when a friend wants to host an engagement party, how to handle?

Re: when a friend wants to host an engagement party, how to handle?

• Maggie0829 member

  

  December 2014

  Engagement parties are not supposed to be gift giving events.  Some people may get you a nice bottle of wine or something small like that but a registry would not be appropriate.

  
  

  Anyone who is invited to the e-party or any pre-wedding party needs to be invited to the wedding.  So if you are not sure of your wedding guest list or wedding budget yet you would need to keep the guest list for the e-party to only the VIPs such as immediate family and super close friends.

  
  

  It is very generous of your friends to want to throw you a party.  I think two e-parties is a bit over kill.  IMO, I really don't understand e-parties to begin with, but to each their own.  You can decline both or just one if you wish, nothing wrong with that at all.  But if you do accept know that the only parts of the planning process that you should be involved with is the guest list and date of the party, everything else is up to the hosts.

  
  

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• Lauderdale Pink member

  

  December 2014

  If the two prospective hosts live 3 hours away from each other, it is not likely that the guest lists will overlap, but speak with them to make sure.  As for gift giving, every social circle is different.  In my groups, it is, most definitely, a gift giving occasion, but I know others are different.  If you are asked to register, then the person throwing that party is accustomed to the gift giving event, so if you agree to that party, then, yes, register.  The biggest "rule" is if somebody is invited to a pre-party (other than the ones thrown by work places) they are invited to the wedding.  The first thing to do is to speak with each of these hostesses and find out what their exact plans are and determine if you are OK with their ideas.  

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• peachy13 member

  

  December 2014

  My mom threw me and my FI an engagement party last summer and I too was a little out of my element. I kept fearing that the whole thing would come off as a "come celebrate us and tell us how awesome we are!!" show, but it wasn't like that at all. It was actually awesome! It was like a little preview of the wedding and it ended up being so much fun. Even though my mom hosted food and drinks at her house, my FI and I helped her around the house getting ready for the party, and also helped sending out invitations beforehand. We invited our whole guest list which I know is excessive, but I have a huge problem with leaving people out (I have 9 bridesmaids FFS). Many people came and brought gifts, which we politely accepted and put into a corner of the living room. We did not register even though some people suggested we should. Don't register for your e-party. We also made sure not to open gifts during the party in front of everyone as it would come off as a gift-giving event, which it was not. We also didn't do anything cheesy like have a cake cutting or a reveal of the wedding party. Just lots of drinks, food, and backyard games. Opened gifts the next day and sent TY cards later that week. Some of my FI's relatives are still telling me 8 months later that it was such a fun party and that they can't wait for the wedding!

  
  

  have fun and good luck!

  
  
  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  December 2014

  You don't need to register as an engagement party is not a gift-giving event although some people do it.
  
  You are correct that anyone invited to an engagement party must also be invited to the wedding, just as with any other pre- or post-wedding event. Normally I would agree that more than one engagement party is too much, but given the distance between the towns in your case, I wouldn't side-eye two.

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