Registry and Gift Forum

Soooo... we're not using any of this cool stuff until the wedding?

We're about 1.5 months out from the wedding and are starting to get quite the pile of wedding gifts. Is the etiquette to not use them until after the wedding? It seems so silly and I'm dying to get rid of all our terrible pots and pans and reorganize the kitchen. But I shouldn't, right? Until afterwards? And until then I just have this messy pile of giant boxes sitting in the corner of my dining room? (True confessions: I put out the fancy glass cake stand my bestie sent me. I haven't put anything in it. It's just sitting on the table, calling for donuts. It makes me happy everytime I walk into the dining room.)
bethb819MairePoppy[Deleted User]

Re: Soooo... we're not using any of this cool stuff until the wedding?

  • What about shower gifts? My shower is this Saturday and I'm a crazy person and stalked my registries and someone bought me a really fancy blender and since it hasn't arrived yet I'm thinking someone might be bringing it to the shower and oh my god SMOOTHIES. Oh my god. I am unreasonably excited about kitchen gifts! Do you have to wait to use shower gifts until after the wedding????? Oh my god DAIQUIRIES.
  • Also, I just want to say, that it is so cool to walk by my fancy cake stand, which I totally could have purchased myself obviously, but instead to think, "Bestie gave me this cake stand for my wedding!" It's just SO HAPPY!

    (Sorry, I had a lot of coffee today.)

  • lurkergirllurkergirl ATL member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Haha, yes, you should wait.  But it sounds like you already know that :)

    Your one "out" to the rule, I think, is that you can open and use them if and only if you're prepared to replace any items if you need to return them. 




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    jenijoykMegalega14AprilH81RebeccaB88
  • I used my gifts. I would have replaced them if I had to, but I was pretty damn sure we weren't going to call off the wedding.
    jenijoyklabroMaggie0829
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My dining room was FULL with gifts.  I didn't use any of them.  Granted, I was also waiting for DH to move in with me (we didn't live together until we got married). 

    Funny story.  We got married on Super Bowl weekend.  I have some very dear friends who came in from out-of-state for the wedding and made a weekend out of it.  They stayed until Monday morning and we hosted a kickass Super Bowl party (I know I'm crazy, but it was so worth it).  Sunday afternoon, we totally tore into the gifts looking for the fun chip & dip set and other fun hostessing things we got.  
    jenijoykLlikotdesserd
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I used everything. I didn't care. I live in the islands. Had the wedding had not gone through it would have been a bigger pain and more expensive to ship things from down there. I would have just replaced everything by shopping online.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I used or at the very least opened and put all my stuff away before the wedding!  As long as you are able to repay/replace the items should the wedding not happen, i think it's totally fine to use.  
    jenijoyk
  • We have opened and put away the gifts from our showers and have been using them since June. Granted, FI and I bought a house together last December and we are now 11 days out from the wedding, so we are pretty positive it will all go through ;) I know technically we aren't supposed to, but we could cover the cost if needed. Mainly we are using our every day dishes and serving ware, shark steam mop, kitchen utensils and towels, etc. If we had registered for/received fine china, I doubt we'd be using it (since we have had no occasions for it!)
    jenijoykfalsara
  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I put all of our gifts in the spare bedroom until after the wedding.

    There was one gift that I used ahead of time and that was because I was hosting a Christmas Cookie party and two of the women who chipped in on that item (plus some others) were going to be attending.  I put that item on the registry with that event in mind so I wanted to show them how much I loved it.  :)

    Otherwise I waiting until after the honeymoon to fully unpack our gifts.  Our return from our honeymoon coincided with the Macy's big Home sale so the day after we got back I went to Macy's with our wedding cash and gift cards and used our registry discount to get our pots and pans, the rest of our dishes and some other odds and ends.  Being able to stack those two events saved us so much money!!!!
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    jenijoykjaprincess24
  • I'm looking forward to starting fresh with all new stuff when we get home from the honeymoon, like this instant switch-over from "this house that has both our crap in it" to "our home with all of our things together."

    I did start to use the new knives my dad got us, because he basically told us to... and I nearly cut my finger off. That triggered just enough superstition to keep the rest in the basement!

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    jenijoykMairePoppy[Deleted User]japrincess24
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with Laura and lolo. I don't think it's a huge deal to use stuff if you can replace it. However, it was a lot of fun getting to use everything at once. It was like getting presents all over again.
    jenijoyk[Deleted User]
  • We opened and starting using our new dish set! Right away! We were pumped to get away from our plain all white dish set lol. I also received a cast iron wok and put it away.

     

    jenijoyk
  • Granted, because of schedules, our showers were May 31 and June 6 for our September 6 wedding. We didn't really have anywhere to store all our goodies besides putting them away... Not for 3 months, at least.
  • We've used the stuff from the shower because some people intended that and made comments about they wanted us to have it for the guests coming in to stay with us for the wedding (we got some bathroom stuff for a newly remodeled bathroom).  We also got an "off registry" Keurig and my mom instantly asked how I liked it and which coffees I prefered.  (We also addded Kcups to the registry because of it :) )  

    The actual wedding gifts that have arrived we have not opened and not used except a rug that came pretty much with no shipping packaging so we took the plastic off it.  Also HUGE so no place to store except on the floor where it goes. :)  

    I like the idea of opening them all together, plus since many have the card inside (I hope) it gives us a reason to do all the Thank You's at once and ensures they will all be on the same list. if we don't know who they are from we really can't make a list for me to lose.  We'll just have to wait until we open them all. (I did my shower thank yous the next day...and intend to actually do my wedding ones the day we get back because I am so paranoid of time getting away from me).  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I have opened the kitchen items and put them away but we have yet to use them.  Granted, I think we are in somewhat of a unique situation.  We are slowly (but I think fully this weekend) moving into our new house.  One of the easiest things to move ahead of the big move day was all the already boxed up stuff we got at the shower two weeks ago.  My brother, who loves cooking and is all about operational kitchens, offered to take everything out of the boxes, test them, and arrange them in the kitchen for us.  I know technically we should have left them in boxes until after the wedding, but I'm not about to turn down free moving help!  I do understand though that we would have to replace everything to return to the gifters if the wedding doesn't go through, but I was willing to take the risk this time!
  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    We haven't opened anything yet but probably will this weekend. 2 of my good friends (one a BM) are coming in from out of town next weekend for my bachelorette. After throwing away a bunch of crappy bedding, we no longer have enough sheets and pillows for everyone staying with us. However, we got 2 beautiful new sets of sheets and two fancy pillows from my parents at my shower that we will probably open. It seems silly to buy new stuff for one weekend when there's so much beautiful stuff waiting to be ripped open.

    Actually, we did open one more thing: my aunt gave us a tin of fancy dog biscuits as part of my shower gift. If we wait to give Maury his treats, they'll already be 2 months old. I'd hate for them to get stale!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    jenijoykPineapplePopsicles
  • W opened everything as it arrived to make sure nothing was damaged and then put it back in its box. After the wedding we had a huge amount of gifts to open and that was so much fun! But now it all goes into storage until we (hopefully) buy a place next year, and then I get to open them all over again! Lol
  • edited August 2014
    emmaboyle said:
    W opened everything as it arrived to make sure nothing was damaged and then put it back in its box. After the wedding we had a huge amount of gifts to open and that was so much fun! But now it all goes into storage until we (hopefully) buy a place next year, and then I get to open them all over again! Lol
    change your usernames to something other than your full names.  the internet is scary, ya'll!
    Don't do it!! My answer is not really based on etiquette - I KNOW my fiance and I are going through with the wedding, as we have been a family of three for 3+ years, have lived together nearly 5, etc etc. With that being said...  think of what a blast it will be to return from your honeymoon and re-open all of the gifts. Sure, maybe it's a messy pile of boxes right now, but with the wedding planning and trip planning behind you, what a great new project to take on together! 

  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I will probably go against etiquette and open/use stuff, just because my tiny apartment has no "spare" anything (room, space, closet). I'm also going to have a tiny registry for that reason, though.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    taygete05
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    We haven't opened anything yet but probably will this weekend. 2 of my good friends (one a BM) are coming in from out of town next weekend for my bachelorette. After throwing away a bunch of crappy bedding, we no longer have enough sheets and pillows for everyone staying with us. However, we got 2 beautiful new sets of sheets and two fancy pillows from my parents at my shower that we will probably open. It seems silly to buy new stuff for one weekend when there's so much beautiful stuff waiting to be ripped open.

    Actually, we did open one more thing: my aunt gave us a tin of fancy dog biscuits as part of my shower gift. If we wait to give Maury his treats, they'll already be 2 months old. I'd hate for them to get stale!
    I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that got dog presents at their bridal shower. LOL
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    jenijoyk
  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    I've solemnly sworn not to use anything we received at our shower (I just moved three hours away from FI and he's moving after the wedding), except for two things:

    1) an absolutely adorable painting we picked out with the giftcards we got - it's already on the wall

    2) an amazing set of hand-made soaps.  Oh no, this is for me.  This is mine.  I need this.  Right now.  FI isn't interested in smelling purdy, so WIN!

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    jenijoyk
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I used pretty much everything before the wedding.  I was 110% sure that the wedding was going to go on like planned and H and I moved to a new house a month before our wedding.  There was no way in hell I was going to pack up old and new towels, sheets and other stuff to move to our new place.  And seriously, who wouldn't want to use new towels as soon as you get them?

  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    FI and I have started using a few things, mainly out of necessity. We got the prettiest spoon rest for the kitchen and have that on our stove (didn't have one previously and I bitched about it all the time). I also broke out the pyrex glass measuring cup we got since I needed it for dinner the other night. The rest of the stuff is sitting in a corner of my living room, waiting to be washed and used. I know the wedding will go on as planned but I like the idea of coming home from our mini-moon and getting to finally use all of our new stuff. Just something to look forward to after the excitement of the wedding is over.
  • My shower was a week ago. I opened everything and put it away immediately, the same night. I've used some of the gifts several times now. My fiance and I were living very menially before this, we had only two dinner plates, no coffee maker, no crock pot, nearly no utensils. 

    The wedding is in three weeks, I say we're 'testing' the items out. 
    jenijoyk[Deleted User]mego2708taygete05
  • The only big gift we have used so far is a fancy knife because I COULD NOT cut open a squash with my current knives. I can replace it if the wedding gets canceled. I also put out our new bathroom stuff because I knew some visiting relatives would want to see it. I can replace that if needed too. If someone sent me something one-of-a-kind or very pricey I would not use it until after the wedding. It would be awkward to have to send it back used. I'm not sure what to do with monogrammed gifts since those can't be returned to the store. I guess you would still return them to the sender if the wedding in canceled and have them be stuck with something with your initials on it.
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