Wedding Party

Friend upset she isnt a bridesmaid

About a month ago I picked my bridesmaids and one of my friends, who was not chosen, got very upset because I did not pick her. My reasoning was simple although I consider her a close friend we have not been as close as we were. She lives in another state, me in Philly her in Texas. She also does not get along with the other girls I have chosen. When she asked why I told I her because I thought it would be too much of a burden (granted I could have asked her first before making the decision for her) to pay for a dress and travel costs to come to fittings and stuff. I just honestly did not want to deal with bridesmaids drama on top of wedding stress. Needless to say she is pissed at me and I'm not sure if we are friends anymore. I tried to reach out to find out another way to include her but that did not work out to well. Am I wrong?

Re: Friend upset she isnt a bridesmaid

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    About a month ago I picked my bridesmaids and one of my friends, who was not chosen, got very upset because I did not pick her. My reasoning was simple although I consider her a close friend we have not been as close as we were. She lives in another state, me in Philly her in Texas. She also does not get along with the other girls I have chosen. When she asked why I told I her because I thought it would be too much of a burden (granted I could have asked her first before making the decision for her) to pay for a dress and travel costs to come to fittings and stuff. I just honestly did not want to deal with bridesmaids drama on top of wedding stress. Needless to say she is pissed at me and I'm not sure if we are friends anymore. I tried to reach out to find out another way to include her but that did not work out to well. Am I wrong?
    Your "friend" is wrong.  She has no right to be in your bridal party.  You get to choose whomever you want.  Your reasons are not important, and you should not have told her why you made the decision.  Next time, say "I'm sorry,  We couldn't include as many people as we would have liked."
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Your bridal party are friends/family that you want standing beside you. Plain and simple. If you don't see her as one of those people, that's fine. She should be an adult about it. Its not like its a contest or something. She's not being a good friend. She's being a brat.

    image
  • I can understand her being bummed but she should never have voiced that to you...shame on her.  You are allowed to choose whoever you want to have standing beside you.  I hope your friendship makes it through but if it doesn't...it sounds like a friendship worth losing.
  • She's being a brat. Don't give this another thought.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • I had a friend that was upset with me because I chose not to have bridesmaids for my second wedding (she was in the first wedding). And it really boiled down to the fact that she wanted to feel special that day, and I thought that was pretty selfish. 

    Anyway, I think you should have been honest with her about your reasoning. 
  • Why would she have had to travel for fittings? She can get measured wherever she lives.
  • I agree that it's immature that she's upset about this.

    However what "burden" are you talking about? Unless you just mean paying for a dress within her budget (that you've privately consulted with her on) and showing up on time to the wedding? Any fittings, parties, etc are all extras that are not required of anyone, bridal party or not.

    If the travelling to the fitting thing is the reason you thought that would be too much of a burden, I think that's kind of silly-you guys could have made it work somehow.

    However if you really just didn't feel close enough to ask her, then that's totally fine and she should accept that.

    Formerly martha1818

    image


  • You have no obligation to explain to her why she's not in the wedding. Hopefully someday she realizes that she's wrong and that she shouldn't expect to be in anyone's wedding, let alone throw a little fit when she's not asked to be in the wedding. She sounds very immature and bratty... ignore her.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • If I were your friend, I would not have asked why I wasn't in the WP. No one deserves that honor and she shouldn't have expected it.

    However, if I had asked/if it had come up in conversation, I would have been pissed about your BS "I'm making the decision on your behalf, aren't I so generous?" explanation.

    But since you shouldn't have had to give her an explanation in the first place, and I understand it's difficult to say, "Yeah... you and I just aren't as close as you think we are.", I wouldn't worry too much about it.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards