I think the universe is telling me... (update in post)

l9i · January 2015

... it's time to move and make some major decisions.

So DH started his internship yesterday which was supposed to lead into a fulltime position. He already knows this isn't going to offer anything fulltime when he graduates in August and isn't a good fit for him (EHS field and company doesn't value EHS - bad combo). We've been talking about relocating for awhile bc he's had a hard time finding something in his field where we are (small town). Yesterday I found out I became fully vested in my retirement which is awesome bc if I move I can talk the total with me. I also happened to get a voicemail from a recruiter yesterday. It seems like everything is pointing to taking that chance and us moving to a new location where there are better opportunities for both of us.

It makes me nervous because both of our families are here, but it also makes me incredibly excited for new opportunities and exploring life. We are still young and don't have kids yet so I feel like it's a perfect time. We have some cities in mind we have looked into, but I thought... If you could pick up and relocate anywhere in the country how do you chose where?? That part is overwhelming!

Anyone gone through this or have advice?

STARMOON44 · January 2015

Whatever is the closest city that offers good career opportunities near the families. As I get older and see friends struggling with new babies far from grand parents who also need hands on help from time to time, my focus is on staying as close as I can. I like running into people I've known since I was a little girl at random bars and having meaningful places nearby.

jenna8984 · January 2015

I agree with PP that it's easier to not go too, too far. When I was 22, I grduated college and packed up my shit and moved 3,000 miles away on my own just for the hell of it. It was great- I was young and single and met a ton of people. I would't take it back for the world, but the novelty definitely wore off and I really missed my family. I'd get so depressed seeing online my brother and friends all getting together for football games and birthdays and I wasn't there. One thing that really affected me was the feeling that no one "had my back" in an emergency. You know? Back home if I got a flat tire at midnight or my house got broken into, I had 30 people I could count on at the drop of a hat. It was really overwhelming to feel like I didn't have a single person in the new city like that. I had made drinking buddies but no one I could call at a time like that.

It would be a little easier for you since you and DH have each other, but still. For that reason, I'd look within 4 hours of where you live. Buuuut if you don't care about that and just want a kick ass place, I would personally chose Denver or San Diego!

novella1186 · January 2015

I'm in a very similar situation to you. FI and I work at the same company and it has been acquired so both our jobs were in jeopardy. We live in a very small town so if we lose our jobs here, we're pretty much screwed because there is NOTHING around here at all. The nearest bigger city is at least an hour away in any direction. Before the acquisition even happened, though, we were talking about leaving because neither of us are in love with our jobs (he has no room for growth in his) and we hate this tiny town. But we'd be leaving our families and we really love spending time with his family so it's kind of tough.

We started researching cities that were 1. Bigger than ours (which isn't hard to find) so that if one of us loses our job in the future there's opportunity to find a new one at least. 2. In a geographical location we don't hate (also not hard because neither of us are that picky and we're already in the midwest lol) and 3. Has both of our industries in it (again, not so hard. He's in an industry that exists EVERYWHERE and I'm in clinical research which I could do at a lot of different places).

We came up with so many options that we were able to narrow it down to areas we like the most and/or where we have some friends or family nearby. As soon as one-- or both-- of us gets fired, or as soon as we're fully vested in our 401ks (whichever comes first) we're just going to start applying to jobs in our chosen city and see where it goes.

l9i · January 2015

@STARMOON44

Good point. We do want kids at some point and it would be nice for the help of grandparents. We've been looking both close and far away. There's about three cities within 1, 2, and 4 hours away we are looking at.

@jenna8984

Yes, the emergency thing is something you don't always think about. It is incredibly nice to be able to call on my family, DH's family, or friends if we are in need. And yes, Denver was an option we were looking into... but that would be across the country

l9i · January 2015

novella1186 said:

I'm in a very similar situation to you. FI and I work at the same company and it has been acquired so both our jobs were in jeopardy. We live in a very small town so if we lose our jobs here, we're pretty much screwed because there is NOTHING around here at all. The nearest bigger city is at least an hour away in any direction. Before the acquisition even happened, though, we were talking about leaving because neither of us are in love with our jobs (he has no room for growth in his) and we hate this tiny town. But we'd be leaving our families and we really love spending time with his family so it's kind of tough.

We started researching cities that were 1. Bigger than ours (which isn't hard to find) so that if one of us loses our job in the future there's opportunity to find a new one at least. 2. In a geographical location we don't hate (also not hard because neither of us are that picky and we're already in the midwest lol) and 3. Has both of our industries in it (again, not so hard. He's in an industry that exists EVERYWHERE and I'm in clinical research which I could do at a lot of different places).

We came up with so many options that we were able to narrow it down to areas we like the most and/or where we have some friends or family nearby. As soon as one-- or both-- of us gets fired, or as soon as we're fully vested in our 401ks (whichever comes first) we're just going to start applying to jobs in our chosen city and see where it goes.

Small town midwest represent!

Yeah, for both of our industries a larger city would be best. DH is environmental/EHS so he could potentially find more of a wilderness type job but then I'd be SOL, so there needs to be at least the outskirts of a city.

We figured we'd move eventually but I thought I had another year to be vested in my 401K so we'd hold out until then. I'm not heartbroken looking elsewhere. Yes the pay and benefits are good but I'm not in love with the company or job. It's not bad, but not "OMG LOVE IT" either.

larrygaga · January 2015

I would move to a smaller town in Minnesota.

chibiyui · January 2015

Hmmm. H has been tempted to up and move for awhile now. I'm torn. One one hand, I'd love to move back to the Philly area, and I have a bunch of friends in New York. On the other hand, I'm less than an hour away from my Mom now, and I know she'd be sad if we moved away. I'd be sad too, I love having mom close by. And I know we'd have plenty of grandparents nearby for when the babies come.

morewineplease · January 2015

We packed up and moved (about 6 hour drive away) about 2 years ago. It is actually closer to his family but everyone in my family is back home because no one leaves there. I love the adventure we have had and I feel like I have grown a lot as a person having moved, but you do miss things. One of the main things I found myself missing is girl time with a close friend. Before I made any friends here it was hard because I sometimes needed to vent and there was no one. He would listen but sometimes you need a girl brain to understand where your coming from.

As for how we picked a place, we made a list of areas that we each were willing to move too. Places where the cost of living was not much more than where we were, but were still big enough to be fun for a couple with no kids. Then we moved to the first place where I got a job offer.

edit - words

mrsk616 · January 2015

FI wants to move to texas. im not done with school and was hoping to finish it while here. but i keep hearing that the job search is great down there. but no family would drive me crazy as i am not a sociable person.

ShesSoCold · January 2015

H and I are planning a move to NW Montana this spring. We both new we wanted out of here (suburban Chicago) forever and somehow decided Montana sounded cool. We visited there, did a ton of research and the more we find out, the more we like it. We don't want kids so that makes the decision easier for us.

l9i · January 2015

Thanks for the insight ladies!

It's tough because we like the thought of moving to the Northwest and there are a lot of opportunities there but it is incredibly far away from our family and friends. Granted I have an Aunt and Cousin in WA but I'm not incredibly close with them (bc distance) although I'm sure I'd spend more time and get to know them better.

However, there are some cities in the Midwest too, the furthest being 3.5-4 hours away. I spent a year of college there and we've always talked about moving there. These places are close enough we could still visit and drive home if there was ever an emergency, etc.

I have a phone conversation planned for tonight with a possible lead in the closest city to us, so we will see! However, the more important thing would be finding DH a job, his are harder to find.

SBmini · January 2015

Do it!!! DH and I picked up and moved to another state four years ago and we have no regrets. We were able to buy a house and live so much more comfortably than we did in CA. We talk about moving back, and one day maybe we will, but for now, we really like our new home. And having picked up and moved once, I would totally be open to doing it again.

buttercup1958 · January 2015

I say go for it! V and I are planning on moving to different places for grad school. I wish we could go to the same school but, there aren't many if any schools, that offer the degree that I want and the one he wants. So we will be long distance for several years. That's the only thing I'm not looking forward too.

l9i · January 2015

So as I mentioned I had a phone conversation last night with a recruiter in a city about 45 min-1 hour away. It went well and it sounded like a really good opportunity. I'd need to send my resume, interview, and get more specifics of an offer but from what I can tell it would be a consulting position which i think would be a huge leap for my career this early, a pay increase, and a smaller environment. As I said I don't hate my current job, but I'm not in love, I get bored with the same day to day. i think this would allow me the challenge and variety I want. So everything sounds very good, I think that is what worries me. I feel like I'm waiting for the "but...." Am I crazy? I am going to look into it more because honestly I can always decline, but I am interested.

Also, I have to think about H. Yes, there would be more possibilities for him to find a job, but what if he still can't? Then we move again right after I started a new job?

Gahhh... advice would be appreciated

novella1186 · January 2015

l9i said:

So as I mentioned I had a phone conversation last night with a recruiter in a city about 45 min-1 hour away. It went well and it sounded like a really good opportunity. I'd need to send my resume, interview, and get more specifics of an offer but from what I can tell it would be a consulting position which i think would be a huge leap for my career this early, a pay increase, and a smaller environment. As I said I don't hate my current job, but I'm not in love, I get bored with the same day to day. i think this would allow me the challenge and variety I want. So everything sounds very good, I think that is what worries me. I feel like I'm waiting for the "but...." Am I crazy? I am going to look into it more because honestly I can always decline, but I am interested.
Also, I have to think about H. Yes, there would be more possibilities for him to find a job, but what if he still can't? Then we move again right after I started a new job?
Gahhh... advice would be appreciated

Just get more info. Do your own research if you can, and then discuss everything with your FI. It sounds like it could be a really awesome opportunity for you! Don't bog yourself down with the "what-ifs."

If it all pans out to be as good as it sounds, do it! You'll never regret seizing an opportunity when it comes to you. You may very well regret letting the opportunity go by because of the what-if fears.

I think the universe is telling me... (update in post)

Re: I think the universe is telling me... (update in post)

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