Etiquette

What's an appropriate "thank you" for this situation?

edited November 2014 in Etiquette
My cousin and his wife have graciously paid for our four-night stay for our honeymoon. The retail cost of the room they gifted us is over $1,800 (It's about $450 a night). I'm giving them a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant as a thank-you (and obviously mailing a card as well) and I was wondering what an appropriate amount would be. 

Re: What's an appropriate "thank you" for this situation?

  • indianaalumindianaalum member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    I think a nice thank you card is sufficient. You don't need to give a "gift" for a wedding gift received. Think about it this way. If someone wrote you a check for your wedding for 1800 as a gift, would you go in return buy them a gift? no probably not.

    You just send a very nice thank you card and make sure they know your appreciation

    p.s. just out of curiousity, where are you honeymooning at that it costs 450.00 a night? That seems hefty
    bahamabride2015
  • It's a deluxe villa, has a ridiculous balcony view, kitchenette, living room, etc. They're in a vacation club, and got it at a good discount.
  • Oh and it's one of the deluxe hotels in Disney! @indianaalum
    flutteringinfldolewhipperbahamabride2015
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    A thank you card with a very personal and effusive message of appreciation would be appropriate. How generous!
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    weddingcactus
  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    I think a nice thank you card is sufficient. You don't need to give a "gift" for a wedding gift received. Think about it this way. If someone wrote you a check for your wedding for 1800 as a gift, would you go in return buy them a gift? no probably not.

    You just send a very nice thank you card and make sure they know your appreciation

    p.s. just out of curiousity, where are you honeymooning at that it costs 450.00 a night? That seems hefty
    Agree with this. I'm sure they're not expecting any kind of gift in return, so just a very nice, personal card would be fine.

    That said, my rule of thumb for giving restaurant gift cards is that it should be enough to cover a full meal (I usually factor in an appetizer, main course, dessert, and couple of drinks for each person) plus tip. I don't want the recipient to have to pay for any of the meal out of pocket.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd send a nice letter of thanks.
  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Oh and it's one of the deluxe hotels in Disney! @indianaalum
    Depending on the season, $450 is on the low end. Have fun at the parks!



    imageimage



  • Oh and it's one of the deluxe hotels in Disney! @indianaalum
    Depending on the season, $450 is on the low end. Have fun at the parks!

    Yup, I checked the going rate for our honeymoon when she booked it and it was almost $500 some nights. Just for the room!

    Thank you for the responses, everyone. Mailing out a thoughtful card and a gift card for a meal out - she's also helping me plan the whole trip, and I know they deserve a night out :)
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Our honeymoon stay was gifted to us by a family friend. We sent her a thank you card when she told us about it and then another one after we returned to let her know how much we enjoyed it and how nice everything was. She would have been mortified if we would have given her a gift for the gift she gave us. A gift doesn't have to be given for every single thing. Sometimes people just want to do something nice for someone else.
    image
  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer

    That was so sweet of them!  I'm sure you'll have a blast!

    I would say write them a very nice thank you note, and maybe bring them something back from your honeymoon.  Something personal or sentimental to show that you had a great time because of their gift. 

  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I agree that a heartfelt thank you note afterward would be sufficient.  I would also be tempted to send a photo of the room and one or two showing how good of a time you had on your trip (maybe photos taken at the park, not of the fun you have in the room).  And write a thank you note right away so you still have all the "wow" emotion that can flow into the note.

    image 

  • Our honeymoon stay was gifted to us by a family friend. We sent her a thank you card when she told us about it and then another one after we returned to let her know how much we enjoyed it and how nice everything was. She would have been mortified if we would have given her a gift for the gift she gave us. A gift doesn't have to be given for every single thing. Sometimes people just want to do something nice for someone else.

    I think a nice thank you card is sufficient. You don't need to give a "gift" for a wedding gift received. Think about it this way. If someone wrote you a check for your wedding for 1800 as a gift, would you go in return buy them a gift? no probably not.

    You just send a very nice thank you card and make sure they know your appreciation

    p.s. just out of curiousity, where are you honeymooning at that it costs 450.00 a night? That seems hefty
    I didn't consider it just a gift. I consider it "paying for a significant portion of our wedding." $1800 is an enormous amount of money for our social circle. If we got a gift of $1800 I'd think it was a typo, or one of those fake lottery tickets - many of our friends work part-time or are stay-at-home parents (not that I'm judging, or give two shakes of a lamb's tail what they make - I just know where my friends work, and that many are single-income.)

    TL;DR: $1800 is a lot for us.

    Following the advice of all of you, we've sent a heartfelt thank-you, and I'm giving them a gift card later on as a thank you for helping us plan, because they're investing their precious free time to help us decide our schedule :)

    Thank you all!
  • Also, @princessleia22, they've stayed at every resort there, so they probably know the layout of half the rooms at the park! We'll definitely send them pictures anyway :)
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