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Brother in wedding party?

coolcellochickcoolcellochick member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Does my future husband have to include my brother in the wedding party? 
I have no problem inviting him to my wedding, but his actions in recent years have turned him into a colossal d-bag, and I don't think that just because he is in my family, that means that I automatically need to include him on anything.
Thanks
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Re: Brother in wedding party?

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2014
    coolcellochick said:
    Does my future husband have to include my brother in the wedding party? 
    I have no problem inviting him to my wedding, but his actions in recent years have turned him into a colossal d-bag, and I don't think that just because he is in my family, that means that I automatically need to include him on anything.
    Thanks

    Not at all. You may have him on your side. He may be just a normal guest. Lots of choices.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Your husband should choose who he wants to stand with him, and you choose who you want to stand with you. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    of course not.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2014
    No. If your FI agrees with you that your brother is a d-bag and/or just doesn't feel like asking him, he need not ask him.
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Nope! Keep the party d-free.
    image
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My brother wasn't in our wedding.




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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    My sister won't be in our wedding, due to her insistence on acting like a demonic bitch. It's not required. You choose the people who mean the very most to you, and blood relations or lack thereof are irrelevant.
    image
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My brothers are awesome, but my H was closer to some other people, so he asked them instead. If I had thought of it early enough that they didn't seem like an afterthought, I probably would have invited them to stand as bridesmen ("attendants" is a better general word for everyone) on my side, because I am that close to them.

    If neither of you are close to him and/or he's a d-bag, then... no.
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