Wedding 911

HELP!!!!!! My friend and I have booked the same venue. (XP)

msbangor03msbangor03 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited September 2014 in Wedding 911

So here I am horribly torn. I have been engaged since may of 2014. I have been spending all this time looking for venues that fit my idea and our budget. I have looked at 3 different venues in the area we want our wedding but still did not book one due to them not being what I wanted I  was coming down to the wire too because things are booking up fast.One of my bridesmaids got engaged 2 weeks ago. She is also planning a barn wedding like me. She told me that she is already looking at venues and one of them was in the area I was searching, that for whatever reasons I did not come across. I went and looked at the venue too and absolutely fell in love with it. I called and spoke with her about looking at it and loving it and that they still had open dates so we had to change from august 8th 2015 to September 19th 2015. She informed me that they had just booked it that day!!!!.

    I asked her if she would be upset if I booked it too. (I had 2 days left to turn in my deposit) She told me she would not because we share no mutual friends or family that would attend our weddings. I am supposed to take the deposit today and she has now just sent me a message that her and her fiancée spoke last night and they feel that they want their day to be special and they think that being at ours 2 weeks before that will take away from their special day!

   She wont return my calls, and im supposed to take the deposit today to save the date!!!!! Am I wrong for booking the same place? Should I let her have her day and search somewhere else? I just don't know what I should do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: HELP!!!!!! My friend and I have booked the same venue. (XP)

  • Straight up agree with flantastic.  I know for a fact that my venue wasn't a virgin when we got married there.  I have since seen other wedding pictures taken at that venue (and I've been to a wedding there as well).  You're totally fine, and your friend will need to just get over it.

    Also, I don't see what difference it makes that you have 3 kids and a full time job and your bridesmaid doesn't.  That doesn't entitle you to anything.
  • I think you should book it and let her get over it. It sounds like there may not be a lot of venues in your area. Venues exist to host events and each wedding is special because of the couple and the guests present. Plus, barns are raw space. I'm sure you two will decorate it completely differently. It'll be fine! One fellow Knottie got married at my venue a couple months before I did. Did I think less of my wedding because I'd seen some of her pictures on these boards? Of course not.
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  • I asked her if it was okay when I found out that she booked it 2 days before I had to turn in my deposit.

  • Book the venue. This girl and her FI will just need to get the heck over it.

  • Your friend is being really silly.  Her DAY will still be special, and a day that's happening two weeks apart has no bearing on that.  Book it!




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  • Is this a real thing to be worried about? I mean my friends who are engaged/married have been reccomending venues to me and we're discussing what we like/don't like about certain ones. No one is considered someone else is going to book their venue. It'll probably happen, sure...and so what?

    What exactly is gonna happen at your wedding that will render the place unusable for her's?
  • I think it's childish to call dibs on a venue.

    If you love it, book it.

    BUT, emotionally prepare yourself for her to not be a bridesmaid anymore.  If I had to guess, that's what you'll be posting on here asking for advice about next.
  • If I choose my venue off of picking a place that has never been used for a wedding before in my area...I would probably be using my back yard. I probably picked a very common venue(popular country club) for my area just becuase it is beautiful and I got a discount there since my FI's grand parents are member there.

    She really needs to get over it and she is childish by "calling dibs" on a venue. Her day will be special but that is also it. It is a day. Just because a bride is getting married at the same venue 2 weeks later does not make her day any less special. If it was the same days as hers then yeah I would see that. I have went to the same wedding venue 3 times in 5 months for weddings here recently just because there are few venues in the area.

  • I don't understand why you asked her if it would be ok to book it? Had you not asked this, there would have been zero issue. Now that you asked for her opinion, you have it and don't like it. What was the point of asking for it if you don't take it seriously? For the record, you are not wrong for wanting or booking the same space, it just wasn't the best idea to get her opinion and then go against it.
  • Honestly, if she's not calling you back she loses the right to be upset.  You had to make a call about it.  I would have booked it hands down.  She gave you permission and I would have personally just told her I already put the money down.  I don't like doing that but here I would.  It's crazy to ask someone not to book a venue just because you did.  If you had friends and family that overlapped then I would 100% understand.  But since you don't then I don't see it.  I mean I wouldn't want everyone to be wowed and excited over my friends wedding and then a few weeks later not have that same moment because they'd already seen it but that's not an issue here.
  • just book it. she is being childish. I never shared much about our planning because we did want our venue to be a surprise (old boat factory turned into a yacht club resort type thing).
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  • You get one day and your friend gets one day.  She is being horribly petty to ignore you like that, but it's not like you picked the same day!

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