Very rude response from the girls on the "Not Engaged Yet"

Re: Very rude response from the girls on the "Not Engaged Yet"

• beethery member

  

  December 2014

  missnicajenn said:

  So I had sporadically posted on the Not Engaged Yet board a couple times.  Well yesterday I post on there that I was now engaged and I was received with a very rude response.  The gist of the message was that they have no idea who I am so I should share my wedding planning with them... the most ironic part is the girl who responded has been married for 2 years...

  My question to you girls who have been here for a while, is this a normal response? I've always liked this website and have shared it with many girls i know in real life but this experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth.

  
  

  Jennifer

  I'm not really sure what the poster's marital status has to do with anything but... ok. Also, it wasn't really rude. She didn't squeeeeeeee!!!!!! about it because she doesn't really know you as a poster over there.

  
  

  Generally, people who aren't super chatty on the boards will do their big "WOOHOOOOOO!" post on this one and then start participating all over. The Not Engaged Yet board is a pretty tight community, just like many sections of these boards, and once people get to know you, they'll be more excited for your stuff. There are plenty of OMH's all over the boards (OMH = Old Married Hag. It's a joke, don't worry.) and lots of them have really great advice and stories and are overall REALLY cool people, as are the engaged people, mothers-of-brides, bridesmaids, etc. that all post on here.

  
  

  Think about it this way. Let's say, hypothetically, that there's a family in your town. You've seen them out shopping or at church a few times. Said, "Hey, nice to meet you!" when introduced at the block party. Just like... vague acquaintances, right?

  
  

  Now imagine you ran up to them at the grocery store and went, "I'M ENGAGED!!!!! SO COOL, RIGHT?"

  
  

  They would probably react like:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  That reaction makes sense because they don't really know much about you.

  
  

  What I'm getting at is that these boards are awesome. It's worth participating in conversations and getting to know people. You'll probably get a more pumped reaction from the internet friends here once you've established yourself within the community. Nobody was being rude by informing you that they're not quite as jazzed about your engagement as you are. You just need to stick around and talk before kicking the door in and trying to start a party, y'know?

  --

  
  I'm the fuck out.

  
  

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  December 2014

  Meh....no, it wasn't very nice, but that board is a close group of women and many keep to themselves on that board. Many of them are married but continue to hang out on that board because they made friends there that stick there. And if you weren't a regular poster, it IS kind of odd to announce that you're engaged b/c you're essentially doing it cold to a bunch of strangers. THIS board is perfect for that kind of announcement b/c nobody socializes here. It's mostly FOR announcements. If you came over to the other boards and just announced like that with no intro, you would likely get a similar response.

  
  

  I'm sorry you had that experience. Why don't you lurk a bit on ChitChat and introduce yourself to the rest of the community that way? 

  
  

  Congrats, and happy planning!

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• AddieCake member

  

  December 2014

  Just checked the post, and CUTiger (who I have always liked and wish would come out more!) told you pretty much what I said. You ran up to strangers and announced you were engaged. See how that's weird?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• missnicajenn member

  

  December 2014

  I appreciate you ladies taking the time to respond to me.  I can see what you guys mean about me running into a room full of strangers that I was engaged.  Guess I thought since it was a wedding website it wouldn't be so strange.  I am very new to this whole posting and looking to meet more people.  I probably would of reacted the same if I was in the "in".  I'm just extra sensitive this time of year.

  
  

  Jennifer

  I was swimming

  My eyes were dark

  'til you woke me

  And told me that opening

  is just the start

  It was

  Now I see you, 'til kingdom come

  You're the one I want

  to see me for all 

  the stupid shit I've done

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Report2 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  December 2014

  No worries. You will see that while it is all one site, there are a couple boards that are their own little community, so to speak. Wedding Woes is another one like that.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  December 2014

  Congrats! 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  December 2014

  Congratulations and best wishes!

  Report1 Reply
• cu97tiger member

  

  December 2014 edited December 2014

  AddieCake said:

  Just checked the post, and CUTiger (who I have always liked and wish would come out more!) told you pretty much what I said. You ran up to strangers and announced you were engaged. See how that's weird?

  Hi there, @addiecake! I'm definitely not around as much as I used to be... Damn life getting in the way!

  
  

  And as for, @missnicajenn... it's not about being 'in,' it's just about general internet etiquette. Strike 1 was feeling like you needed to announce your engagement on a forum you rarely posted on. Strike 2 was running over here to complain about it. Did you think no one from NEY was going to see it? But Addie explained it well, so I think you now get why you got the response that you did. I do hope you enjoy your engagement and there are definitely other forums on TK that will welcome you.

  
  

  ETA: Just because you didn't get the response that you wanted doesn't mean that my response was 'rude'

  

  
  

  

  
  

  My planning bio

  "You are made of win." -SopChick
  Still here and still fabulous!

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