Anxiety over bridal shower

Re: Anxiety over bridal shower

• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  maryeallen30 said:

  My friend is getting married in July and has said from the beginning that she does not want a shower. Being her MOH, and only bridesmaid, I feel that it is my duty to support her and have not planned anything. Her mother, on the other hand, has been pressuring her to have one and now even though she still does not really want one, she is leaning towards okaying it because of her mother. What should I do? I have my wedding coming up in September after her's and am not sure what I can afford with being the only bridesmaid. Please help!

  Support your bride. If she doesn't want one, don't let her mother bully her into one. If she wants a shower, I would hope that since her mother is pushing for it so hard, she would plan/host it. If you're dragged into it, bean dip. You are under no obligation to throw a shower.

  
  

  ETA: I'm still asleep and @londonlisa 's idea was better.

  
  

  
  

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• LondonLisa member

  

  January 2015

  Good news- you absolutely do not have to do anything about a shower, so don't let it cause you anxiety.

  
  

  A wedding shower is a gift, and you are not required to host one. Whatever she decides with her mother re: the shower, is fine for you- because you do not have to pay for it. You are not required to host or do anything. If her mother wants one so bad, she can organise and host it (although I do side-eye mother-thrown showers, but that is not of your concern). You are welcome to help organise but this is 100% not required. 

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• mlg78 member

  

  January 2015

  I don't think it's appropriate to side-eye mother-thrown showers any longer.  Lots of mothers are throwing showers these days...times have changed.

  That being said, if she doesn't want a shower, don't throw her a shower.  As you've probably read on the boards, your only duty is to show up fairly sober on her wedding day wearing a dress...nothing more.

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• lovegood90 member

  

  January 2015

  Just because you're MOH doesn't mean you're obligated to throw her a shower, even if she wanted one. Your only duties are to stand next to her on the wedding day, in a dress within your budget, and smile for pictures. Throwing showers, parties, etc are extras, but if you can't afford it then that's totally fine. If her mom keeps pressuring her to have a shower and she gives in, then someone else like her mom can offer to throw it.

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• blabla89 member

  

  January 2015

  maryeallen30 said:

  My friend is getting married in July and has said from the beginning that she does not want a shower. Being her MOH, and only bridesmaid, I feel that it is my duty to support her and have not planned anything. Her mother, on the other hand, has been pressuring her to have one and now even though she still does not really want one, she is leaning towards okaying it because of her mother. What should I do? I have my wedding coming up in September after her's and am not sure what I can afford with being the only bridesmaid. Please help!

  No MOH is required to host a shower. If it's not financially feasible for you, that is totally okay. Don't worry about it. If her mother is pushing for a shower, then her mother should be the one to host it.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2015

  If the bride succumbs to her Mothers pressure that doesn't mean that you have to do anything.  If her Mom wants her to have a shower so fucking bad then her Mom can plan one.  Then all you have to do is show up with the rest of the guests and have fun with the bride.

  
  

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