Going Natural

missrekaeagle · April 2010

I'm thinking about growing out my relaxer and taking the natural plunge. I'm nervous about it and I don't know how FI will like it. He hates my sisters natural look, probably because he doesn't like the curly look. I'd prefer my hair to be straight and look like I have a relaxer, just without the relaxer.

Normally I faithfully get relaxers every 6 weeks, but I've gone 2 months without one and I don't think my hair looks bad at all. FI said he couldn't tell, probably because I go get it flat ironed every 2 weeks to keep it looking decent. But I'm kinda nervous about how it will look in another month or so when I have more new growth.

Can anyone offer any tips on how to make this transition an easy one? Also, is 14 months long enough to completely grow out my relaxer before my wedding? I have shoulder length hair that is naturally kind of thin (not balding or anything just not thick). TIA!

tyboyd · April 2010

I don't have any suggestions for you. I just want to wish you good luck with it! I tried to go 2 months without the creamy crack and I failed! I HATE NEW GROWTH!!! But my mom did it. She uses a product called Uncle Funky's Daughter.

How do you want to wear your hair for the wedding? What length are you going for?

missrekaeagle · April 2010

I want to wear my hair pulled back into a bun or something for the wedding because I'm having an outdoor wedding in July in NC, so hot hot hot. I'm thinking something like this (flower & all):

I figured the bun would have to be unnatural lol anyway because my hair isn't thick enough. Aside from the wedding I just want my hair to be at least as long as it is now which is shoulder length.

tyboyd · April 2010

IDK that the relaxer would completely be grown out but that hairstyle shouldn't look a hot mess. lol. Have you thought about some tracks to make it fuller (is that a word?! lol) in the top?

rodeo417 · April 2010

I would suggest to have your stylist trim your relaxed ends off every visit. Get a rod set or wear braids. don't be shocked if there is breakage. You should be fine for the wedding. You might have to add an extention if its not long enough for your taste. Keep in mind that you will have to keep your hair moisturized more often.

tamtam7 · April 2010

I have been wearing my hair natural for the past 10 or 11 years. I mostly where it straightened now that I live in the antebellum south. I'm trying to get back into wearing more natural hairstyles though. You may want to try this website: http://www.curlynikki.com/. There are tips on there about transitioning and the best products to use. There is also a forum so that you can post questions about how to wear your hair for the wedding, etc. The woman that started the site is actually from Raleigh. Your hair texture will go through many different changes, so while you will have a lot of "new hair" in 14 months, over the years your hair texture will likely change. You will notice how healthy and full your hair is. I had thin hair too when I wore a relaxer, it's a lot fuller now. It's a little damaged now though because I wear it in a bun everyday which strains my hair and all of the heat from straigtening it (hence the reason I want to wear more natural styles), but it's better than it would be. Best of luck to you.

cincy2011 · April 2010

Go for it girl! Your hair will love you for it. Like Tam, I've been natural for about 10 years now - maybe a little less. I found a great salon that helped me through the transition process. Like Rodeo said, you will want to get your relaxed ends trimmed regularly to encourage faster growth of your new hair. Before you know it, all of the relaxed hair will be gone! When I grew my hair out it took me about 1.5 years to get to shoulder length natural hair from a full relaxer. Natural hair grows much faster and is much stronger than relaxed hair, so you will have a fuller, healthy head of hair for your wedding! If you are wearing the bun for the wedding, your hair will be fine. You will just need to get the right products to keep your slicked part tamed and flat, so it doesn't puff up in the heat. A few products I use on my hair:

- Kinky Curly shampoo, conditioner and curling creme

- EcoStyler clear gel (for strong hold when I slick it back into a bun/ponytail)

- JessiCurl conditioner for really deep conditioning - also use it as a leave in conditioner

- Taaji Waheed (sp?) moisturizing spray - when I wear my hair curly I spray this in it every day to maintain moisture

- Coconut oil for moisture

- Olive oil for deep conditioning

- Shea butter (emulsified) for moisture

Your natural hair will be drier b/c the curlier texture dries out fast, so like rodeo said you need to make a strong effort to keep it moisturized. As you transition, I'd recommend always using a leave in conditioner, b/c some people's hair tends to break at the point where the hair shaft turns from relaxed to natural b/c that part is weaker. So you want to keep your hair very moisturized to prevent breakage and encourage growth. I would definitely try Curly Nikki's twist n' curl style for the transition period, as well as twists, braid outs and possibly buns (but don't get in the habit of wearing buns all the time - too much stress on your hair/hairline).

One site I'd recommend is www.longhaircareforum.com. It costs $7/year to be a "full" member, but the info on that site is absolutely amazing! One more thing - I'd recommend upping your vitamins to strengthen your hair during the transition - you want to take fish oil and a strong antioxidant such as alpha liopic acid (both are at whole foods or the grocery store) in addition to your regular multi vitamin. Good luck and PM me ANYTIME - I am a huge proponent of natural hair and I'm really into caring for it the right way!

rodeo417 · April 2010

another good website is http://www.nappturality.com
i've been with them for over 2 years now since i chopped all my hair off. Best thing i ever did!

missrekaeagle · April 2010

You ladies have a wealth of information! Thank you so much.

NeColeMonet · April 2010

I'm also natural although I generally keep it curly and don't like putting heat on my hair. If you're going to wear your hair straight for the wedding I would test out the style prior to doing so. You don't want to be out in the sun, start sweating and then have your hair turn into a fro have way through the ceremony. I have thin hair too (not balding, just born that way, lol) and my experience has been that my hair straightens easily (when I was using heat) however once the humidity hits it it curls right on up. Thicker hair seems to be more resistant to humidity..I could be wrong though. Just make sure that if you do pull your hair in a bun and use fake hair that it matches as close to the texture of your hair as possible (I'm sure you know that already). Whatever you do...I would definitely go natural. It's the best decision for my hair I ever made. It's the healthiest it's been EVER.

tamtam7 · April 2010

I agree with Cincy's comments and didn't realize that when you asked about 14 months being enough time to grow out your hair that you were referring to actual length. Well, depending on how fast your hair grows, it may be shoulder lenghth. My hair grew fast when it was short. I couldn't believe it. It's kinda at a stand still now. I cut my hair off about as short as Florida Evans on Good Times and within months it grew to a Thelma 'fro. It's about shoulder length now.

You mentioned that your FI may not like it. It's funny how men react to hair. I think that a man making a big deal about a woman's hair is funny to me anyways. But I received a variety of responses when I first started wearing my hair natural. Some liked it some didn't. My FI can care less about my hair. As long as I don't complain he's happy. He said that he does like the natural hairstyles more though. I think that if you wear your hair with confidence he's going to love it because you love it.

missrekaeagle · April 2010

My hair grows pretty fast. I kept it cut short for like 2 years and it grew back faster than I expected. I just don't wanna cut my hair all off again because my face is fatter now and I don't think that would be a good look on me.

Is there a good way to go natural without cutting off a majority of your hair at once?

1TriniDiva · April 2010

If you don't mind wearing braids that might help with the transition.

sdstephens2010 · April 2010

I am a natural knottie and my hair will be in micro twists for the wedding. The best way, IMO, to transition is with braids. You will want to handle your hair as less as possible. A site that really helped me out was www.fotki.com. In the keyword search, type in words like nappy, kinky, etc and you will have tons of profiles to preview. These ladies document their journeys, show their hairstyles, review products and etc. You can even create a profile and get tons of support too. The transition time is dependent upon the length you will feel comfortable with when wearing it out for the 1st time. I transitioned for 9 months and my hair was short when I finally wore it out...but it has grown very fast. You can also transition with sew-ins and wigs too.

rands09 · April 2010

Hi! I am also a natural knottie, and on my wedding day I will be wearing a super short, naturally curly "teeny weeny afro"...really, I may have a half inch of hair, and I love it. Since most pictures of natural brides involve twists, dreads or braids, I found it hard to locate natural bridal styles for those of us who just choose to wear our hair naturally curly, without heat or anything else.

I think you FI will get used to it and love it once you begin to wear your natural style. I love that I don't have to "alter" my hair to style or manage it. Another plus? No hairstylist bill for my wedding! My barber will clean up my nape for $12 bucks :-)

NeColeMonet · April 2010

I know you said your fiance isn't fond of curly styles but getting straw sets is a good way of transitioning as well. Since you said your hair was thin I would be weary of transitioning with mircrobraids. When I was transitioning the mircrobraids were a beast on my edges because my hair was thin. However now that I'm completely natural it's not so bad on my hair...How does your hair tend to do now in braids (if you've ever had them). I'm going to get some bra strap length kinky twists and do THIS to my hair for the wedding..

tamtam7 · April 2010

I transitioned with braids for about a month and then I just chopped it all off. I couldn't take it anymore. I do like the straw set idea though.

missrekaeagle · April 2010

I don't wear braids because I'm tenderheaded. So micros were out of the question anyway. A straw set doesn't sound too bad though.

tamtam7 · April 2010

Oh! I also wanted to agree with Cincy on the products she named. In addition, I would say have to say that I really love Trader Joe's Tingling Tea Tree shampoo and conditioner. I can't remember where you live in NC but they have a Trader Joe in Chapel Hill, Charlotte, and Raleigh.

eagles347 · April 2010

I'm transitioning now and I appreciate you posting this question because all of this information is right on time for me too. I am transitioning with sew-ins mainly, but I got braids a month ago and will keep them for a couple more weeks before I go back to sew-ins since I like how natural my stylist makes them look.

I transitioned successfully before with sew-ins and braids and my hair grew so fast...once healthy and at a good length, I broke down and relaxed it because I wasn't aware of all the natural styling options and the stylist that I went to at that point was no help. Needless to say, over-processing (by a "professional") led to my hair falling out in my hands and a whole bunch of tears and stress for me. I totally agree that your natural hair will be healthier, thicker, etc. after you complete your transition. Good luck with it...keep me posted on your journey please!

Rhoyal_1 · April 2010

I too am a natural Knottie! I have been wearing my hair natural for about the past 8-10 years. I have had my hair shoulder length and rocked it closely cut for 4 years. I have been allowing it to grow since December and have nice length now.

I agree with trying wetsets, braids, and twists as you grow out your relaxer. As far as products, I use Etae Carmel (all natural, made with honey, bananas, molasses, olive oil) once a week. I am currently wearing my straight (blow dried and curled once a week). I will try and post pics of my hair as it has grown the past few months.

Good luck and enjoy the transition...I absolutely love my hair natural.

Going Natural

Re: Going Natural

Choose Another Board

Search Boards