Wedding Etiquette Forum

Travel coordinator

We're getting married about 3 hours north of the city and a major airport.  Some of my friends and relatives are asking me who's driving up when and can I arrange a ride for them.  My instinct is to put them in touch with another person and then let the two parties figure it out on their own.  To what extent should I be helping out arranging rides?  It's starting to stress me out trying to figuring out people's schedules on top of the other wedding stuff I'm doing.

Re: Travel coordinator

  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    They should be figuring this out themselves; this isn't your responsibility.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    "Here's the number of the local car company and these businesses are available for you to rent a car from:"

    And end scene. People are adults, they should behave as such. It's not your duty to arrange rides.

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    levioosa
  • vikinganna87vikinganna87 Live Free or Die member
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    Thanks, @AddieCake @lovegood90 @mikenberger  Makes me feel a lot better.
    mikenbergerlovegood90
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I'm actually pissed off for you on this. I can't believe people are expecting that you would coordinate this for them. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    levioosalc07novella1186Jen4948
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I clicked on this wondering what a Travel Coordinator is. Good news for you is that I still don't think such a thing exists! Let them know that you will not be able to give them a ride personally. If they counter and say "Oh, I figured you couldn't give me a ride but what about your Mom or Aunt or BFF?" Tell them they would need to contact those people directly to coordinate if they would like to try to.
    vikinganna87[Deleted User]
  • AddieCake; I'm pissed off for you. It would never even occur to me to make the bride of the wedding I'm attending arrange such a thing for me. 
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    lavenderfields13vikinganna87
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm with Novella and Addie.  There are only two things I would find acceptable:

    1.  Relative: "Hey VikingAnna, I hope you are doing well!  Do you have any recommendations for a shuttle or taxi service?"

    2. Figuring out who is picking up Grandma (or another elderly or disabled relative) and giving them a ride. 

    But coordinating between grown ass adults who could do it all on their own?  Oh hell no.  They're just being lazy.  Aunt Sally and Cousin Joe can call each other and figure out if they want to carpool or not. 


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    novella1186vikinganna87short+sassy
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    AddieCake said:
    I'm actually pissed off for you on this. I can't believe people are expecting that you would coordinate this for them. 
    This. I'm irritated for you. They can figure it out themselves. 

    We had our wedding at a resort one hour from where we and most of our guests live. I had people asking me the craziest questions, like what traffic would be like all during the weekend. And which people were staying overnight, and if I knew what rooms they were staying in. 



    vikinganna87
  • Yeah, that isn't your responsibility. I'd just point them to a local taxi service, other than that they can figure it out on their own. Don't stress about it.

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    vikinganna87
  • edited December 2014

    One of my friends created a private facebook group for all of her guests.  Basically it was a way for guests to communicate amongst each other to coordinate sharing transportation. It's a place (along with your website if you have one) where you can list the names and phone number of transportation companies & rental care companies. You've have technically created a way for guests to coordinate their transportation and not have you do all the work. If you do have a website for your wedding you can put on there information about the facebook group for those who you may not normally be friends with on facebook. For us it was nice because a lot of the guests coordinated sharing rides to the airport with other guests who lived local to them & shared the extended parking costs. Also it was great for those of us few individuals who were coming alone to meet other single travelers and site see together (the wedding was in Vegas). For the bride it was great because once she set up the page, she didn't get any more questions from the guests.

    vikinganna87short+sassy
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2014
    AddieCake said:

    I'm actually pissed off for you on this. I can't believe people are expecting that you would coordinate this for them. 

    It doesn't surprise me. When people accept wedding invitations, they do have a tendency to automatically assume the couple, or their parents, are their point persons for any questions that they have about the wedding, which of course is the point of listing someone as the host.

    That said, I agree with you that it's outrageous that they expect the OP to act as their travel agent. So either telling them about a website they can use or a person who can help coordinate travel issues is definitely a good idea.
    vikinganna87
  • AddieCake said:
    I'm actually pissed off for you on this. I can't believe people are expecting that you would coordinate this for them. 
    This. I'm irritated for you. They can figure it out themselves. 

    We had our wedding at a resort one hour from where we and most of our guests live. I had people asking me the craziest questions, like what traffic would be like all during the weekend. And which people were staying overnight, and if I knew what rooms they were staying in. 


    Lol!!! Well yeah, doesn't every bride keep a roster of exactly which hotel room each guest is staying in? I mean, why wouldn't you? 

    *sarcasm. 
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    vikinganna87climbingsingle
  • I hear you.  Guests, just like Brides can be very rude, and yes I agree with others that asking you to act as a travel agent is rude, though it might not be intended that way.  Next time someone asks you if you would help them get a ride or any other "out of bounds" request, reply back with a sincere "I really wish I could help but with everything else going on with the wedding... moving.. etc.. I just don't have the time to help.. as for other family / friends... You'll have to speak directly to them, I won't speak for them" Personally if I knew of a common friend or family member that could help I might ask if they've talked to them and if not suggest that they call them, but I would not necessarily connect random wedding guests.  A personal preferece
    vikinganna87
  • AddieCake said:
    I'm actually pissed off for you on this. I can't believe people are expecting that you would coordinate this for them. 
    This. I'm irritated for you. They can figure it out themselves. 

    We had our wedding at a resort one hour from where we and most of our guests live. I had people asking me the craziest questions, like what traffic would be like all during the weekend. And which people were staying overnight, and if I knew what rooms they were staying in. 


    Lol!!! Well yeah, doesn't every bride keep a roster of exactly which hotel room each guest is staying in? I mean, why wouldn't you? 

    *sarcasm. 

    Sigh. I attended a destination wedding where the bride hounded everyone for their preferred contact info and itineraries for a guest destination info book. It was then distributed to all guests. I tried to ignore the requests but alas some info still made it in the dreaded book. It was terribly tacky and I can imagine stressful for the bride to try and gather all this info to create a ridiculous book that violated our privacy. I wish she had just let us be adults and be responsible for ourselves.
    vikinganna87
  • FizzySips said:
    AddieCake said:
    I'm actually pissed off for you on this. I can't believe people are expecting that you would coordinate this for them. 
    This. I'm irritated for you. They can figure it out themselves. 

    We had our wedding at a resort one hour from where we and most of our guests live. I had people asking me the craziest questions, like what traffic would be like all during the weekend. And which people were staying overnight, and if I knew what rooms they were staying in. 


    Lol!!! Well yeah, doesn't every bride keep a roster of exactly which hotel room each guest is staying in? I mean, why wouldn't you? 

    *sarcasm. 

    Sigh. I attended a destination wedding where the bride hounded everyone for their preferred contact info and itineraries for a guest destination info book. It was then distributed to all guests. I tried to ignore the requests but alas some info still made it in the dreaded book. It was terribly tacky and I can imagine stressful for the bride to try and gather all this info to create a ridiculous book that violated our privacy. I wish she had just let us be adults and be responsible for ourselves.
    You're being so unfair, FizzySips.  Just think of how helpful that book was to every guest selling Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, or (insert any other MLM business), lol. (sarcasm)
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    ShesSoColdamelishavikinganna87
  • Yeah, this isn't your problem. And some of the other questions you posters have gotten are crazy!

    OP- particularly since I assume the guests are flying into the airport first (?), they can rent a car right from the airport and drive!

    One thing we did do, was on our website we provided some information on the venue area and city (because we had a lot of OOT). We had a map of the venue location, let guests know which airports they could fly into (there are 2), some links to car rental companies and links to the two hotels we had room blocks for (along with "stars" on the map with the venue location so guests could get an idea of distance). None of our guests asked as where they should stay or about how they were going to get there. They all just came- it was lovely. 
    vikinganna87
  • Here's our travel info.

    Fly into X airport. Taxis are around $ XX, resort shuttle runs from X-X.
    Fly into Y airport. Taxis are around $ XX, no resort shuttle offered.

    Other options may be available. Please contact resort at Phone # and speak with X person.

    If you stay at another resort, please contact them for travel arrangements.

    Really, they're going to get "I don't know, call the resort." if they ask me anything further.
    vikinganna87
  • If you, as the bride, in your attempt to be helpful, suggest that since my flight is arriving around the same time as cousin Joe and maybe I'd be able to drive Joe to the hotel in my rental car, I'll be annoyed.  Even if you just suggest to Joe that he contact me.  Because I wasn't planning on driving directly to the hotel.  I was going to geocache along the way, going 20 miles out of my way to get the oldest geocache in Colorado, and maybe stop for a beer at the nearby brewery.  But now, since Joe asked so nicely, I'll probably say yes, drive directly to the hotel, and be annoyed for the rest of the weekend that I couldn't have my day to myself.

    My sister tried to "help" family members with rides for Grampa's funeral.  "Hey, can you pick up second-cousin Debbie at the airport at 1pm?"  "Well, considering we weren't going to be driving through Minneapolis on the way from Chicago to Duluth, no.  But especially no since even if we did, we wouldn't arrive in Minneapolis until 4pm.  She could rent a car and get to Duluth by then herself."  *sigh*
    vikinganna87slothiegal
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