This board in particular has been extremely helpful. I have a question that's been nagging at me for awhile. I first thought it would be appropriate for the Food.Cake board, but now I realize it's probably a better fit for here. ANYWAY.
So my father has graciously offered to pay for our food and beverages. He's been involved in looking at estimates and selecting the caterer and I am making sure to get his approval on all decisions related to this particular expense. FI and I have been very grateful and he's honestly been really great, making it clear he wants this to be the wedding we want and that he's happy to contribute. But I still believe that he who pays gets a say, and I don't believe he should pay a dime for anything he doesn't want to.
He got re-married a couple of years ago and for the bar he had two hours of open bar and then switched to two hours of beer/wine only. He is big on this idea and believes it saves money and stops people from getting too drunk. The caterer suggested that if we want to save money we can do two hours of full and two hours of beer/wine/one or two signature drinks, which is a suggestion he liked. So the estimate he put a deposit on is based on that bar set-up. FI likes this idea too, though both of our initial hopes was to do full bar during the whole event, but after talking it over with the caterer and my dad we feel better about this.
However, these last few days I've been really starting to wonder if it's rude to do this. We'd be providing alcohol all night and would be sure to choose signature drinks that have as wide an appeal as possible, but I can't help wonder if switching what's offered is pulling the rug out from under our guests. I want to be a good host and if switching the bar offerings halfway through is bad hosting, then we will fund those two extra hours of full ourselves. Would not ask him to pay for that, of course, but again, if it's bad etiquette, then I don't want to do it.