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Inviting ringbearer's mom?

becks0227becks0227 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are planning a very small ceremony and reception (60-70 guests) and are not planning +1's for anyone (but obviously we are planning for SO's).  One of the GM's son is our ring bearer.  Currently, the parents are not together--but are a very on/off again couple.  Does the mother need to be invited? She and I are not friends---actually do not get along at all-- but I am trying to make sure I am not letting personal feelings toward her cloud my judgment.
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Re: Inviting ringbearer's mom?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    photokitty said:
    Plan to invite her, but wait until invitation time to decide. If they are "on" then invite her, if they are "off" just invite the GM and his son. If the GM is in a relationship with the mother when invites go out, you invite her regardless of how you feel personally about her.

    For now you should include her in the guest count for your planning and budget purposes. GL!
    ditto






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    lyndausvi said:


    photokitty said:

    Plan to invite her, but wait until invitation time to decide. If they are "on" then invite her, if they are "off" just invite the GM and his son. If the GM is in a relationship with the mother when invites go out, you invite her regardless of how you feel personally about her.

    For now you should include her in the guest count for your planning and budget purposes. GL!

    ditto

    This
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  • becks0227becks0227 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks. Just thinking ahead (invites are going out next week) what if they get together after the invitations go out?
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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    becks0227 said:
    Thanks. Just thinking ahead (invites are going out next week) what if they get together after the invitations go out?
    I know you are not giving out general +1s for those not in relationships but consider whether you should in the instance of this groomsman, and any other WP member who is single. I have never snagged a random date for a wedding (only ever brought a dude if I was in a very serious relationship) but if it were a situation where I was single and in the WP, I would appreciate the option of bringing a friend. In this instance, giving this groomsman a +1 if he is not currently dating mom would also allow him to decide whether the ringbearer's mom should be there. 
    image
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    becks0227 said:
    Thanks. Just thinking ahead (invites are going out next week) what if they get together after the invitations go out?
    I think the general rule is it's a nice gesture to include her if they get together after invites go out but it's not against etiquette at that point, because you had no way of knowing. 

    Formerly martha1818

    image


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  • abbyj700abbyj700 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    becks0227 said:
    We are planning a very small ceremony and reception (60-70 guests) and are not planning +1's for anyone (but obviously we are planning for SO's).  One of the GM's son is our ring bearer.  Currently, the parents are not together--but are a very on/off again couple.  Does the mother need to be invited? She and I are not friends---actually do not get along at all-- but I am trying to make sure I am not letting personal feelings toward her cloud my judgment.
    Invite them both. Send the invitation to the GM's address. If he decides to bring her, they must currently be back on. If he doesn't - his decision. Either way, you're not the bad guy. 
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