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My H is a scrooge

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudie,
My husband and I have been together for six years. We are finally, after years of struggling financially, in a place where we live comfortably. This is our first Christmas in the new apartment, and I want to purchase some (cheap) decorations for the holiday. We are not religious, I just want a small tree and some ornaments to hang from it. I enjoy Christmas because it reminds me of my childhood and my family with whom I am very close. My family is hugely Christmas-centric, some of them having six or seven trees in one house. My husband hates Christmas. When I brought up my desire to get a small, cheap tree, he told me absolutely not, that I was forbidden to put up any Christmas decorations. (He does not have PTSD or anything related to the holiday season, so I don’t get it.) I’ve explained to him how I feel about the holiday, and why I want to do it, but it makes no difference. What do we do?

—Mrs. Scrooge

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Re: My H is a scrooge

  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    They've been together for six years and this is only NOW coming up? I think FI and I talked about family holidays and traditions (and likes and dislikes) on the first date!
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Here's what she should do - you go buy the effing tree, set up the tree how SHE will enjoy it, and tell Mr. Scrooge where he can stick it ala National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation...

    Yea  - I married Mr. Scrooge himself (if not the Grinch) and can't count the years we've had nothing up before Christmas because of HIS attitude and my being a people pleaser!  DH celebrates for about 30 minutes on Christmas Day if we're lucky (for cripes sake if he doesn't want to get me anything at least stop at the florist!).  He celebrated St. Nick's day by taking stuff away from the kids' stockings because he thinks St. Nick put too much in there.  He also got chewed out directly following this because "If you want things done a certain way, when you're asked to give feedback, be involved, don't say you "can't think about that" yet"... 

    Yea - Mr. Scrooge has a surprise coming when Christmas Morning gets here!!!

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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Did a tree fall on him as a kid?
    image
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I thought this was going to be more of a financial nature.  Like he'd rather spend the money on dinner. I was prepared to say something about fun money.  I'm thinking she should use the fun money for counseling/divorce/new apartment.
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  • weddingcactusweddingcactus member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My fiance doesn't really like Christmas, so we rarely get a tree. But a few times my brother wanted chop down a fresh tree for us (with a permit - no poaching) and my fiance was fine with it as long as I did the work of decorating and un-decorating. (He even helped put it in the stand for me.) Relationships should be about compromise, not demands or prohibitions. This husband sounds like a real dud. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    6fsn said:
    I thought this was going to be more of a financial nature.  Like he'd rather spend the money on dinner. I was prepared to say something about fun money.  I'm thinking she should use the fun money for counseling/divorce/new apartment.
    I thought about that too - then realized if they got a small tree from a "big box" it'd be around $20, then a stand if they don't have one, and a pack of ornaments and realized this is an argument over <$60 if she keeps it minimal..  If they got their ducks in a row for finances and she keeps it small, there's no reason for Scrooge to not let her get a tree..
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  • VanillaWolfVanillaWolf member
    Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2014
    My Fi also hates Christmas decor, and hates the Christmas cheer/music. However, he realized that it makes me happy. So, as long as I put up the decor and take it down he doesn't care if we have it up. Our first Christmas together in our new apartment, he was iffy on buying a tree because it was money we didn't have. Thankfully, one of my coworkers heard that I couldn't afford a tree and gave me one of her multitude of trees (her family puts up a tree in every room of the house). He hates the idea of spending money on new decor and ornaments, but we agreed we can buy new decor the day after Christmas when hallmark ornaments are 50% off and decor is on sale for super cheap for the next year.
    (edited for my typos)
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm not big on the decorations, but if my husband was, I definitely wouldn't forbid it!  I'd also still help him put it up.  If it makes him happy, it would be worth it.  This husband doesn't sound like he cares too much about his wife's happiness above his own. 

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