FI's family/junior bridesmaid issues.

amuhl10 · January 2015

I decided to include my FI's daughter (6) and his two sisters (ages 14 and 10) and brother (8). All of which will be outside the bridal party (as "juniors") since we already have 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. My issue here is, by the time we get married (2016), his older sister will be 16- coming dangerously close to the junior bridesmaid/senior bridesmaid border. I feel weird asking one sister to be a senior bridesmaid and one to be a junior (since I plan on having different dresses for senior vs junior). Any suggestions??

Blue_Bird · January 2015

I suggest that you either ask them all to be bridesmaids or don't. "Junior Bridesmaid" is just silly, and kind of insulting. They are all doing the exact same thing. If they aren't going to be standing up with you, then asking them to be junior bridesmaids is pointless anyway.

P.S.- If your reasoning was even sides, that's not necessary either. No one will notice this but you.

NYCMercedes · January 2015

Knottie42767984 said:

I decided to include my FI's daughter (6) and his two sisters (ages 14 and 10) and brother (8). All of which will be outside the bridal party (as "juniors") since we already have 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. My issue here is, by the time we get married (2016), his older sister will be 16- coming dangerously close to the junior bridesmaid/senior bridesmaid border. I feel weird asking one sister to be a senior bridesmaid and one to be a junior (since I plan on having different dresses for senior vs junior). Any suggestions??

Junior and senior titles are passé. I suggest you drop them as duties are the same: stand up for you and smile for the camera. You can then dress family separately from non-family, if you want to make a distinction.

Jen4948 · January 2015

Drop the "junior/senior" bridesmaid/groomsman distinction. The only things a minor attendant cannot do that an adult can are act as legal witnesses, drink alcohol, and go into "adult" places. So just treat the sisters as bridesmaids.

The 6- and 8- year-olds can be flower girl and ring bearer respectively.

AddieCake · January 2015

Another vote for dropping the junior. It's a silly title and means nothing.

amuhl10 · January 2015

Thanks everyone! The distinction between family vs. non-family is a really good idea. I just wanted to have the jr. vs sr. distinction because they don't have matching groomsmen like the rest of the bridesmaids.

What do you guys think about the 16 year old being old enough to wear the same dress as the "adults" and her sister only being 11 or 12 who wouldn't necessarily fit into that dress? I'm not sure what to say in that situation

Jen4948 · January 2015

Knottie42767984 said:
Thanks everyone! The distinction between family vs. non-family is a really good idea. I just wanted to have the jr. vs sr. distinction because they don't have matching groomsmen like the rest of the bridesmaids.

What do you guys think about the 16 year old being old enough to wear the same dress as the "adults" and her sister only being 11 or 12 who wouldn't necessarily fit into that dress? I'm not sure what to say in that situation

Bridesmaids don't have to be dressed alike. Just lose the "junior/senior" distinction.

amuhl10 · January 2015

Yeah, but I feel like (with his family especially) it is going to be a big deal if I treat the two sisters differently (especially with dressing them). I guess I can just flat out tell them that it's because the younger one doesn't fit into the other dress. I don't know.

Jen4948 · January 2015

amuhl10 said:
Yeah, but I feel like (with his family especially) it is going to be a big deal if I treat the two sisters differently (especially with dressing them). I guess I can just flat out tell them that it's because the younger one doesn't fit into the other dress. I don't know.

Forget about the dresses. No one is talking about treating the sisters differently! We're advising you to treat the same as your adult bridesmaids with the exceptions of the witnessing, drinking alcohol, and "adult" activities. They don't need to be wearing the same dresses as the adult bridesmaids to do that.

NYCMercedes · January 2015

As his sisters will be 12 and 16 at wedding-time, you and they can find matching or coordinating dresses in the junior dept at any dept store or at their favorite teen clothing shop.

His daughter can dress in the same color as they.

His brother will be ten, so ask him and your FI whether he wants to wear a suit or just dress pants and shirt with a tie color-coordinated to his sister's dresses.

This is over two years out still, so just relax for now. The appropriate clothing and choices will become apparent closer to your wedding date.

ohannabelle · January 2015

Discard all silly Jr. And Sr. labels immediately, unless you have a father and son with identical names in your bridal party. If you do, do not ask them to wear dresses.

Dress each person appropriately according to her age.

Problem solved.

JCbride2015 · January 2015

Many bridal lines (including the one I'm using, Alfred Angelo) have junior size versions of some of their dresses. So if it's really important to you, you can probably find the same dress for everyone. But I think it's understood than 11 and 12 year olds just won't fit the same dress as 20-somethings, so it would look totally fine to choose a different dress for them (maybe in a similar color or style). I really don't think this is something to worry about.

doeydo · January 2015

They're all his family so it makes sense for them to be groomsmaids/ladies and the younger ones possibly ring bearers and flower girls. I would just have them in dresses that coordinate with the colour scheme and call it a day.

Liatris2010 · January 2015

Worry about the dresses when it is time to buy them. In two years you might not want all the older BMs in the same dress anyway.

aurianna · January 2015

amuhl10 said:

Yeah, but I feel like (with his family especially) it is going to be a big deal if I treat the two sisters differently (especially with dressing them). I guess I can just flat out tell them that it's because the younger one doesn't fit into the other dress. I don't know.

If this is the case, think how nice it will be if they all get the title of bridesmaid instead of having different titles.

Something else you could do is just give them a color, maybe a fabric, and a length (ex: Get a light blue, knee length dress, in a shiny fabric) to all the BMs. Then everyone would be in different dresses so the younger girls wouldn't be singled out, but you still have an overall "look."

[Deleted User] · January 2015

amuhl10 said:

Yeah, but I feel like (with his family especially) it is going to be a big deal if I treat the two sisters differently (especially with dressing them). I guess I can just flat out tell them that it's because the younger one doesn't fit into the other dress. I don't know.

There's a big difference between 12 and 16 - it would be completely appropriately for them not to wear the same dress! And, to be honest, they probably would have very different styles and therefore not like the same dress anyway!

The 12 year old bridesmaid will have a different dress from the other bridesmaids, but that's really fine.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

amuhl10 said:

Thanks everyone! The distinction between family vs. non-family is a really good idea. I just wanted to have the jr. vs sr. distinction because they don't have matching groomsmen like the rest of the bridesmaids.

What do you guys think about the 16 year old being old enough to wear the same dress as the "adults" and her sister only being 11 or 12 who wouldn't necessarily fit into that dress? I'm not sure what to say in that situation

I ditto everything that PPs have stated and just wanted to add that you don't need to have the GMs escort the BMs in the processional or recessional if this is part of the "issue."

Just have the GMs process in on their own, then have the BM's process in.

FI's family/junior bridesmaid issues.

Re: FI's family/junior bridesmaid issues.

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