Wedding Dress-Last minute-Need Advice!

mustangchik66 · January 2015

Hello, My fiance is currently deployed and we plan on having either a very small ceremony or courthouse wedding when he gets back from deployment (havent decided which one to do yet). He has told me that he wants to buy my dress, but he can't buy it til he is back from deployment which is fine. However I am worried about how that will work because I know normally you would need to buy your dress months in advance due to ordering the size and the fittings etc. and with waiting to get it til he is back I will have to buy my dress last minute/right before the wedding. Any advice as to how I go about that or what to expect when i go to look for my dress.

Thanks!

banana468 · January 2015

I think you need to talk about that worth him.

NYCMercedes · January 2015

Can you just get his cr cd info, or does he want to be with you when you buy it?

AddieCake · January 2015

You could always buy it yourself and he gives you the money later.

JCbride2015 · January 2015

mustangchik66 said:

Hello, My fiance is currently deployed and we plan on having either a very small ceremony or courthouse wedding when he gets back from deployment (havent decided which one to do yet). He has told me that he wants to buy my dress, but he can't buy it til he is back from deployment which is fine. However I am worried about how that will work because I know normally you would need to buy your dress months in advance due to ordering the size and the fittings etc. and with waiting to get it til he is back I will have to buy my dress last minute/right before the wedding. Any advice as to how I go about that or what to expect when i go to look for my dress or what to do would be appreciated!

Thanks!

Can you take his credit card info? Or can you pay for it now and he can wire you the money?

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

mustangchik66 said:
Hello, My fiance is currently deployed and we plan on having either a very small ceremony or courthouse wedding when he gets back from deployment (havent decided which one to do yet). He has told me that he wants to buy my dress, but he can't buy it til he is back from deployment which is fine. However I am worried about how that will work because I know normally you would need to buy your dress months in advance due to ordering the size and the fittings etc. and with waiting to get it til he is back I will have to buy my dress last minute/right before the wedding. Any advice as to how I go about that or what to expect when i go to look for my dress or what to do would be appreciated!

Thanks!

You can either front the money or buy something off the rack/pre-owned when he gets back.

mustangchik66 · January 2015

I have his card but he wont have the money saved up til hes back and he refuses to let me pay for it, hes very stubborn.

mustangchik66 · January 2015

I am simply asking advice on what to expect if i go shopping at the last minute, I dont see how discussing that with him would be helpful.

photokitty · January 2015

You should find stores that sell dresses "off the rack." David's bridal is one. Many bridal stores will sell you dresses of the rack, you will just have fewer choices. Add long as you can get it altered and don't have a particular dress you "must have" them you should be fine.

AlexisA01 · January 2015

mustangchik66 said:

I am simply asking advice on what to expect if i go shopping at the last minute, I dont see how discussing that with him would be helpful.

The ladies are just saying to talk with him. You could get your dress by him with his CC. It depends on when you are getting your dress and where. Some place you buy as is and you may have not enough time for alternations.

mustangchik66 · January 2015

Thank you photokitty that was extremely helpful, I didnt even know there were stores that sold dresses "off the rack"

kaitlynmichelle · January 2015

I bought an off the rack dress, took it home with me that day. It needed minimal alterations, which took 2 weeks.

Just don't set super high expectations when you go shopping as there might not be a specific dress or as much choice if you go that route. I specifically went in knowing the store only sold what they had there, and they were all samples from other locations. I got a killer deal on it.

If you want a specific dress that needs to be ordered, talk to him about a new idea on payment. You say he's stubborn and refuses to let you pay, but he can't very well stop you from buying the dress now and he can pay you back. It isn't just about what he wants.

NYCMercedes · January 2015

Sorry, OP, didn't mean to offend you. I just assumed that you knew that off the rack would give you fewer options than a special order.

I suggest you do research so that you're prepared when he gets home. Make now appointments at Davids Bridal and Alfred Angelo, which both have a few dresses in stock, so you can try on dresses to see your flattering shape and size. Go to a J Crew Bridal shop and a Group USA as well, if they have stores in your area. Nordstrom and Macy's have a few in stock too. Call a few boutiques in your area to see if they sell samples in your size.

Eventually you'll have a plan for when you're ready to move forward and buy a dress.

JoanE2012 · January 2015

mustangchik66 said:

I am simply asking advice on what to expect if i go shopping at the last minute, I dont see how discussing that with him would be helpful.

Expect to have to buy something off the rack. Last minute, you can't be terribly picky. Personally, I'd get something now and have FI pay you back.

Can you explain to your FI that buying a wedding dress isn't as easy as running out to the store for a new pair of shoes? I'd much rather have a selection to choose from and not feel stressed or pressured to find something off the rack that I like (and possibly still need alterations!) last minute. He may be stubborn, but I would hope he would not want you to feel that pressure or stress either.

novella1186 · January 2015

NYCMercedes said:

Sorry, OP, didn't mean to offend you. I just assumed that you knew that off the rack would give you fewer options than a special order.

I suggest you do research so that you're prepared when he gets home. Make now appointments at Davids Bridal and Alfred Angelo, which both have a few dresses in stock, so you can try on dresses to see your flattering shape and size. Go to a J Crew Bridal shop and a Group USA as well, if they have stores in your area. Nordstrom and Macy's have a few in stock too. Call a few boutiques in your area to see if they sell samples in your size.

Eventually you'll have a plan for when you're ready to move forward and buy a dress.

This. Do your research and find stores in your area that have some dresses in stock you can take with you the same day you buy. There are lots of stores like this. There are also discount stores that ONLY sell off the rack because all they have are samples that have been "retired" from other bridal boutiques and whatnot. Do a little looking ahead of time so you have an idea of what you want, and maybe also find a seamstress you like ahead of time so you can hurry up and get the necessary alterations as soon as you buy the dress.

mrscaty · January 2015

Unless you go to a DB or AA, keep in mind that you will most likely be limited if you are outside of what bridal salons carry as sample sizes. The boutique I went to carried a small selection of plus size gowns (16-20), and almost all the others were (street) size 10. Had a smaller girl wanted to buy off the rack, she'd have had a damn hard time finding something in a pinch without paying out the ear in alterations, especially rush.

Jessie42613 · January 2015

mustangchik66 said:

I am simply asking advice on what to expect if i go shopping at the last minute, I dont see how discussing that with him would be helpful.

Where's that damn side-eye icon when I need it?

SP29 · January 2015

Buy off the rack. Or, figure out what size you are with a particular brand, and if that store has an online store, buy there. For example, David's Bridal. If you walk into the store, you can always buy off the rack, BUT that store might not have the exact size you need. However, you can order online with David's, so you might have enough time to do that (though check how long it takes to ship).

A lot of the big department stores also sell wedding dresses.

You will need to be more open-minded about the style, but at the end of the day, the dress does not make the wedding. I bought my dress in March for my January wedding and didn't even get to wear it the day of! (Short of the long, it got lost in the mail) That experience really made me realize what IS a wedding- and the dress isn't it. Keep your mind open and you can find something last minute.

photokitty · January 2015

Jessie42613 said:
show previous quotes

mustangchik66 said:

I am simply asking advice on what to expect if i go shopping at the last minute, I dont see how discussing that with him would be helpful.

Where's that damn side-eye icon when I need it?

Here ya go

novella1186 · January 2015

photokitty said:

show previous quotes

mustangchik66 said:

I am simply asking advice on what to expect if i go shopping at the last minute, I dont see how discussing that with him would be helpful.

Where's that damn side-eye icon when I need it?
Here ya go

CMGragain · January 2015

Your FI obviously does not understand how buying a wedding dress works. You need to explain this to him.
My daughter's dress took five months to arrive after it was ordered. This is normal. Most bridal shops do not sell their merchandise off the rack, like other dress shops. David's Bridal is your best bet to buy a sample dress.
Usually when you place an order for a dress, you give them a deposit, which is non-refundable. The rest is due when the dress arrives, months later. David's Bridal usually has a faster order time because of the way their company is structured.
If you wait to go dress shopping until just before your wedding, you will be limited to the sample dresses that the shop has available in your size - maybe three or four. It will not be possible for you to order your dream dress.
Good luck shopping.

short+sassy · January 2015

In addition to what the other PPs have said, not only do you need to wear a fairly common/popular size...but you also need to be the right height to just grab a dress off the rack and have it fit with no alterations.

For example, when I was WD shopping, I found an awesome dress at David's Bridal (DB) that fit me perfectly right off the rack...except the height. I'm only 5'0" and there is no way an off the rack WD would fit me without it being majorly hemmed. Unless I was buying something that is supposed to hit mid calf and then it would be floor length on me, lol.

Another option is shopping at department stores for a pretty dress (white or whatever color you want) that isn't necessarily a wedding dress. However, than your dress may not be as formal looking. Really, a lot of this is dependent on how picky you are about the dress.

For example, if you are picturing something fairly specific/formal that will in all likelihood need alterations, your FI's timeline just won't work. And you will need to educate him about that. I'm sure many men have no idea how long it can take to get a wedding gown ordered, delivered, and fitted correctly. But, if you would be happy with a pretty dress...maybe not even necessarily in white...than it is very doable to buy off the rack. I'm assuming you fall somewhere in between.

I'd suggest going to a bridal store, like DB, and see/try on what they have available "off the rack". Still no guarantees, but it will at least give you an idea as to how likely it is you will find something you like...if anything even fits without alterations...for when you are ready.

weddingcactus · January 2015

mustangchik66 said:

Hello, My fiance is currently deployed and we plan on having either a very small ceremony or courthouse wedding when he gets back from deployment (havent decided which one to do yet). He has told me that he wants to buy my dress, but he can't buy it til he is back from deployment which is fine. However I am worried about how that will work because I know normally you would need to buy your dress months in advance due to ordering the size and the fittings etc. and with waiting to get it til he is back I will have to buy my dress last minute/right before the wedding. Any advice as to how I go about that or what to expect when i go to look for my dress.

Thanks!

I suspect this could also because wedding dresses can be quite expensive, and often military personnel return from a deployment with a really nice sum of money. If he said he can't buy it until he returns, I would take him at his word.

How soon after his return from deployment will you be getting married (days, weeks, months)? Many wedding dresses must be ordered months in advance. However, some can be purchased much closer to the wedding. Some can be rushed. I'd start with calling dress shops near you to find out your options. Ask them about sample sales, off the rack, rush orders, etc. Then you can do one of the following.

Buy a dress after your fiance returns from deployment. This may mean ordering online or shopping at a store that sells samples or off the rack.
Buy a dress with your own money up front and have him reimburse you. Hopefully you have an understanding partnership where you can explain to him the time restrictions of the wedding dress industry.
Buy a dress with your own money. If you really want a dress that can only be ordered in advance, perhaps you can ask him to pay for another aspect of the wedding.

If you really want a dress that can only be ordered, you're going to have to work out a compromise.

I was pleased with dresses I tried on at BHLDN and JCrew. I believe most of them can be ordered in a relatively short time, but I'd check with the stores to be sure.

badbnagdway · January 2015

short+sassy said:

In addition to what the other PPs have said, not only do you need to wear a fairly common/popular size...but you also need to be the right height to just grab a dress off the rack and have it fit with no alterations.

This. If OP is a bridal size 10 (which is frequently a street size 6, but not always), there may be a lot of sample options. I live near Atlanta and they have stores that are bridal consignment, meaning their inventory is completely made up of dresses that are available to take home that day.

I second the suggestion of retailers like JCrew <clicky>, Ann Taylor <clicky>, BHLDN <clicky>, etc. In my experience these places will have dresses that are a elegant and more simple (though some have really lovely detail). The rub is you will probably have to order online unless you are lucky enough to live near one of their bridal stores. I found their return policies easy and the shipping was pretty quick. Department stores often carry some variety of white fancy dresses that might do as well.

I ordered my dress from Zappos and love it. You could also consider renting a dress from Rent the Runway.

Any dress may require some alterations though, at least to the length, so it is important to consider how long it will be between him getting home and the wedding.

Also think about what you want. Maybe go try on some things. I did not feel like myself in the type of gowns I tried on at the bridal salon and preferred simpler fare, but if you are the opposite you may not be super happy with what you can buy off the rack.

fwtx5815 · January 2015

kaitlynmichelle said:

I bought an off the rack dress, took it home with me that day. It needed minimal alterations, which took 2 weeks. Just don't set super high expectations when you go shopping as there might not be a specific dress or as much choice if you go that route. I specifically went in knowing the store only sold what they had there, and they were all samples from other locations. I got a killer deal on it. If you want a specific dress that needs to be ordered, talk to him about a new idea on payment. You say he's stubborn and refuses to let you pay, but he can't very well stop you from buying the dress now and he can pay you back. It isn't just about what he wants.

A big fat amen to the bolded. His "stubbornness" is going to hinder your ability to find your wedding dress. If you aren't picky and will be okay with going along with what your local stores have available and shopping under the gun, then it may not be a big deal to you.

If you 1. live in a rural area with a limited bridal shop selection 2. will need a lot of alterations on an off-the-rack dress or 3. have a specific dress style or designer in mind, then this will become much more difficult to do.

Your comfort in this dress shopping business matters. IMO, it should be more important than your FI getting his way (if there's a way to make it work money-wise). GL!

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