Helping out a pregnant BM?

strawberrybee9 · December 2014

I found out recently that one of my closest friends is going to be a mom next summer! We are all SUPER excited. She's going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding, and by that point, she'll be about 7.5 months along. I know she might be feeling a little self-conscious about being a pregnant BM (although honestly I'm really excited that we'll have the wedding photos to look back on and remember this time in her life). (Well, my and FI's, too, but you know what I mean... I like parallels, as in, we're taking one step, she and her H are taking another, you know).

I'm just mainly looking for advice on how I can be helpful for her, like maybe having a chair where the BMs would be standing during the ceremony, so she can sit if she wants to. Maybe having some non-alcoholic sparkling wine available as well? Any other thoughts/advice?

And has anyone shopped for maternity BM dresses at David's Bridal? Do they have them? She was also considering just buying a regular BM dress a few sizes up and having her mom alter it. Just wondering if anyone has taken either of those routes, and how it worked for you. Thanks!

lunardaydreaming · December 2014

It's really thoughtful of you to consider her condition in that way. Some of the stuff I've read on here is so shocking, what brides expect from their BMs! I think having something non-alcoholic would be nice for her. I've never been pregnant, so I can't say, but just making sure she has a comfortable place to sit, water and access to a quick snack if she needs it. How does she feel about being a BM while she's 7.5 months pregnant? Maybe see where she is with that and go from there as far as accommodating her.

As far as BM dresses, I don't really know so I'm no help there. However, maybe if she picked an empire style, in a big enough size that it wouldn't be TOO tight under the bust, therefore uncomfortable. I know there are a couple of specifically maternity Bill Levkoff designs, I'm sure DB has something!

Here are the Levkoff ones just for an idea: http://www.billlevkoff.com/bridesmaid-dresses/silhouette-maternity/

lyndausvi · December 2014

My BM was 8 months pregnant and my wedding was OOT (3 hour drive for her, plane ride for me). She was high risk too. I told her to take care of herself first. If she could not make the wedding at the last minute. NBD. Unknown to her I would have just driving up to her place the next day to give her the bouquet.

I asked her to find a dress in the same color as the other girls. She picked a dress from the same designer. I saw the dress for the first time on my wedding day.

I asked her to make a "game day decision" if she wanted to walk down the aisle or not. If she wanted to stand with the other ladies (we had a short ceremony) or sit in the front row with my parents. 100% her choice and if she changed her mind walking down the aisle she could.

In the end her doctor okayed for her to come, she walked down the aisle and stood with the girls. She also volunteered to do the reading.

Again it was entirely her choice based on how she felt at that time. It's unlikely she will be able to tell you now how she feels on the day off. Everyday is different for a pregnant woman. But for the most part they are able to do what the other BM's do during a ceremony.

We didn't have a champagne toast, so just like all the other guests she toasted what was in her had. (OT - so many people hate champagne that I find them to be a waste. You can have champagne as an option, but I wouldn't do a specific champagne toast and just let people drink what they want.)

nicole4793 · December 2014

My future SIL was pregnant at my other future SIL's wedding this past summer. She looked so cute in her dress, and she was 8 months pregnant. We got our dresses at David's Bridal, and she ordered up a bunch of sizes. She also got cups sewn into her dress, so she didn't have to worry about a strapless bra. The dresses were strapless and came with little straps, so the bride told her to feel free to get the straps sewn in (not very sturdy with the hooks inside). This link is the dress we all wore (including her). Clicky

As far as the toast goes, I don't think any special arrangements were made. If you wanted to use some sort of sparkling juice, that'd be a really nice gesture. I don't think she'd be upset if you didn't. If your BMs will be standing the entire ceremony, I think it would be really nice of you to have a chair nearby for her. Other than that, I really think you have all of your bases covered. It's refreshing to see a bride excited for her pregnant bridesmaid!

Edited: link didn't work

wrigleyville · December 2014

I agree that a dress with an empire waist will be easiest, as she can probably order it close to her actual size.

I would recommend, however, that they don't do the final fitting until really close to the wedding date, as she'll have no idea what's going to happen in the boob department. For that reason, I'd probably go a couple sizes up, as it's easier to take a dress in than let it out.

You could have a chair for her, or you could keep an entire row reserved for your attendants if you want it to look uniform. (I've seen this done at Catholic Masses, as they're usually pretty long.)

While I was Googling examples, I found this, which is a really awesome idea. You could keep your attendants up there with you while letting them sit down:

The sparkling wine is a good idea. Other guests might partake of it as well. I usually switch to sparkling wine once I've had enough to drink. We have it every Christmas since my mom can't mix alcohol with her medication. I particularly like the white grape variety.

Lauderdale Pink · December 2014

My daughter was about 7.5 months at my son's wedding. The bride chose the dresses that can be tied or wrapped in a million ways. Because it had so so so many layers, our seamstress was able to let out the gown (ordered about 2 sizes too big) without any trouble just by eliminating one layer and using it to open the sides. At this wedding, all of the bridal party sat in the first row, parents under the chuppah with the couple. However, my daughter did say that she would not have felt uncomfortable to be the only one seated in the first row if everybody else had been standing (but needed to make sure a seat was reserved). As for alcohol, it was just like any other party, my daughter drank water.

On another note, cheers to you for being such a considerate bride and an amazing friend. You deserve all the best life has to offer. I wish you a wonderful wedding and a fantastic life.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

Having your bridal party seated is a great idea! We did this at our wedding because my DH wanted to be able to look directly at me from a seated position instead of having me look up at him from my wheelchair. We did the same for all our bridal party and it worked out great. (See pic)

flutteringinfl · December 2014

cajitasazules said:

Having your bridal party seated is a great idea! We did this at our wedding because my DH wanted to be able to look directly at me from a seated position instead of having me look up at him from my wheelchair. We did the same for all our bridal party and it worked out great. (See pic)

I know a girl who did this as well (he H is in a wheelchair). Their ceremony looked lovely.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

In case your friend doesn't want to be lower then the rest of the BM if she needs to sit, consider having a simple bar stool, it would keep her closer in height to the other girls then. One of my BM doesn't drink at all so I had the reception venue change her glass from Champagne to Ginger Ale (which she enjoys drinking). It made her more comfortable because she was drinking something she enjoyed, but she didn't feel like she stood out since it looked like Champagne (her words). I love that you are going into this excited for her and trying to think of all the different ways to make her comfortable.

jacobsmawedding15 · December 2014

One of my BMs is having her first child 3 weeks before the wedding. They'd been trying for over a year so I am SO happy for her. I think the most important thing is to always remember that this baby is just as important to her as your wedding is to you. It seems like you've got that attitude already but don't forget it. If she's sad about not being able to attend or help as much with the bachelorette party, encourage her to take a large role in planning the shower. My pregnant BM is actually heading up the bridal shower and I'm helping out with her baby shower which will be just a couple weeks later. Also, I'm having a second bachelorette party that will be low-key, small, and will just be us girls doing facials, nails, and watching movies. That way both she and my FI's sister, who's a minor can take part in the celebrating. As for dresses, have you looked at Alfred Angelo? They aren't much more expensive than David's. Mine were $141. They have maternity options.

ambiguousbride · December 2014

I was 8.5 months pregnant at my sisters wedding and then 5 weeks postpartum at my mother's second wedding. They chose the same dress for the bridesmaids from david's bridal it was an chiffon dress, it is on sale right now for 119.00 and it fit me fine for both weddings. I did have a cardigan that I wore after the ceremony and pictures. The seat is a good option, she will probably turn it down but do it anyway if the ceremony will be more than 30 minutes.

www.davidsbridal.com//ProductDisplay?urlRequestType=Base&catalogId=10051&categoryId=3002615&productId=10275464&errorViewName=ProductDisplayErrorView&urlLangId=-1&langId=-1&top_category=-49998976&parent_category_rn=-49998976&storeId=10052

strawberrybee9 · December 2014

Thanks, everyone, so much for your feedback.

nicole4793 -- Awesome, that is the exact dress she's thinking about getting!

Lauderdale Pink -- You are so sweet; thank you!!

Helping out a pregnant BM?

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