not only plan the wedding of our dreams but to actually enjoy and savor the process. So take your time, find that perfect venue, see what dates are available and THEN set your date.
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    mrsk616mrsk616 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    we were going to do a wedding next September but decided for 2 reasons to push it off. 1) we dont want to cheap out but dont want a crazy expensive wedding 2) my cousins wedding is the month before. 

    if you feel stressed and dont think you can handle it push it back by 2 months or something. 
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    lunardaydreaminglunardaydreaming member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Because you have eight months, I would suggest possibly looking for a venue you both love instead of picking a date. Shoot for the month you want at the venue you want and be flexible! Good luck. It's definitely doable. My fiance got engaged in June 2014 and had planned on getting married in October 2016, we thought we had all the time in the world! Then we decided towards the end of this October that we wanted to move it up to October 2015 (this was the right move for us). We booked our venue, photographer, band, are about to sign the contract for our caterer and florist, meeting with our officiants in a month, I already bought my dress and picked out a designer for my bridal party, narrowed down the groom and groomsmen's outfits to two options, all in the span of a month. We both work full time, fiance works two part time jobs as well. You can definitely do it! Just lock down your venue!
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    lunardaydreaminglunardaydreaming member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    @jmj6775 didn't you just post that in another thread? Almost verbatim?
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    twofoolsinlovetwofoolsinlove member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We got engaged on July 22, 2014 and we are getting married on April 1, 2016.  It is definitely difficult picking a venue because they do start to look the same.  I think what helped us pick a venue is the perks offered with each package.  If you feel too stressed out I would definitely push the date back. This should be the happiest time of your life.  You don't want to spend your engagement completely stressed out.  Obviously everyone gets somewhat stressed as the wedding approaches but you just got engaged.  Enjoy it! 
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    badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We are having an eight month engagement. We are about five months out and have the big items locked down except caterer and rentals. I was in a wedding where the couple was engaged for three months. That was tough on them in some ways but aside from venue, dress and photographer everything can be booked on a pretty short turn around. In some ways I think a shorter engagement is easier to plan. The longer you have to stress, the more stressful it seems, at least in my mind. I think there is a wedding mystique that makes you believe that weddings are supposed to be stressful. It's actually only as stressful as you make it. 

    That said, if you need more time, push it back. If you haven't booked anything there's no downside. What do you think the impediment is on booking a venue? 


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    kipper88kipper88 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    We got engaged the day after Thanksgiving this year, the venue booked 1 week later.  We're looking at a 9 month engagement.  Pick your date around the venue you want.  That's what we did.  I originally was thinking August, but they only had September 26th available, so that's what we went with.

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