How much time should I allocate for receiving line?

apromise22 · January 2015

We are having a church wedding, and the reception will be at another venue 10 blocks away. How much time should I expect the receiving line to last? We will have about 75 guests, and there will be no bridal party, so the receiving line will just have my FH and me and parents.

We will not have a "gap" other than time for the receiving line and for people to get to their cars, drive, park, and get to the reception venue. So I want to know (approximately) how much time I should expect the receiving line to last, so that we neither cut into cocktail hour time nor end up with too much time in between. I've been to weddings where the receiving line seemed to take forever, but they had 10 members of the bridal party in the line, so that might have made it last longer.

I'm also thinking about starting the cocktail hour 30 minutes early (and making it 90 minutes total) in case people get there early.

Thanks for your help.

photokitty · January 2015

Have you considered not having a receiving line? We didn't have a brdial party or a receiving line, we just went around and did table visits after we ate and mingled with guests during cocktail hour. I'm not a fan of receiving lines, they are long and feel forced and hurried. I would think it would take 20 to 30 mins if you have one.

apromise22 · January 2015

Yeah, we're not sure if we'll have one or not. I'm trying to figure out my options. Ideally we'd be able to greet everyone during cocktail hour, but we're we're doing all the couple pictures after the ceremony, so that would cut into cocktail hour. I'd prefer not to greet everyone at dinner as that will be one of the few times we can sit and relax.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

Your cocktail hour should start as soon as the first guest gets there, not the last. Remember that no matter how long your receiving line is, you will be the only person who sticks around through the end of it. The first person will be through and headed to the reception in 10 seconds.

I agree with the 20-30 minute guesstimation, depending on how chatty your guests are.

ETA you'll be served your dinner first, so you should be able to relax and eat your meal while other people are being served, and finish while they're eating so you can start doing table visits.

lyndausvi · January 2015

If it's at the back of the church with only you (or maybe add your parents) I would say 15-20 minutes is a good estimate.

My sister had 267 people and her's lasted about 30 minutes.

marie2785 · January 2015

Confirm with your church they allow receiving lines. The church FI and I are getting married at does not, since they need everyone and everything out of the church within 30 min of the end of the wedding so that the next wedding or mass can begin on time. My friend did not know this, but got told at her rehearsal (and then warned me so I knew well in advance of my wedding). I think most churches allow it, but always good to check.
Personally I'm a table visit fan. They feel less rushed. I always need to use the restroom after church (small bladder...), so as a guest I either skip, or rush through the receiving line as fast as possible.

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

We had 73 guests, and our receiving line took about 15 minutes (we had the bridal party and our parents with us since the BP was most of our siblings). We did it as more of a quick hello and here's our new spouse since several guests only knew one of us, and followed up with table visits during the second half of cocktail hour (both of us together) and during dinner (we split up and spent extended periods of time with each table of our coworkers and high school friends).

lyndausvi · January 2015

marie2785 said:

Confirm with your church they allow receiving lines. The church FI and I are getting married at does not, since they need everyone and everything out of the church within 30 min of the end of the wedding so that the next wedding or mass can begin on time. My friend did not know this, but got told at her rehearsal (and then warned me so I knew well in advance of my wedding). I think most churches allow it, but always good to check.
Personally I'm a table visit fan. They feel less rushed. I always need to use the restroom after church (small bladder...), so as a guest I either skip, or rush through the receiving line as fast as possible.

My SIL's Catholic church gave them the option of having communion or a receiving line. They could not have both.

First time I had heard that, before. They opted for the receiving line instead of a full mass with communion.

mlg78 · January 2015

I haaaaaaaaaaaaate receiving lines. We did table visits. It was nice to actually chat with and meet everyone on my husband's side who I didn't know without holding up a line. Also, it was a great opportunity for our photographer to get pictures. Lastly, some people don't go to the church and only go to the reception...which baffles me when there isn't a gap and my reception was just 1 mile away from my church but whatever... So by doing table visits you are able to see more people.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

mlg78 said:
I haaaaaaaaaaaaate receiving lines. We did table visits. It was nice to actually chat with and meet everyone on my husband's side who I didn't know without holding up a line. Also, it was a great opportunity for our photographer to get pictures. Lastly, some people don't go to the church and only go to the reception...which baffles me when there isn't a gap and my reception was just 1 mile away from my church but whatever... So by doing table visits you are able to see more people.

They're not mutually exclusive, you know. A receiving line, if done, should be in addition to table visits.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

For that number of guests I would say 15-20 minutes & then add another 5 minutes for you to exit that church & get into your waiting car & then for your guests to dispurse. If you have a 30 minute window from the time you expect your ceremony to end & the time of your cocktail hour, you'll be totally fine. Because even though it's only 10 blocks away, but time people get to their cars, get out of the parking lot & get there, it's will probably be 30-45 minutes after your ceremony ended before they get to the reception location.

We did the receiving line at church and did table visits, not all of our guests made it to the ceremony due to work or other commitments. The table visits help us hit the people that didn't make it to the church but the receiving line made it that if everyone wasn't at the table when we stopped by, we didn't feel like we had to come back around a second time or hunt that person down so we could say hi to them.

marie2785 · January 2015

lyndausvi said:

marie2785 said:

Confirm with your church they allow receiving lines. The church FI and I are getting married at does not, since they need everyone and everything out of the church within 30 min of the end of the wedding so that the next wedding or mass can begin on time. My friend did not know this, but got told at her rehearsal (and then warned me so I knew well in advance of my wedding). I think most churches allow it, but always good to check.
Personally I'm a table visit fan. They feel less rushed. I always need to use the restroom after church (small bladder...), so as a guest I either skip, or rush through the receiving line as fast as possible.

My SIL's Catholic church gave them the option of having communion or a receiving line. They could not have both.

First time I had heard that, before. They opted for the receiving line instead of a full mass with communion.

Thats...an interesting solution from the church, and makes me wonder if the receiving line issue is a Catholic thing since the church I mentioned above is also Catholic (from what I can tell, many Catholic churches schedule 3-4 wedding very close together most Saturdays). My church didn't even give us an option not to have a full mass since technically 2 catholics marrying must have a nuptial mass, although I'm sure some churches don't follow the guidelines perfectly.

AddieCake · January 2015

lolo883 said:

I haaaaaaaaaaaaate receiving lines. We did table visits. It was nice to actually chat with and meet everyone on my husband's side who I didn't know without holding up a line. Also, it was a great opportunity for our photographer to get pictures. Lastly, some people don't go to the church and only go to the reception...which baffles me when there isn't a gap and my reception was just 1 mile away from my church but whatever... So by doing table visits you are able to see more people.
They're not mutually exclusive, you know. A receiving line, if done, should be in addition to table visits.

Lots of people choose one over the other. I've never seen both done.

lyndausvi · January 2015

marie2785 said:

lyndausvi said:

marie2785 said:

Confirm with your church they allow receiving lines. The church FI and I are getting married at does not, since they need everyone and everything out of the church within 30 min of the end of the wedding so that the next wedding or mass can begin on time. My friend did not know this, but got told at her rehearsal (and then warned me so I knew well in advance of my wedding). I think most churches allow it, but always good to check.
Personally I'm a table visit fan. They feel less rushed. I always need to use the restroom after church (small bladder...), so as a guest I either skip, or rush through the receiving line as fast as possible.

My SIL's Catholic church gave them the option of having communion or a receiving line. They could not have both.

First time I had heard that, before. They opted for the receiving line instead of a full mass with communion.

Thats...an interesting solution from the church, and makes me wonder if the receiving line issue is a Catholic thing since the church I mentioned above is also Catholic (from what I can tell, many Catholic churches schedule 3-4 wedding very close together most Saturdays). My church didn't even give us an option not to have a full mass since technically 2 catholics marrying must have a nuptial mass, although I'm sure some churches don't follow the guidelines perfectly.

I've never thought twice about a receiving line. After every Sunday mass there would be a receiving line of sorts were most people stopped to say a quick hello to the priest (and others) on their way out from church. Those who opted out would walk down the side aisle and out the other doors. I've always viewed a receiving line much like that. If you don't want to be in the receiving line just don't walk down the main aisle.

As like Addie said, they are not mutually exclusive. We had a impromptu receiving line that doubled as the line to the bar. We still did table visits.

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

AddieCake said:

lolo883 said:

I haaaaaaaaaaaaate receiving lines. We did table visits. It was nice to actually chat with and meet everyone on my husband's side who I didn't know without holding up a line. Also, it was a great opportunity for our photographer to get pictures. Lastly, some people don't go to the church and only go to the reception...which baffles me when there isn't a gap and my reception was just 1 mile away from my church but whatever... So by doing table visits you are able to see more people.
They're not mutually exclusive, you know. A receiving line, if done, should be in addition to table visits.

Lots of people choose one over the other. I've never seen both done.

Almost every wedding I've been to has had both, including mine. There have only been a handful of weddings where they had one or the other, and those also happened to be ones rife with etiquette faux pas.

AddieCake · January 2015

lyndausvi said:

marie2785 said:

lyndausvi said:

marie2785 said:

Confirm with your church they allow receiving lines. The church FI and I are getting married at does not, since they need everyone and everything out of the church within 30 min of the end of the wedding so that the next wedding or mass can begin on time. My friend did not know this, but got told at her rehearsal (and then warned me so I knew well in advance of my wedding). I think most churches allow it, but always good to check.
Personally I'm a table visit fan. They feel less rushed. I always need to use the restroom after church (small bladder...), so as a guest I either skip, or rush through the receiving line as fast as possible.

My SIL's Catholic church gave them the option of having communion or a receiving line. They could not have both.

First time I had heard that, before. They opted for the receiving line instead of a full mass with communion.

Thats...an interesting solution from the church, and makes me wonder if the receiving line issue is a Catholic thing since the church I mentioned above is also Catholic (from what I can tell, many Catholic churches schedule 3-4 wedding very close together most Saturdays). My church didn't even give us an option not to have a full mass since technically 2 catholics marrying must have a nuptial mass, although I'm sure some churches don't follow the guidelines perfectly.

I've never thought twice about a receiving line. After every Sunday mass there would be a receiving line of sorts were most people stopped to say a quick hello to the priest (and others) on their way out from church. Those who opted out would walk down the side aisle and out the other doors. I've always viewed a receiving line much like that. If you don't want to be in the receiving line just don't walk down the main aisle.

As like Addie said, they are not mutually exclusive. We had a impromptu receiving line that doubled as the line to the bar. We still did table visits.

That was LoLo who said that, not me. I'm team one or the other. If I see you in a receiving line, that's enough for me. I know you are busy socializing and dancing, etc at your reception, and if you have already greeted and interacted with me in a receiving line, I don't need you to come find me at my table; I'll seek you out if I want to talk more or will surely bump into you at some point during the event somewhere in the room. I don't expect you to specifically make a visit to my table. I would not find not doing so rude in any way.

mlg78 · January 2015

lolo883 said:

I haaaaaaaaaaaaate receiving lines. We did table visits. It was nice to actually chat with and meet everyone on my husband's side who I didn't know without holding up a line. Also, it was a great opportunity for our photographer to get pictures. Lastly, some people don't go to the church and only go to the reception...which baffles me when there isn't a gap and my reception was just 1 mile away from my church but whatever... So by doing table visits you are able to see more people.
They're not mutually exclusive, you know. A receiving line, if done, should be in addition to table visits.

I've always heard to do one or the other. I've never been to a wedding where both have been done. In fact, I looked up a TK post from when I was planning and I asked the most efficient receiving line and the bulk of people responded that table visits were better...so I guess the point of view has changed on TK since March 2013.

LtPowers · January 2015

Certainly the mere fact that you had a receiving line doesn't mean you cannot visit each table in turn during the reception. But where the latter is used in place of a receiving line, Miss Manners warns that it's nearly impossible to ensure that no one is missed. The receiving line is far more reliable.

For the OP, keep in mind that one is receiving one's guests to the reception, not seeing them off from the ceremony. It seems to me that the ideal option is to station yourself and your parents at the entrance to the cocktail area and greet each guest as he or she enters for cocktails -- which would mean you should be in position a few minutes before the scheduled start of the cocktail hour.

Powers &8^]

mlg78 · January 2015

For the couple to be there for the start of the cocktail hour pretty much eliminates the ability to take any pictures unless they're all done pre-ceremony since cocktail hour is when most pictures are taken...unless you have a gap...in which case you need to be smacked.

LtPowers · January 2015

mlg78 said:

For the couple to be there for the start of the cocktail hour pretty much eliminates the ability to take any pictures unless they're all done pre-ceremony since cocktail hour is when most pictures are taken...unless you have a gap...in which case you need to be smacked.

Well, yes, you could move the receiving line to the reception venue if it's separate from the cocktail venue.

Powers &8^]

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

AddieCake said:

lyndausvi said:

marie2785 said:

lyndausvi said:

marie2785 said:

Confirm with your church they allow receiving lines. The church FI and I are getting married at does not, since they need everyone and everything out of the church within 30 min of the end of the wedding so that the next wedding or mass can begin on time. My friend did not know this, but got told at her rehearsal (and then warned me so I knew well in advance of my wedding). I think most churches allow it, but always good to check.

Personally I'm a table visit fan. They feel less rushed. I always need to use the restroom after church (small bladder...), so as a guest I either skip, or rush through the receiving line as fast as possible.

My SIL's Catholic church gave them the option of having communion or a receiving line. They could not have both.

First time I had heard that, before. They opted for the receiving line instead of a full mass with communion.

Thats...an interesting solution from the church, and makes me wonder if the receiving line issue is a Catholic thing since the church I mentioned above is also Catholic (from what I can tell, many Catholic churches schedule 3-4 wedding very close together most Saturdays). My church didn't even give us an option not to have a full mass since technically 2 catholics marrying must have a nuptial mass, although I'm sure some churches don't follow the guidelines perfectly.

I've never thought twice about a receiving line. After every Sunday mass there would be a receiving line of sorts were most people stopped to say a quick hello to the priest (and others) on their way out from church. Those who opted out would walk down the side aisle and out the other doors. I've always viewed a receiving line much like that. If you don't want to be in the receiving line just don't walk down the main aisle.

As like Addie said, they are not mutually exclusive. We had a impromptu receiving line that doubled as the line to the bar. We still did table visits.

That was LoLo who said that, not me. I'm team one or the other. If I see you in a receiving line, that's enough for me. I know you are busy socializing and dancing, etc at your reception, and if you have already greeted and interacted with me in a receiving line, I don't need you to come find me at my table; I'll seek you out if I want to talk more or will surely bump into you at some point during the event somewhere in the room. I don't expect you to specifically make a visit to my table. I would not find not doing so rude in any way.

My point was you're still going to greet/speak to/socialize with people at your reception, especially those who skipped the ceremony, if any. It may not be as formal of a process as table visits in lieu of a RL, but you're not going to ignore your guests.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

The PP's sentiment was RL= bad because you can't visit as long, table visits= better because you can chat/see more people. Well... yeah, but having a receiving line doesn't preclude you from doing those things. In my case I was happy to do both, because there were people who came to only the ceremony but not the reception. I wouldn't have seen them if I'd done only table visits.

Some people skipped my RL and went straight to cocktail hour. I caught up with them later. Other people left as soon as they finished eating dinner; I had already seen them. Some people I only saw on the dance floor and not at their tables. I still spoke to everyone at my wedding.*

*Except the guy who skipped the ceremony, got so drunk at cocktail hour/dinner that he was escorted out for puking into a potted tree before I even finished my salmon.

huskypuppy14 · January 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

AddieCake said:

lolo883 said:

I haaaaaaaaaaaaate receiving lines. We did table visits. It was nice to actually chat with and meet everyone on my husband's side who I didn't know without holding up a line. Also, it was a great opportunity for our photographer to get pictures. Lastly, some people don't go to the church and only go to the reception...which baffles me when there isn't a gap and my reception was just 1 mile away from my church but whatever... So by doing table visits you are able to see more people.
They're not mutually exclusive, you know. A receiving line, if done, should be in addition to table visits.

Lots of people choose one over the other. I've never seen both done.

Almost every wedding I've been to has had both, including mine. There have only been a handful of weddings where they had one or the other, and those also happened to be ones rife with etiquette faux pas.

Plenty of weddings don't have receiving lines. Mine didn't. I've only seen receiving lines at church weddings, which mine was not.

Though, the ones that did have receiving lines, most also had table visits, in my experience.

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

huskypuppy14 said:

Cookie Pusher said:

AddieCake said:

lolo883 said:

I haaaaaaaaaaaaate receiving lines. We did table visits. It was nice to actually chat with and meet everyone on my husband's side who I didn't know without holding up a line. Also, it was a great opportunity for our photographer to get pictures. Lastly, some people don't go to the church and only go to the reception...which baffles me when there isn't a gap and my reception was just 1 mile away from my church but whatever... So by doing table visits you are able to see more people.
They're not mutually exclusive, you know. A receiving line, if done, should be in addition to table visits.

Lots of people choose one over the other. I've never seen both done.

Almost every wedding I've been to has had both, including mine. There have only been a handful of weddings where they had one or the other, and those also happened to be ones rife with etiquette faux pas.

Plenty of weddings don't have receiving lines. Mine didn't. I've only seen receiving lines at church weddings, which mine was not.

Though, the ones that did have receiving lines, most also had table visits, in my experience.

I think it's far less common to have one or the other. My circles tend to be very social (and wedding attendance of 100+), so receiving lines and table visits being done at the same event are very common to ensure greeting as many guests as possible. I've only been to a handful of weddings where the couple did only one or the other, and they just coincidentally had some other etiquette issues.

I had a couple who completely bypassed us completely in our receiving line (they stopped to chat with other members of the BP) and avoided us while we were doing table visits. No biggie since I was ignored during the receiving line at their wedding (and they didn't do table visits).

JellyBean52513 · January 2015

Also OP, your cocktail hair should definitely not be longer than 90 mins at the absolute most. Try to cut that down to an actual hour.

BlueBirdMB · January 2015

We had a receiving line and still managed to socialize with each table. I always recommend doing a receiving line because when we went around to the tables, people weren't there- some were dancing, some in the bathroom, etc.

We had 120 guests and it took 10 minutes to do a receiving line. It was quick, painless, and was a way to thank every guest.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

Receiving lines that consist of only the parents and B &G are just fine, IMO. They can go very quickly if done properly, and you end up spending the same amount of time greeting guests and briefly chatting with them in the line as you would do during table visits in my experience.

Out of 30+ weddings I have been a part of or attended, the couple either did a receiving line or table visits- they did not do both. And those that did table visits basically came by the table, said hi, took a photo or two, then left to go to the next table. It's not as if they spent any meaningful amount of time chatting with each person at each table.

MandyMost · January 2015

I haven't seen a receiving line at any wedding I've ever been to as an adult. Most have been non-church weddings, but even the few church weddings I've been to (Catholic or other Christian denominations) haven't had receiving lines. Honestly, I didn't realize they were still done.

Personally, I don't like them because I don't like lines. Who wants to stand in a line just to say hello?! I did my best to make sure there wouldn't be bar lines or bathroom lines or food lines of any kind, I wasn't about to plan a "say hello" line on purpose.

We mingled during the second half of cocktail hour, and then did table visits to about 75% of the tables. The other 25% were essentially our college and/or high school friends that we had already talked to during cocktail hour and/or were dancing with and hanging out with later in the reception. We tried to keep the dinner service quick (I don't like dinners that take hours because of the big gaps between the courses), so there wasn't time to visit every table then. However, I feel confident that we greeted all of our guests appropriately, and I know they were hosted appropriately (no one had to open their wallets for anything, and there was plenty of space, seating, food, and drink). We had about 150 people, 18 tables.

Pretty much every other wedding I've been to was similar in that there were table visits, but the "friend" tables maybe didn't get visited, although the individuals all did get greeted at different points.

huskypuppy14 · January 2015

I always find it interesting the different experiences everyone has. In my circle, receiving lines are not common. Though, everyone in my circle seems to do table visits. I don't recall a wedding that didn't have table visits regardless if they had a receiving line or not.

Honestly, a receiving line would not be feasible for my wedding. Everything was at the same place. The wedding was outside and then the cocktail hour/reception were in the same room. My husband and I had pictures right after the ceremony, so when would we have done the receiving line?

I just don't like the insinuation that someone is rude if they don't have a receiving line.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

huskypuppy14 said:

I always find it interesting the different experiences everyone has. In my circle, receiving lines are not common. Though, everyone in my circle seems to do table visits. I don't recall a wedding that didn't have table visits regardless if they had a receiving line or not.

Honestly, a receiving line would not be feasible for my wedding. Everything was at the same place. The wedding was outside and then the cocktail hour/reception were in the same room. My husband and I had pictures right after the ceremony, so when would we have done the receiving line?

I just don't like the insinuation that someone is rude if they don't have a receiving line.

So did we. We couldn't do a receiving line at the church because we had to be out of there before evening mass, so we did pictures at the church and then a receiving line at our reception venue right before the food stations opened up for dinner. We had about 150 guests and I think the line took about 15 minutes?

We opted to do the receiving line and not to do table visits because our seating was dispersed throughout several rooms all on the same floor of a mansion, and we were afraid that we would miss people if we tried to do table visits- and we would have.

apromise22 · January 2015

Hi everyone, I have a follow up question. I'm still in turmoil about when to start the ceremony (lol). What are you thoughts on having a start time of a quarter to the hour--is this unheard of/bizarre/something to avoid? I just keep getting stuck on the thought that starting at 11:30 would allow too much time and noon would allow too little.

How much time should I allocate for receiving line?

Re: How much time should I allocate for receiving line?

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