Kinda Sorta Destination wedding Etiquette

Re: Kinda Sorta Destination wedding Etiquette

• saric83 member

  

  December 2014

  I think what you have planned is definitely adequate!  No one would expect all of those things. 

  
  

  In terms of the save-the-dates, when people have to travel, I think the earlier, the better, but six to eight months is totally fine.  

  
  

  For plus ones, etiquette is that anyone in a relationship (not necessarily just what you deem long-term) is invited with SO.  For those without a SO, it's certainly not required, but I think it is very much appreciated for anyone to get a plus one if they're traveling.  Plus, keep in mind that some folks might begin a relationship between the timing of your STD's and the invites going out.  

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• esstee33 member

  

  December 2014

  ambiguousbride said:

  My fiance and I are having our wedding in the Capital district of NY which is over four hours from us, 3-7 hours for most of my NY based family and much greater distances for most of his family. Generally speaking how far constitutes a destination wedding? Have we entered into that realm? My FMIL has expressed that when hosting a destination wedding the guests will expect a welcome dinner, welcome bag, breakfast the morning of the wedding, as well as allowing everyone invited to bring a date and a few other things. We had planned on doing the welcome bags but not a welcome dinner or day of breakfast, we are however having a rehearsal dinner consisting of the wedding party, their dates and our immediate family then the following day we are hosting a brunch for any of the overnight guests. I would not want to offend any of our guests if this is common practice, but that was not something we had originally budgeted for. Not to mention the fact that the guest list has almost doubled to include people we do not know but apparently have to be invited. As far as dates went we were doing it on a case by case basis (Siblings of course could bring dates, people living with someone, and anyone in a long term relationship)
  
  Also my FMIL swears that save the dates go out a year in advance maybe more for destination weddings, I thought 6-8 months was more the norm.
  
  I would appreciate feedback...
  
  Thanks
  

  
  

  I would consider it a destination wedding. Also, what people expect and what you're required to provide for them are not always the same thing. I think you're fine hosting what you have planned. 

  
  

  As for "dates," you're required to invite the SO of any guest that has one, regardless of the length of relationship or whether they're cohabitating/engaged/married/whatever. It's not your place to draw a line in the sand to determine which relationships are serious enough to invite their SO and which aren't, and you stand to make quite a few enemies of your friends by judging their relationship status. My FI and I were very serious pretty much immediately. Had someone invited me to a wedding and not him, even when we had only been together a month, he would've been very hurt, and vice versa. If your guest considers themselves to be in a relationship, that person needs to be invited (by name, not just "and guest!"). 

  
  

  I think you're OK with 6-8 months for STDs, but I'm definitely no expert on that. 

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  December 2014

  If you and most of your guests are travelling, I'd call it a DW.  I don't think anything is expected at a DW over a regular wedding, however if I pay to go to your wedding and it's cake/punch, I'd be a little miffed.  

  Any SO's of guests need to be invited.  Not just those in long term relationships.  What do you define as long term??  How do you define if they're serious??   It's also a nice courtesy to extend a guest to everyone just cos many people don't like to travel alone.  I feel that if they're paying to go see you, offering them a friend if they're single is just nicer for them.  

  
  

  STD's can go out a year in advance.  We did ours just over a year out cos we did want to give people the time to save up.  We sent out invites about 10 weeks out, mainly cos we had many going overseas and needed the extra mail time.  We never even received replies from those sent to Chile.  We just got e-mailed replies.  

  
  

  Why are you having to invite people you don't know??  Who is paying for your wedding??

  
  

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