XP - Dress Shopping - Any etiquette rules?

Re: XP - Dress Shopping - Any etiquette rules?

• CMGragain member

  

  January 2015

  Only one person is necessary to choose your dress - YOU!  It is nice that your mother wants to come along.  Mine didn't.  The fewer people you bring with you, the better.  Many shops do not have the room to accommodate an entourage of family and friends.  All the differing opinions can get confusing.  We have seen so many brides crying, "Everybody else thought it was THE dress, but now I really don't like it!"
  There is no rule.  You would be smart to just bring your Mom, though.
  

  

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• Dignity100 member

  

  January 2015

  I picked out my dress without my mom or any other opinions.  The only time I brought a friend with me was when I was going to a shop I knew I would need help getting in/out of dresses.  Keep in mind everybody has an opinion and some people have egos on top of that.
  
  If somebody is helping to pay for the dress, I would say you probably should at least extend an invite to that person (unless it's your FI).
  

  
  
  
  

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• vmj23 member

  

  January 2015

  I went to 2 stores (on different days) and had different people with me each time (mom, good friend and mil first time, 2 SILS and mom with me second time when I found and purchased my dress).  

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• atlastmrsg member

  

  January 2015

  You don't have to invite anyone.  I went by myself because I knew that my mom wanted something poufy, princessy, and crystal encrusted.  I wanted none of those things.  I didn't feel like coming out in what I really liked and her not liking it.

  
  

  So I went alone, then took my MOH to a fitting to learn how to bustle it and to see it.

  
  

  You can take whoever makes you happy.  Or just do it on your own.  But be warned: the more people you take, the more opinions (solicited or not) you'll get about what you should get.  This makes it harder for some people, not easier.  Would you pick a dress one of your tag alongs doesn't like at all?  And if you did, would the experience be how you hoped/imagined it?

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• weddingcactus member

  

  January 2015

  Take whoever you want to take and do not feel obligated to take anyone else. There is no etiquette requirement that you invite anyone, including you FMIL. If however, you want her there, you should feel welcome to invite her and your mom should support your decision. I think she is being overly sensitive to be upset and expecting this to be a mother/daughter activity only. 

  
  

  I took no more than 2 people at a time to my appointments and included 2 very close friends and my mother. I did not have any desire for my FMIL to be there. 

  
  

  I think it's easier to make the decision with fewer voices in the mix. I also think it's important to take people who will be supportive of your decisions and will not try to bully you into selecting something that does not suit you. I specifically chose people whose fashion opinions I respect and have consulted before. For me the goal was to find a dress within budget that made me feel beautiful and like myself. I chose people that were supportive and helped me do just that. 

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• primafaba15 member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  I have to admit I'm somewhat relieved to find somebody else whose mother came up with this 'rule'!  My mother insisted that dress shopping was for the parents and my sister/MOH *only*. I specifically wanted to bring a good friend, one of my BMs, because I really trust her advice and I wanted a voice in the room that wasn't family (my mom can be overbearing / bases everything on what her wedding was like, and my sister and mom basically share a brain). 

  
  

  As PP's noted at least a couple of the stores I had appointments with had strict limits, and honestly at least one didn't comfortably accommodate my 'mandatory' entourage of 3 despite having no limits. So you probably want to keep it small. 

  
  

  In the end, I did have my friend and FSIL there when I actually found my dress, because I had a couple of back-to-back bride/BM appointments that day and could reasonably insist that the other BMs be present. Looking back, an entourage of 5 felt kind of overwhelming, but the people I'd have wanted to cut would have been the 'mandatory' ones, so I'm not sure I'd have done it differently. 

  
  

  If you really want to include FMIL and it's going to be a problem with your mom, maybe you could ask her to come along to your dress fittings instead? I would never have asked my FMIL shopping because she and my mom clash ridiculously, but the fittings turned out to be a nice way to include her without creating drama, especially since my mom would have had to fly up again to come with me. 

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