My fiance and I were engaged April 2014 after having dated for 1.5 years. We set our date for May 9th, 2015 about a month after getting engaged.
His older brother started dating a girl whom he met online May 2014. She had just finalized her divorce in Feb 2014.
Anyhow, older brother popped the question the first week of December, and they have decided they want to hurry and get married so they can start a family ASAP. They have booked their wedding for March 28th, 2015 (1 month and 1 week before ours).
At first I was quite upset (okay I still slightly am)... that after having set our date and been planning for months that they would swoop in and book roughly a month before us. I am just now getting to the point of putting that behind me. After all its no way to start off a relationship with a future sister-in-law.
HOWEVER, we just met over Christmas. I am excited for them so I asked her to see her ring and what her plans are for he big day. She was keen to share her excitement... wonderful. Not once during the 5 days visit did she ever once inquire about our wedding plans.
I am trying my best not to make this a competition, yet everywhere I turn I feel the family is comparing me to her. I feel as though I'm being labelled the princess for wanting to have a nice wedding ($15K budget) while their 'small' budget wedding is saving her and their eldest son money. By small wedding, they are still inviting over 200+ guests.
Recently a cousin of my fiance added me as a friend on social media and said how herself and another cousin were hosting a shower for future brother and sister in-law... and if someone was hosting one for us they wouldn't mind 'helping-out' with it.
I just feel like everywhere I turn I'm getting second fiddle and am now forced into the competition for fear of being judged. We had originally limited our invites to immediate family to help stay on budget... well she brings out her huge invitation list and wants every Tom, Dick and Harry to be able to send invites to. Now I feel pressured to send these same people invites do the close-nature of the weddings for fear some extended family will be offended if we don't send them invites.
A number of immediate family members on my fiance's side will have to travel in from out of town for both weddings (out of state).
I try to keep telling myself to be the bigger person and just ignore the whole deal and only focus on our 'big day' but feel as though I keep getting pulled back into the rat's nest.
Anyone else with similar experience able to share some advice?