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When is it polite to send invites for Jan wedding?

cat885cat885 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I are getting married on January 24.  And so 4 weeks before the wedding would be Christmas Eve and not the day we will be sending the invites. Some family members on his side have said that we would send the invites the day after Christmas, and my side has said before Christmas.
The RSVP date on the RSVP cards is Jan 5. And so I was thinking I should send them a few days before Christmas, but is that the polite way to do it? I want to make sure they have enough time to respond.

 The other thing is that my fiance and I right now live 3 hours from my parents and 2.5 from his, and almost all of the invites are going to one of the two cities, but also there are a good number going to people in states across the country and one even is going to Europe.  Should I send the invites that have to travel farther at an earlier date?  And should I get home addresses for college students or send their ivites before they get out of school?
I am so confused, and neither side of the family has been very helpful with the wedding planning (my side has severe medical problems as do I, and so they cant really help much, and his side either doesn't actually want us to get married but is begrudgingly doing what they need to do though not really talking to us about it, or they "dont want to intrude upon his mother.") So any help I can get with this will be wonderful.
Thank you so much!!!
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Re: When is it polite to send invites for Jan wedding?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited November 2014
    I answered you on the invites board.

    ETA:  Seeing the RSVP information, you should really send your invites a few weeks before Christmas.  If you send them around Christmas it may take longer for them to be delivered because of the post being off on Christmas and on Sundays.  You want to give your guests more then a week to get the invite, look over their schedule, ask off if they need to and get the card back into the mail and to you before Jan 5th.

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  • yogablossomyogablossom member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Usually wedding invite go out about 2 months before the wedding. You want to give your guests enough time to RSVP, and get your final counts to the venue/caterer
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    6-8 weeks prior to the wedding date is common to send the invites out. I'd likely send yours in early-mid December. Don't worry about how long the mail takes to get closer vs. further away--just send them all at the same time. Everyone will still get them within a couple days of each other. 

    For college kids, I guess I"d send them to their home/permanent address instead of their college address, unless you happen to know they'll only be home for a few days or something. It can't hurt to just ask them, also. "Hey, I'm going to send out wedding invites in the next couple weeks. What address should I send yours to?". 

    I think your timing is good because you'll likely see a lot of family over the holidays, and they'll likely mention that they received your invites, and/or you can ask them if they did. I had some drama over an invite getting lost in the mail, but this way you'll easily be able to talk to people casually without it being a big deal, so there should be no drama. 
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'd send them by the end of November, early December.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with PP.. after Christmas is almost to late I feel like.  I know I'd get it and be like wow this is soon!! I'd send them next week or first part of Dec. To makes up for the slower mail time due to the Holidays.
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  • ReginaLambert13ReginaLambert13 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    After xmas will be too later IMO.  With all the extra mail that xmas brings it will likely take longer for anything mailed around that time to get where it's going and 4 weeks is a little short to begin with.  At several of the places I have worked, you had to give a full months notice to get a specific day off without trading and then if no one wanted to trade you were out of luck.  So basically for your wedding date I would have had to ask off no later than the end of december and even then the earlier the better because the schedules were often written about 5 weeks out so that we all could get the next months schedule before the start of the month.  While this isn't the case everywhere you want to make sure that if any of your guests ARE in this situation they don't miss your wedding because they didn't given enough notice.

    I would mail mail them no later than the beginning of december, personally.  You want people to have plenty of time to ask off, book travel, and just plain figure things out.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    An RSVP date of January 5th for a January 24th wedding seems a bit early. . . is your venue requiring a headcount that soon?

    I'd send your invitations out now- 6-8 weeks is the norm.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • awleia1awleia1 member
    Knottie Warrior Name Dropper First Comment
    We have the same wedding date. I sent my invitations out today. We went with the early side of the the date window because I wanted people to have time to decide BEFORE the holiday season got underway. 
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  • firebabe6519firebabe6519 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Holiday season can be a crazy time for most people. I would plan to send out invites asap. Typically 6-8 weeks is good. But you may expect a delay in people getting back to you over the holidays. Also mail often runs slower around Christmas.
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  • jellybeannjellybeann member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    An RSVP date of January 5th for a January 24th wedding seems a bit early. . . is your venue requiring a headcount that soon?

    I'd send your invitations out now- 6-8 weeks is the norm.
    That's only 19 days between the RSVP date and the wedding, and with stragglers it means it'll probably be closer to two weeks before the wedding before everyone's responses are in. That's pretty standard. I wouldn't side-eye.

    But I do agree that OP should get her invites out soon.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Now! Send them now. Or next week. Where did you get the idea to only send 4 weeks in advance ?
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