None of my bridesmaids have met the others---help!

KelseyS7610 · July 2010

I'm getting married in just under two years. I have one best friend who I know for sure will be my maid of honor. I have two other close friends who will be bridesmaids. Then I have my fiance's sister. Problem....none of them have ever met the others! Will this be difficult/akward? How do I get them to all get along...or even meet eachother? Help please :]

stina93446 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_none-of-bridesmaids-met-others?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e2b889bc-a791-4dc3-b2fe-9e97cccd2976Post:44646366-6769-479a-896e-42c56e8e490f">None of my bridesmaids have met the others---help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm getting married in just under two years. I have one best friend who I know for sure will be my maid of honor. I have two other close friends who will be bridesmaids. Then I have my fiance's sister. Problem....none of them have ever met the others! Will this be difficult/akward? How do I get them to all get along...or even meet eachother? Help please :]
Posted by KelseyS7610[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Do nothing. They're bms. They aren't required to know each other, nor are they required to LIKE each other if they happen to not. Your wedding is 2 years away/ Do NOT pick your BP members until at least a year out. Don't even worry about this non problem you have here. </div>

deb84 · July 2010

First of all if you haven't asked them yet DON'T!!! A lot of things can change between now and then. Ask about 8 months out.

To answer your question: You ask the girls you are closest to and can't imagine not having standing by your side. It doesn't matter at all if they haven't met yet. Do they all life close? There might be pre-wedding parties where they can be introduced/have a chance to get to know each other (showers, bachelorette parties, etc). If not things will be fine. Wedding paries have been made up of different groups of friends for years and years and years and it has worked out. I am having my sister, hs friend, college roommate and FSIL. They are all from different social groups but they all have two things in common. I love them and want them to be a part of my day and they are all my friends. I'm not worried at all about it.

bablingbrooke · July 2010

Mine became acquainted with each other when one of them asked me to send her everyone's contact info so I sent out a mass email with everyone's numbers and emails. Wait for one of them to ask you to do the same then do that. At the very least they'll meet each other when shopping for dresses or something like that.

zitiqueen · July 2010

Have they never been in a room with strangers before? How on earth do they function in the real world?

Jelenny · July 2010

none of the girls i want standing up knew each other....but my fi turned 30 one of the girls was in town so i just invited them all over to celebrate the fi's bday - nothing formal or wedding related....they met, they spoke, they didn't gouge each other's eyes out (not that they would)...

no biggie

trix1223 · July 2010

It's way too early to ask anyone yet. Wait at least 15 months, or until you're about 8 months out to ask anyone. I know, I know, these are your dearest friends and family and NOTHING will change.

Except that everyone who comes here asking how to kick out a BM because the relationship has now changed thought the same thing.

When you do ask, remember that the one thing they all have in common is you. They don't have to know each other. They know you. They don't have to like each other. They like you. They don't have to become a new social unit, and start to wrap your head around the fact that they probably won't become a new social group.

My DIL's BMs (including my 2 DDs) met for the first time at her shower. It was fine. They were cordial, friendly, and helpful. They had fun at the RD and the wedding. And they've never talked since.

My DD had 2 distinct groups in her WP: sister/sisters-in-law and college friends. Again, they met for the first time at the shower. They got along fine. They spoke and laughed at the wedding. And family and friends haven't been in touch since July 11, 2009: the day of the wedding.

In 15 months, after you've chosen your WP, give your MOH their contact info: email addresses is a good place to start. That way they can get in touch if they choose to plan a shower or b-party.

GL. Did I mention to wait about 15 months before choosing your WP?

CTGirl30 · July 2010

The good news is that you don't have to worry about your BMs just yet since it's way too early for you to be asking anyone anyway. Wait until you're under the year mark and then ask.

And when you have asked...don't worry that they haven't ever met before. They don't need to know each other - they're your friends and relatives - and they have you in common. If they're good enough people to be your friends then they should be relatively mature, nice people, right? Which means they'll be able to get along just fine when the time comes for them to be around each other. But they do NOT need to become friends on their own and it would be unreasonable for you to expect that.

I'm sure everyone will be able to function just fine.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

It won't be awkward unless you have a bunch of pre-wedding planning events or getting to know you events for them. They don't really need to know each other.

ehathewa · July 2010

I was in a wedding where none of us knew each other (BF from College, BF from work (me), and SIL). The bride wrote an email that gave a little intro bio on each of us... and we took it from there. We started chatting via email, etc. and had fun planning a shower together.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

None of my attendants were in the same room together until the day of the wedding. Miraculously, everyone survived with only minor injuries.

deepcovejackie · July 2010

Your BM's are all adults. Is there any reason to expect them not to get along? If not, then I'm sure they'll all be fine.

I agree with PP's, wait to ask your WP members.

Jasonbride · July 2010

I was in a wedding for my childhood friend and hadn't met any of her other BM's since I live out of state and could only come in town for the actual wedding. We had a blast and got along great even though we had never met before the big day. It'll be fine, they all have you in common and that's enough to make the day not awkward at all.

PeonyPrincesskdd · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_none-of-bridesmaids-met-others?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e2b889bc-a791-4dc3-b2fe-9e97cccd2976Post:44646366-6769-479a-896e-42c56e8e490f">None of my bridesmaids have met the others---help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm getting married in just under two years. I have one best friend who I know for sure will be my maid of honor. I have two other close friends who will be bridesmaids. Then I have my fiance's sister. Problem....none of them have ever met the others! Will this be difficult/akward? How do I get them to all get along...or even meet eachother? Help please :]
Posted by KelseyS7610[/QUOTE]

They are not required to know each other or get along. I know brides who had BM's from all over the country and different states/towns etc.

Why do they need to get along? Who says they won't get along??

They will most likely only see each other at the wedding and rehearsal dinner.. and also if they make the shower and/or bach party.

They do not have to even know each other. I have been in weddings and haven't met a bm until the day of the wedding because she wasn't at shower and I wasn't at bach.

It wasn't the end of the world that we didn't know each other before hand.

Same as how bm's never get to meet the gm before the wedding sometimes (because bm and gm are not at showers/bach together... they might meet at the R.D. but that is it.

Seriously, with 2 years until your wedding you have other things to worry about, and this is not a big deal at all.

clarereedy · July 2010

My bridesmaids didn't know each other with the exception of my two cousins. Four of them were able to join us for a dress shopping trip and then we did one more dress shopping trip with 2 of the girls. Both days we went for lunch after and had a few drinks together. I have sent the girls e-mails monthly - not asking them to do anything, just filling them in on how the plans have been going. They respond and we all send e-mails back and forth. My MOH sent e-mails among all of them when starting to organize my shower. The five girls will all be in the same room for the first time for the shower this coming Sunday.

twilight.rose · July 2010

It really isn't that big of a deal if your BMs don't know one another. If they want to take the initiative to become aquainted, they will. Otherwise, their only real responsibility is to stand with you on your wedding day, which they can do regardless of their relationships to one another.

None of my bridesmaids have met the others---help!

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