Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Registry and Gift Forum
Registry and Gift Forum
New Discussion
Options

Posting registry on Facebook?

amazingasianamazingasian member
First Comment 5 Love Its
edited December 2014 in Registry and Gift Forum
I recently saw another bride to be post the links to her registry on her Facebook.
Is that an appropriate thing to do?
Many of my friends on my Facebook will not be attending the wedding, and I'm not sure if anyone will get the wrong idea, thinking that they are invited.
Although, much of my out of state family is on my Facebook.
If not, how else should I spread word of the registry? We have cards listing the wedding website and registry site to include in our invites, but those won't be mailed until 8 weeks before the wedding. Emailing over 100 people would prove quite the task..

EDIT: I'm learning from other sources that it's generally considered tacky, and I'm glad I'm not the only one to think so. My Fiance and I are already uncomfortable with the idea of registering but have been asked to do so by family. What is one way that I can get the information out to our guests, sooner than the invites? We will most likely not be having a shower.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Posting registry on Facebook?

  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Don't ever say anything to anyone about your registry UNLESS THEY ASK.  In the age of computers, people know how to find your registry.  Sometimes I'll just randomly google a friend who I know is getting married just so I can decide if I want to buy them something off their registry.  And please, please, please don't put registry information in with your invitations.  That is incredibly rude and seems like you're fishing for gifts.  Nobody is required to buy you a gift.  And if someone chooses to buy you a gift, they can choose whether or not to buy you something  off your registry.  When you DO get gifts, whether they're the awesome kitchenaid mixer you've wanted forever, or a lame candle in a scent you hate, make sure you send Thank You notes immediately.

    And I think it goes without saying that you shouldn't post anything about your wedding on facebook.  You think it's tacky because it IS tacky.  Congrats for knowing that.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    amazingasian said:
    I recently saw another bride to be post the links to her registry on her Facebook.
    Is that an appropriate thing to do?
    Many of my friends on my Facebook will not be attending the wedding, and I'm not sure if anyone will get the wrong idea, thinking that they are invited.
    Although, much of my out of state family is on my Facebook.
    If not, how else should I spread word of the registry? We have cards listing the wedding website and registry site to include in our invites, but those won't be mailed until 8 weeks before the wedding. Emailing over 100 people would prove quite the task..

    EDIT: I'm learning from other sources that it's generally considered tacky, and I'm glad I'm not the only one to think so. My Fiance and I are already uncomfortable with the idea of registering but have been asked to do so by family. What is one way that I can get the information out to our guests, sooner than the invites? We will most likely not be having a shower.
    A shower is the only invitation where it is acceptable to include registry information since the point of the event is to "shower" the bride with gifts.  If you do not think you will be having a shower, the most discreet and appropriate way to share registry information is by word of mouth.  Let your key relatives, such as parents of the bride and groom, know where you will be registering.  Many invited friends and family will ask them if they have any interest in making a gift purchase from a registry.  IF members of your bridal party ask, it would be OK to tell them as well.  If someone asks you directly, you can also share the information. 

    If you create a wedding website, you can offer links to registry information there as well.

    As @adk19 has said, it is in very poor taste to include registry information in wedding invitations.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    amazingasian said:
    I recently saw another bride to be post the links to her registry on her Facebook.
    Is that an appropriate thing to do?
    Many of my friends on my Facebook will not be attending the wedding, and I'm not sure if anyone will get the wrong idea, thinking that they are invited.
    Although, much of my out of state family is on my Facebook.
    If not, how else should I spread word of the registry? We have cards listing the wedding website and registry site to include in our invites, but those won't be mailed until 8 weeks before the wedding. Emailing over 100 people would prove quite the task..

    EDIT: I'm learning from other sources that it's generally considered tacky, and I'm glad I'm not the only one to think so. My Fiance and I are already uncomfortable with the idea of registering but have been asked to do so by family. What is one way that I can get the information out to our guests, sooner than the invites? We will most likely not be having a shower.
    You should never be advertizing your registry without being asked.  You definitely do not put anything about gifts, including registry information, in invitations.  It's not just tacky, it's rude and implies that you are expecting gifts.  You should also not post anything about your registry on Facebook.  The only time it is appropriate to mention registries is when you're asked, or in a shower invitation (since a shower is, by definition, a gift-giving event).  You may put something on your wedding website about your registry, but it shouldn't be on the main page - that way people who want the information have to seek it out by clicking on a tab marked "registry".  It's easy to find registries, and anyone who's too lazy or non-internet savvy to look online will inquire.



    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    No! Posting your registry on Facebook is so freaking tacky! 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Do not post your registry on facebook.  It's incredibly tacky and gift-grabby.

    Do not include registry inserts with your invites.  It is also tacky and gift grabby as no one is required to give a gift and as you are supposed to be inviting them to celebrate and witness your union.

    If someone asks, of course you can say, "We are registered at X."  It is also appropriate to include registry information on any shower invites (though of course you will not be making those since you can't throw yourself a shower).

    It gets confusing when stores push bad etiquette because they want to make more money.  That's what BB&B did when they gave you all of those inserts to include.  They don't care about how you treat your friends and family.  They just want the money. 


    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    amazingasian said:
    Thank you for the tips! We had registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, and they had included the registry cards for free, and we had thought they were meant to go into the invitations! I'm glad someone told me otherwise, as my fiance and I already felt bad about asking people for gifts. Unfortunately, my mother in law has been pressing this issue. My fiance and I have never been to a wedding, so it's making it quite difficult. 
    We will be putting it on a tab in our wedding website, and including the website on our invitations. Nothing more. 
    Thanks again!
     
    -----
     
    BBB doesnt care about etiquette, they care about sales. Toss those inserts in the trash.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Wegl13Wegl13 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Target does that too. They also sent ME these 10% off coupons for people to use for my registry. Um.... how am I supposed to give that to someone in a classy way? "Here you go thought you might want me to buy a gift AND I thought you might be a cheapskate." What? No.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    fwtx5815fwtx5815 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    KatWAG said:


    amazingasian said:

    Thank you for the tips! We had registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, and they had included the registry cards for free, and we had thought they were meant to go into the invitations! I'm glad someone told me otherwise, as my fiance and I already felt bad about asking people for gifts. Unfortunately, my mother in law has been pressing this issue. My fiance and I have never been to a wedding, so it's making it quite difficult. 
    We will be putting it on a tab in our wedding website, and including the website on our invitations. Nothing more. 

    Thanks again!

     

    -----

     

    BBB doesnt care about etiquette, they care about sales. Toss those inserts in the trash.
    They gave us those too and I rolled my eyes SO HARD when I saw them! Threw them straight in the trash.

    ----


     fka dallasbetch 


    image


    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    Report Reply
  • Options
    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Stores don't give a damn about etiquette.  And personally, even though it's okay to have registry info with a shower invite, I HATE when those little cards are included. I'd much prefer it nicely listing "So & So is registered at BB&B" on the invite instead of the cards that come flying out of the envelope like it's freaking confetti. :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Knottie31257313Knottie31257313 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    You know, I;m going to have to go against the crowd on this one: I don't think it's so bad to post your registry on Facebook- in the proper etiquette of course. I am having a large wedding, about 500 people, and I have already been barraged with questions about my registry. My fiance and I are each only having a maid of honor and best man, no bridal party or grommsmen, so we don't exactly have a ton of people to spread word of mouth. I'd post it with something like "for those who have been asking, here are the links to our registry". If it was me, I'd never be offended to see something like that if it was worded politely. I'd rather have a direct link to and know where a couple is registered, especially if i'm not friends with anyone in the bridal party or the bride/groom's family. Etiquette is constantly changing, especially in the world of social media. Just think about your guests, and how likely THEY are to be offended. Mostly young people? No problem. More of an older, old fashioned crowd? Maybe you shouldn't. In the end, this is something that's different in every situation!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Knottie31257313 said:
    You know, I;m going to have to go against the crowd on this one: I don't think it's so bad to post your registry on Facebook- in the proper etiquette of course. I am having a large wedding, about 500 people, and I have already been barraged with questions about my registry. My fiance and I are each only having a maid of honor and best man, no bridal party or grommsmen, so we don't exactly have a ton of people to spread word of mouth. I'd post it with something like "for those who have been asking, here are the links to our registry". If it was me, I'd never be offended to see something like that if it was worded politely. I'd rather have a direct link to and know where a couple is registered, especially if i'm not friends with anyone in the bridal party or the bride/groom's family. Etiquette is constantly changing, especially in the world of social media. Just think about your guests, and how likely THEY are to be offended. Mostly young people? No problem. More of an older, old fashioned crowd? Maybe you shouldn't. In the end, this is something that's different in every situation!
    Oh Lord no.  This is so gift grabby and puts the focus not on your marriage but onto the gift giving aspect of the wedding. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie31257313 said:

    You know, I;m going to have to go against the crowd on this one: I don't think it's so bad to post your registry on Facebook- in the proper etiquette of course. I am having a large wedding, about 500 people, and I have already been barraged with questions about my registry. My fiance and I are each only having a maid of honor and best man, no bridal party or grommsmen, so we don't exactly have a ton of people to spread word of mouth. I'd post it with something like "for those who have been asking, here are the links to our registry". If it was me, I'd never be offended to see something like that if it was worded politely. I'd rather have a direct link to and know where a couple is registered, especially if i'm not friends with anyone in the bridal party or the bride/groom's family. Etiquette is constantly changing, especially in the world of social media. Just think about your guests, and how likely THEY are to be offended. Mostly young people? No problem. More of an older, old fashioned crowd? Maybe you shouldn't. In the end, this is something that's different in every situation!

    Nonononononononononononono!
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie31257313 said:

    You know, I;m going to have to go against the crowd on this one: I don't think it's so bad to post your registry on Facebook- in the proper etiquette of course. I am having a large wedding, about 500 people, and I have already been barraged with questions about my registry. My fiance and I are each only having a maid of honor and best man, no bridal party or grommsmen, so we don't exactly have a ton of people to spread word of mouth. I'd post it with something like "for those who have been asking, here are the links to our registry". If it was me, I'd never be offended to see something like that if it was worded politely. I'd rather have a direct link to and know where a couple is registered, especially if i'm not friends with anyone in the bridal party or the bride/groom's family. Etiquette is constantly changing, especially in the world of social media. Just think about your guests, and how likely THEY are to be offended. Mostly young people? No problem. More of an older, old fashioned crowd? Maybe you shouldn't. In the end, this is something that's different in every situation!

    What's not different in every situation? Proper etiquette. Don't use social media as a farce to hide behind for poor etiquette.

    Do not do this. Your registry belongs in a link on your wedding website (which you also should NOT post on social media) or on an invite to your shower. That's it. Unless someone asks you directly, you shouldnt advertise where you're registered.

    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie31257313 said:
    You know, I;m going to have to go against the crowd on this one: I don't think it's so bad to post your registry on Facebook- in the proper etiquette of course. I am having a large wedding, about 500 people, and I have already been barraged with questions about my registry. My fiance and I are each only having a maid of honor and best man, no bridal party or grommsmen, so we don't exactly have a ton of people to spread word of mouth. I'd post it with something like "for those who have been asking, here are the links to our registry". If it was me, I'd never be offended to see something like that if it was worded politely. I'd rather have a direct link to and know where a couple is registered, especially if i'm not friends with anyone in the bridal party or the bride/groom's family. Etiquette is constantly changing, especially in the world of social media. Just think about your guests, and how likely THEY are to be offended. Mostly young people? No problem. More of an older, old fashioned crowd? Maybe you shouldn't. In the end, this is something that's different in every situation!
    If telling guests where you are registered is too taxing, don't register. You do realise this is about receiving gifts. Is a 2 minute response to a text or email really THAT hard? I know plenty of young, tech-obsessed people that find this behaviour abhorrent. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn't do it in real life, don't do it online. At a gathering of your friends would you stand up and announce "Just in case you wanted to know we are registered at XYZ" without being prompted???
    Report Reply
  • Options
    photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie31257313 said:
    You know, I;m going to have to go against the crowd on this one: I don't think it's so bad to post your registry on Facebook- in the proper etiquette of course. I am having a large wedding, about 500 people, and I have already been barraged with questions about my registry. My fiance and I are each only having a maid of honor and best man, no bridal party or grommsmen, so we don't exactly have a ton of people to spread word of mouth. I'd post it with something like "for those who have been asking, here are the links to our registry". If it was me, I'd never be offended to see something like that if it was worded politely. I'd rather have a direct link to and know where a couple is registered, especially if i'm not friends with anyone in the bridal party or the bride/groom's family. Etiquette is constantly changing, especially in the world of social media. Just think about your guests, and how likely THEY are to be offended. Mostly young people? No problem. More of an older, old fashioned crowd? Maybe you shouldn't. In the end, this is something that's different in every situation!
    I find it shocking that you think that your guests that are on social media wouldn't have the basic and common sense to google your wedding registry if they want to find it. Barraged?? How many people have asked 3? Probably aunts who aren't even on Facebook.

    Not to mention how rude it is to share this info with your Facebook friends who are not invited to your wedding.

    Etiquette is not constantly changing. People's opinion of what should be proper etiquette changes, etiquette itself RARELY does.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Report Reply
  • Options
    ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Knottie31257313 said:
    You know, I;m going to have to go against the crowd on this one: I don't think it's so bad to post your registry on Facebook- in the proper etiquette of course. I am having a large wedding, about 500 people, and I have already been barraged with questions about my registry. My fiance and I are each only having a maid of honor and best man, no bridal party or grommsmen, so we don't exactly have a ton of people to spread word of mouth. I'd post it with something like "for those who have been asking, here are the links to our registry". If it was me, I'd never be offended to see something like that if it was worded politely. I'd rather have a direct link to and know where a couple is registered, especially if i'm not friends with anyone in the bridal party or the bride/groom's family. Etiquette is constantly changing, especially in the world of social media. Just think about your guests, and how likely THEY are to be offended. Mostly young people? No problem. More of an older, old fashioned crowd? Maybe you shouldn't. In the end, this is something that's different in every situation!
    Actually, I'm experiencing this right now. An otherwise lovely young woman I used to work with has posted her registry information on Facebook. "10 days till the big day, don't forget we're registered at Target!"
    Her previous mention was almost word for word your suggestion.
    It comes across as sooooo greedy. Really greedy.

    Not to mention, it reminds me that I'm not invited. Not that I personally expected to be, but it's in very bad taste to talk about parties and events in front of people who aren't included. It's shitty. 

    Good etiquette is about respecting other people and making other people as comfortable as possible. 
    That doesn't change with social media. Except that it gives you the opportunity to offend more people more quickly, by ignoring etiquette. 

    Gracious and thoughtful never gets old. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards