Accomodations

shaunadimler · December 2014

My daughter is getting married in july. Her Fiance's family is from Europe. We are from a small community with not very good accommodations. We will be finding a place for his parents and siblings to stay but is it up to us to accommodate everyone else that may be coming from their country or do we just give them a list of hotels in the nearest city (1 hr away)

JoanE2012 · December 2014

Can you find a venue near a hotel? I think an hour away is quite long, especially for someone who is foreign.

mikenberger · December 2014

shaunadimler said:

My daughter is getting married in july. Her Fiance's family is from Europe. We are from a small community with not very good accommodations. We will be finding a place for his parents and siblings to stay but is it up to us to accommodate everyone else that may be coming from their country or do we just give them a list of hotels in the nearest city (1 hr away)

What do you mean "accommodate" them? Find a house for them to stay in or give them a tent for the backyard?

I would think a list of local hotels and their distance to the venue would be appropriate. If they're from Europe though, how will they get to the venue? Will they be driving?

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

shaunadimler said:
My daughter is getting married in july. Her Fiance's family is from Europe. We are from a small community with not very good accommodations. We will be finding a place for his parents and siblings to stay but is it up to us to accommodate everyone else that may be coming from their country or do we just give them a list of hotels in the nearest city (1 hr away)

A room block would be a nice convenience, but it's not required. Guests are responsible for finding/booking their own accommodations. A list of recommendations is fine.

shaunadimler · December 2014

By accommodate I Mean finding a home for them to stay or a travel trailer as the wedding will be on our farm

shaunadimler · December 2014

And regarding travel, I would hope that people would be renting cars at the airport. I would include all of that information as well in the invitations

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

If I traveled around the world for a wedding, I would not want to stay in some stranger's home or a travel trailer on a farm.

mikenberger · December 2014

lolo883 said:

If I traveled around the world for a wedding, I would not want to stay in some stranger's home or a travel trailer on a farm.

Ditto. I would almost guarantee they do not want to stay in a strangers house or a trailer on a farm. Not that there's anything wrong with either of those things and that's very nice of you to consider their accommodations but a list of hotels would suffice.

I don't know if I'd bother with the car rental info either unless your airport/car rental place is different from every other place in this country. Chances are, they've dealt with it before or know somebody who has.

JoanE2012 · December 2014

shaunadimler said:
And regarding travel, I would hope that people would be renting cars at the airport. I would include all of that information as well in the invitations

Some people may not feel comfortable driving in a foreign land. I still think the venue is too far from the hotel given your guest list. Heck, that's too far for me and I feel comfortable driving the roads in the US!

climbingsingle · December 2014

lolo883 said:

If I traveled around the world for a wedding, I would not want to stay in some stranger's home or a travel trailer on a farm.

I agree with this completely.

Sugargirl1019 · December 2014

Hmm. So the closest hotel is an hour away?

PPs say they would not feel comfortable staying in a camper trailer on a farm, but would you feel comfortable driving an hour in a foreign country? On the "other" side of the road most likely? I'm trying to discern which would be more uncomfortable.

If you provide trailers though, I'm seeing this getting VERY expensive. We stayed in a little camper/RV/trailer for a vacation at a family members home once, just parked across the street. It was very lovely and provided me everything I needed.

shaunadimler · December 2014

I agree that a hotel would be the best but the grooms family would be here up to 3 weeks early to help prepare for the wedding. So driving an hour daily to spend time with brides family and do wedding prep would make things a tad more difficult. And seeing they are spending their money to fly here, which is a huge expense in itself, we want to make sure they don't have many costs once they are here. And by 'farm' I don't mean stinky, junky farm with animals.. But a nice well kept yard.

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

shaunadimler said:
I agree that a hotel would be the best but the grooms family would be here up to 3 weeks early to help prepare for the wedding. So driving an hour daily to spend time with brides family and do wedding prep would make things a tad more difficult. And seeing they are spending their money to fly here, which is a huge expense in itself, we want to make sure they don't have many costs once they are here. And by 'farm' I don't mean stinky, junky farm with animals.. But a nice well kept yard.

Sorry, I just think that means having the wedding there was not a very well thought out decision. I don't know what else to tell you.

Is there really NOTHING else within an hour?

JoanE2012 · December 2014

shaunadimler said:
I agree that a hotel would be the best but the grooms family would be here up to 3 weeks early to help prepare for the wedding. So driving an hour daily to spend time with brides family and do wedding prep would make things a tad more difficult. And seeing they are spending their money to fly here, which is a huge expense in itself, we want to make sure they don't have many costs once they are here. And by 'farm' I don't mean stinky, junky farm with animals.. But a nice well kept yard.

I would definitely not want to be in someone's house or on their property for 3 + weeks, not even with my own family!

jenna8984 · December 2014

JoanE2012 said:

And regarding travel, I would hope that people would be renting cars at the airport. I would include all of that information as well in the invitations
Some people may not feel comfortable driving in a foreign land. I still think the venue is too far from the hotel given your guest list. Heck, that's too far for me and I feel comfortable driving the roads in the US!

I agree with this. I do not ever get rental cars in other countries because it just scares me. I'm unfamiliar with their roads, with their signs, even if it's English. If someone told me to stay in London and come to a wedding an hour away in the countryside, I'd be a little nervous.

Sugargirl1019 · December 2014

So technically to answer your original question, no you are not required to provide accommodations for your guests, just a list of hotels. However obviously you care about the comfort of your guests and want to do more. And that's okay.

So what other options are you considering if you don't want your guests driving an hour to your farm each day? (I'm sure you have a perfectly charming farm)

mikenberger · December 2014

lolo883 said:

I agree that a hotel would be the best but the grooms family would be here up to 3 weeks early to help prepare for the wedding. So driving an hour daily to spend time with brides family and do wedding prep would make things a tad more difficult. And seeing they are spending their money to fly here, which is a huge expense in itself, we want to make sure they don't have many costs once they are here. And by 'farm' I don't mean stinky, junky farm with animals.. But a nice well kept yard.
Sorry, I just think that means having the wedding there was not a very well thought out decision. I don't know what else to tell you. Is there really NOTHING else within an hour?

If they're from anywhere like where my FI is from in the NW corner of the state... there is NOTHING within 60mins of his grandparents house as far as a hotel is concerned. It's like no man's land up there with all the farms.

emmaaa · December 2014

I think it is great you are trying to accommodate the groom's family. You should let them know what kind of place you have for them to stay near the venue and tell them about the hotel that is an hour away. The immediate family may choose to stay on the farm leading up to the wedding but staying at the hotel during the wedding. But ultimately you want them to be comfortable and letting them choose where they want to stay, will help them be more comfortable.

I would provide a list of hotel recommendations and maybe offer some type of transportation service if they don't rent cars (if you want to, you are definitely not required to pay for a taxi or shuttle).

yogapants · December 2014

A "stinky, junky farm with animals"? What? I don't think anyone cares about the farm part of this, except that it's highly inconvenient for so many of your guests. 3 weeks of them living in travel trailers on your property sounds horrible for everyone involved. Using your farm as your daughter's wedding venue is not a good idea given the circumstances.

climbingsingle · December 2014

Why are they doing wedding prep for 3 weeks?? What do you have these poor folks doing?

I do agree if they're here for that long, that traveling back and forth 2 hours round trip is not going to be easy. Can you look at Airbnb and VRBO in your town or the next town over?

southernbelle0915 · December 2014

I agree with PPs that its pretty shitty that they'll be traveling from the other side of the world and the wedding is somewhere that doesn't even have a hotel....

What if they rented an entire house? That way, they would have their own space, away from y'all.

shaunadimler · December 2014

Thankyou Sugargirl 1019! And to reply to the comment about not thinking this through very well, we have thought it through very well and our daughter is a farm girl and has always dreamt of a wedding where she grew up.. It wont come without challenges but will be a sweet and memorable day. We will make that happen. Her Fiance's family are wonderful people who will be gracious and excited to be able to be a part of the process and get to know our family better. Those are not concerns of mine at all.. It was mainly about extended family/guests. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't our responsibility to take care of everyone else's accommodations.
I know for some people who aren't from a rural setting a lot of this sounds foreign which I totally get!

novella1186 · December 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

I agree with PPs that its pretty shitty that they'll be traveling from the other side of the world and the wedding is somewhere that doesn't even have a hotel.... What if they rented an entire house? That way, they would have their own space, away from y'all.

This is what I was going to suggest too. I'm currently in a small town in the middle of nowhere (nearest bigger city is an hour in any direction) but there are lots of rental properties. Check around for houses that are for rent and see if you can get one for 3 weeks or a month or whatever works so they're close by but still have their own space. 3 weeks is a very long time to be stuck in a hotel anyway, IMO.

shaunadimler · December 2014

And no we won't be slave driving the grooms family.. They are coming early because they WANT to be a part of the wedding process and because they WANT to spend time with our family getting better acquainted. There will be time for being hosts and doing fun things with them as well.

JoanE2012 · December 2014

shaunadimler said:
Thankyou Sugargirl 1019! And to reply to the comment about not thinking this through very well, we have thought it through very well and our daughter is a farm girl and has always dreamt of a wedding where she grew up.. It wont come without challenges but will be a sweet and memorable day. We will make that happen. Her Fiance's family are wonderful people who will be gracious and excited to be able to be a part of the process and get to know our family better. Those are not concerns of mine at all.. It was mainly about extended family/guests. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't our responsibility to take care of everyone else's accommodations.
I know for some people who aren't from a rural setting a lot of this sounds foreign which I totally get!

No, it's not your job to take care of accommodations, but I would make sure guests comfort came ahead of any "vision". I would never dream of planning a wedding one hour away from the closest hotel for out of town guests. That's not my definition of being a good host.

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

shaunadimler said:
Thankyou Sugargirl 1019! And to reply to the comment about not thinking this through very well, we have thought it through very well and our daughter is a farm girl and has always dreamt of a wedding where she grew up.. It wont come without challenges but will be a sweet and memorable day. We will make that happen. Her Fiance's family are wonderful people who will be gracious and excited to be able to be a part of the process and get to know our family better. Those are not concerns of mine at all.. It was mainly about extended family/guests. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't our responsibility to take care of everyone else's accommodations.
I know for some people who aren't from a rural setting a lot of this sounds foreign which I totally get!

I did grow up in a rural setting. I just still planned my wedding in a place that was convenient to people, and made sacrifices to my "vision" in the name of my guests' comfort.

The extended family and friends are the ones I'm concerned about as well. They likely don't know you well enough to want to stay on your property. They also won't want to fly from around the world to be stuck in the middle of nowhere for several weeks. Maybe they'll make a vacation of it, so you can just provide them the list of hotel suggestions and let them know that the wedding is however many kilometers away so they'll need to rent a car. Maybe they'll decline.

shaunadimler · December 2014

I appreciate all of your comments.. Even though I may not agree with them all.

Accomodations

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