Community› Local Wedding Boards› Nevada-Las Vegas
Nevada-Las Vegas
New Discussion
Options

Slightly Annoyed!

hmgifforhmgiffor member
First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Nevada-Las Vegas
So our RSVP rate has been much lower than we anticipated (despite inviting more than I think we should have). I know we have a little under a month left until they are due but....I'm still annoyed. I have a "C" list and am wondering if I should start inviting these folks as we would love to have them. We are currently contracted for 55 people, invited 90 and 36 "yes" and 11 "no." Stupid RSVPs!!! 

Thoughts? 
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Slightly Annoyed!

  • Options
    aggiespartanaggiespartan member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    It took forever to get ours in too.  Some people didn't even send them.  A lot of people sent them last minute.  We invited about 60 and only ended up with 22 yes - and some of the yeses didn't even send in their RSVPs.  We had to call them.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    nyhollydaynyhollyday member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I would give them a call first and see if they are coming or not. Or at least if they have an idea of what they are doing.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    RosebubblyRosebubbly member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We ended up around 35 coming with 80 invited. Some of those ppl though we knew would never come. Anyway...
    Since you're wedding is April (I think)...you still have time to invite more people to take the place of the no's. But don't let them know they were c. :smile:
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    hmgifforhmgiffor member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @rosebubbly that's my dilemma. How do I invite them without them knowing they weren't on the main list since the RSVP data listed on the invites is January 11th?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    aggiespartanaggiespartan member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    Maybe just give them an invite without an RSVP and check up on them.  Unless the RSVP stuff is on the actual invite.   Then I have no clue.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    tcnobletcnoble member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    You really shouldn't "b" or "c" list anyone. It's pretty rude and imagine how they would feel if they knew they were invited only because others declined?

    Use the extra money you'll have from the declines to upgrade things in your food/bev packages if possible, or look in to adding some other touches to your event that you wouldn't have been able to because of a higher RSVP rate. Really amp it up for the guests you do have, instead of trying to fill in your declines.

    You also sent your invites and set your RSVP date REALLY early. Some people might be struggling because they don't know that far out - it is only December, for an April wedding some people don't know what their availability may be. Typically you'd ask for RSVPs in March for an April wedding. Be patient with your guests, and once the date has passed get on the phone with those that haven't yet replied and see where they're at. Maybe they just need some more time to figure out their plans. Plus with the holidays, people tend to be forgetful.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MeridianLVMeridianLV member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    A round of "Reminder-to-RSVPs!" 


    Report Reply
  • Options
    hmgifforhmgiffor member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    We had to "b" and "c" list people otherwise we would have a 300 person wedding. We had to prioritize who we HAD to invite (family) and who we wanted to invite (lots of friends and co-workers). We aren't trying to be rude, just realistic with our budget. 

    I will wait until the date passes and do a "reminder to RSVP" after New Year's. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    nyhollydaynyhollyday member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    @tcnoble makes a valid point..early RSVP date. People are prob consumed with all the holidays coming up. That is where their money and thoughts went. Call people and find out after the New Year. People may want to go but need to recoup their money or something.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    vegasgroomvegasgroom mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    We got 40% of our rsvp's back in the first two weeks, and 40% in the final week before due date.  10% in the middle, 10% I had to place a phone call to and most of the ones that needed a call were coming and had forgot.  Hopefully you marked your cards with a code of some sort because people also love to not take the time to write their names on the rsvp cards.  We had at least six or seven I had to identify via the code I put on the backs.

    I'm not a fan of b-lists unless it is done in a way where there is no possible way anyone on that list would ever find out they had been on that list.  i.e. something like co-workers who are not friends with any of your own friends and family, and none are invited until the entire list can be invited at the same time.  I've been on a b-list before, it doesn't feel good.  How do I know?  A friend invites us to their wedding via the invitation, two weeks until rsvp date, and a mutual friend had a save the date for the same wedding on their fridge for months prior and had received their invite about six weeks earlier because we had then spoken about it.  At the time, I did not care that we hadn't been invited, it was more of an insult to invite us later; i.e. hey someone I actually wanted at my wedding cancelled, you can fill in now.

    I don't really go on rants about b lists like some do in the etiquette group, I just know I didn't like the feeling I got from being on one.  We chose to cut some family in favor of friends for our invites; I don't let family drama get to me so telling the aunts and uncles that sorry your kids that I last saw 20 years ago are not invited to my wedding in place of friends I see all the time was not a big deal for me.  No one declined in protest.  Couple cousins have been married since and I didn't get an invite, so it saved me money on travel lol.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


    Report Reply
  • Options
    hmgifforhmgiffor member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    You all make good points. I think I am going to just use the extra money to hopefully do the meet and greet at Platinum and upgrade. I think it will be easier and will make sure I don't hurt anyone's feelings. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    amelishaamelisha member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeah, I'm with @vegasgroom and @tcnoble on the b and c listing. It can be incredibly hurtful and there are many, many ways to avoid it.

    I'm also not sure why you are asking for RSVPs so early - surely your venue/vendors don't require them for a couple months yet? If you've done it so you have enough time to invite your b-list, that really is bad form for all the reasons listed. If venue minimum is an issue, you need to contact them and make the appropriate changes, rather than inviting people who weren't important enough to you to invite originally. I understand your reasoning but it really is not a good thing to do. A smaller wedding and no hurt feelings (or people invited just to fill seats) is the much politer way to go.

    Destination weddings in general are hard with RSVPs, especially if a flight is involved. Some people may want to come but aren't sure if they can make a vacation work (due to time off or finances or whatever else) and may be waiting on seat sales etc., to make a travel booking. Those people might not have RSVPed because it's not a guaranteed go for them yet and that is understandable.

    The appropriate thing to do is to call everyone who hasn't RSVPed yet (AFTER your deadline, not before...they have until the deadline anyway) and check with them (in a friendly, no-pressure kind of way.) Then, if you need to find a smaller venue with a lower minimum, you have plenty of time to do so.


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    tcnobletcnoble member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    hmgiffor said:
    You all make good points. I think I am going to just use the extra money to hopefully do the meet and greet at Platinum and upgrade. I think it will be easier and will make sure I don't hurt anyone's feelings. 
    That's a great plan! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards