My fiance and I decided against a flower girl. There is one little girl, the daughter of the best man, that we had thought to ask but we did not want to leave out her older sister (who will be 9 or 10 at that time) that would put 3 of 4 family members in the wedding. We felt like that could be pretty expensive also considering that the wedding far and the couple would likely spend the whole weekend there, and we want them to have as much fun as possible. My fiance and I have a son together and my mother has volunteered to be on baby duty for the day.
Anyway back to the guilty feeling...
My father's brother has a daughter that will be just over two at that time (my father had me young and my uncle is 10 years younger than he is) I am not close to this child at all, I have met her 3 times in her entire life. When speaking with my father's mother she asked about the flower girl and I told her we were not having one and she immediately got an attitude with me. She seemed very hurt that we were not considering my cousin at all. I didn't say it to my grandmother but, my uncle and his wife have a VERY rocky marriage and his wife dislikes most of my family, I have never had any kind of a problem with her but it still makes me nervous to include them in any of our plans.
How can I gently to tell my grandmother that I do not want my cousin, her granddaughter, in the wedding?