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If not a bridesmaid, then what?

kmgiesskmgiess member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Party
My brother and his girlfriend have been together over 5 years, and by the time of my wedding it will be over 6.  I'd like to find a way to include her in the wedding, but we're not close enough for her to be a bridesmaid.  Aside from doing a reading, is there another way to include her in the wedding?
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Re: If not a bridesmaid, then what?

  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    kmgiess said:
    My brother and his girlfriend have been together over 5 years, and by the time of my wedding it will be over 6.  I'd like to find a way to include her in the wedding, but we're not close enough for her to be a bridesmaid.  Aside from doing a reading, is there another way to include her in the wedding?
    What's wrong with being invited to your bachelorette/bridal shower (assuming someone is hosting those for you)? Or maybe ask her if she wants to get her hair done the day of or maybe her nails or something if you're doing those activities. She doesn't have to be a part of the actual wedding to know that she's meaningful to the family.

    Personally, I would hate to do a reading and would probably decline. Especially if you're not close to her, as you stated. Are you trying to add her to the wedding somehow because she's your brother's gf for so long? You know you don't have to do that, right?

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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'd just invite her as a guest, that's honour enough if you're not close to her.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    If you're not close to her, it's odd to include her in the wedding itself. 

    ETA: I would invite her to get ready with you. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Just include her as a guest. That's an honor in and of itself.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    I think including her as a guest and inviting her to the bachelorette party (if you have one) would be fine. You don't need to have her in your bridal party if you're not close.


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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    kmgiess said:
    My brother and his girlfriend have been together over 5 years, and by the time of my wedding it will be over 6.  I'd like to find a way to include her in the wedding, but we're not close enough for her to be a bridesmaid.  Aside from doing a reading, is there another way to include her in the wedding?
    Invite her as a guest?  That IS including her.  (You have to invite her, anyway, because she is your brother's S/O.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Another vote for guest.  

    And whatever you do, don't give her the guestbook duty instead of a reading.  These are not honors, they are chores.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Invite her as a guest. If you want to go a little further, get her some flowers and/or include her in some of your formal family portrait shots.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • kmgiesskmgiess member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    All great pieces of advice and suggestions--thank you! 

    I know I don't HAVE to include her in any other way, but since I'm almost certain she'll end up being my sister-in-law someday I didn't want it to ever be weird looking back on the day.

    Thanks!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    kmgiess said:
    All great pieces of advice and suggestions--thank you! 

    I know I don't HAVE to include her in any other way, but since I'm almost certain she'll end up being my sister-in-law someday I didn't want it to ever be weird looking back on the day.

    Thanks!
    I didn't include my SIL (then soon to be SIL/H's sister) when H and I got married.  No weirdness, no regret.

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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    kmgiess said:
    All great pieces of advice and suggestions--thank you! 

    I know I don't HAVE to include her in any other way, but since I'm almost certain she'll end up being my sister-in-law someday I didn't want it to ever be weird looking back on the day.

    Thanks!
    On the flip side, what if she doesn't? I wished at the time of our wedding I had gotten to know BIL's girlfriend quicker so I could have asked her to be in it too since I was really starting to enjoy hanging out with her. They had been together several years at that point. And.... they broke up. BIL was an ass and dumped her out of the blue, ended up regretting it, but by then she had moved on emotionally and ended up dumping him back to pursue another relationship. It would be kind of awkward if she were in (more of) our wedding pictures. As it is she was only in the big family shots.
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