Cleansing Sucks!

[Deleted User] · January 2015

Ugh! I do a cleanse every January after the holiday eating madness, and boy- does it suck!

It's even a food based cleanse (meaning you eat food, you don't just "live" on like water and maple syrup for 2 days), but still- awfulness. I have a massive headache, jaw ache, and muscle aches today. Day two is always the worst and I almost didn't do it this year, but I actually feel a lot better once it's done so it's worth it, but in the moment- this is hell.

End bitch session.

Does anyone else cleanse? Do you like it and/or see any benefits once you're done?

ETA: Why the fuck did I post this on this board? This is not a wedding woe- this is chit chat. I'm blaming the cleanse.

VarunaTT · January 2015

It's also bullshit, which is why you might feel gross:

http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/the-detox-scam-how-to-spot-it-and-how-to-avoid-it/

[Deleted User] · January 2015

Interesting. I personally find it helpful. It helps me regulate my "restroom events" and I don't feel sluggish for as long after the holidays.

It used to take me about 3-4 weeks after removing the holiday junk food from my diet to feel "normal" again and to feel my usual energy levels return- doing a cleanse addresses those problems for me in a week.

Personally, I'll take it.

VarunaTT · January 2015

3-4 week of just eating normally will do the same thing w/out falling for gimmicks that have no proven medicinal value and should be the same cost.

ETA: Oh, you're saying a week. It should really only take 3-4 days of eating right for anything to "flush out". The whole human body does it all on it's own, it doesn't really need special help.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

That's my point. 3-4 weeks of eating normally. The food based cleanse I do isn't actually that different from what I usually eat, but I do use some ingredients during the cleanse that aren't a part of my every day life- I just don't like them very much so I generally don't cook with those ingredients.

Quinoa, soup, and a veggie salad are regulars in my non-holiday eating life, but for some reason, doing this cleanse specifically "re-sets" my "feel goods" after 1 week instead of 3-4.

I don't know that it actually has any scientific health benefits (I don't run before and after medical tests), but I perceive that I feel better- and feeling good is a part of overall health. For all I know this is a placebo effect, but I'll still take it. Especially since I don't think I'm doing damage to my body by eating quinoa, veggies, and soup- no known food allergies.

0Face · January 2015

*squishes VarunaTT*

*Barbie* · January 2015

maybe the key would be to eat a more balanced diet all of the time so you don't feel the need to cleanse or binge on junk during the holidays.I managed to lose weight Nov & Dec by eating fairly healthy foods and working out. Did I eat ALL THE COOKIES - no, but I still had some desserts and some wine/booze without going overboard.

I've done the Beachbody 21 day reset (~2 years ago - essentially a whole foods/non processed/vegan diet by the end of the 3 weeks). I don't know that i would say it was awful ( i was rarely hungry, didn't get headaches, didn't feel crummy, lost some weight, got sick of salads by 1 week in) - but it did screw my digestive system up for weeks afterwards because i wanted to go back to my normal diet which is still fairly healthy overall (typical meal is a lean protein, veggies, fruit, maybe a grain/starch, maybe dairy), but includes meat and some junk food.

6fsn · January 2015

Wouldn't it be easier to cut back on the holiday junk?

[Deleted User] · January 2015

I do eat healthy about 11 months of the year, and allow myself some sweets / treats too, but I allow myself to go crazy from Turkey Day through January 1st because I get a lot of foods/dishes during those 5 weeks that aren't around most of the rest of the year.

Grandmas' cheesecake?" Christmas only.

Homemade cranberry sauce? TG and Christmas only.

Those cookies it takes your aunt 5 hours to make so she only makes them at Christmas time...? Yeah.

There-in lies my major problem.

ETA: And my lack of will-power (major problem)

PMeg819 · January 2015

There is so much bullshit in this post it's unbelievable.

VarunaTT · January 2015

Seriously, having a massive headache, jaw ache(?!), and muscle aches from food or lack of type of food is not normal. Maybe MAYBE a caffeine withdrawal, but there is something else going on there.

*Barbie* · January 2015

VarunaTT said:

Seriously, having a massive headache, jaw ache(?!), and muscle aches from food or lack of type of food is not normal. Maybe MAYBE a caffeine withdrawal, but there is something else going on there.

Caffeine withdrawal is hell - I get headaches and hot flashes.

FWIW - cranberry sauce is insanely easy to make (3 ingredients, one pot), and cranberries freeze very well, so you can make it all year round. (i do) most cookies and cakes also hold up well in the freezer.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

PMeg819 said:

There is so much bullshit in this post it's unbelievable.

Such as?

PMeg819 · January 2015

Cleansing for starters. Look at the link Varuna sent over. Learn what functions your liver, kidneys, intestines, and well all of your body do. It is perfectly fine to say "I overindulged over the holidays and my body doesn't appreciate being filled with processed food, too much sugar, etc."

But to then make a leap that you need a fucking cleanse is just moronic. Drinking water with tons of lemon and maple syrup with some cayenne isn't going to fucking cleanse your internal organs. Detoxes and cleanses are bs. If you are feeling like you have muscle aches, are irritable, etc. that is not a sign of "toxins" being released. It is a sign that your body is lacking nutrients and can't function properly.

Your body doesn't get one day of good nutrition and go "oh hey I'm going to right myself pronto!" You cannot eat junk for a month like you admitted and think that in 24 hours of returning to proper diet, etc. that you are going to be the same. That is not how your body works. If you are irregular you should consider probiotics, a healthy diet, and possibly some supplemental fiber. Drink plenty of water. Eat a balanced diet that meets your caloric needs. Exercise. Yes, it is not instantaneous but you do not need some dumb ass cleanse.

VarunaTT · January 2015

The most amazing cleanser in the world is your liver and digestive system. It really doesn't need any sort of help doing that. Choosing the food you put in your body to be the most nutritious is the most important. And over-indulgence on a minor scale like you're talking about is simply not that bad. It's better to over indulge and enjoy and then get back to "normal" than have any sort of guilt or punishment like a cleanse associated with it.

IOW, eat what the hell you want, when you want and don't guilt trip yourself. I suggest checking out Disrupt Your Diet, Go Kaleo, and Eat the Food on FB for better tips than a cleanse.

dharmabunny · January 2015

Hey V, do you have that agnostic eating link that you shared on FB one time? I really liked that article and it seems particularly pertinent here.

larrygaga · January 2015

Hey are you doing a cleanse because you don't have a liver?

Heffalump · January 2015

I love almost everything in this post.

Also, the local public radio station had a very similar story recently--basically everything you all said: maybe don't overindulge in the first place (at least not gluttonously so); if you do stray from a healthy diet, get back on track; if you haven't been exercising as much due to the holidays, get back into your routine; let your body do its thing and don't further stress it with junk science.

I mean hey, if it makes you feel better, Feeley, then that's your business, and more power to you. (Same reason I let my kid put three bandaids on a papercut--there's something to be said for the placebo effect.) But if it's making you miserable and it doesn't actually accomplish anything, then maybe be a little kinder to your body and ditch the phony "cleanse."

Oh, and ditto Barbie and cranberry sauce. I make it from scratch throughout the fall and winter, and if you can work a measuring cup and you own a saucepan and a stove, you're all set. I love making it, because compared to mashed potatoes, stuffing, yams, etc., it requires the least effort by far.

VarunaTT · January 2015

Dharma, I can't find the article now, but I think it was actually written by Fitzgerald. He definitely has an agenda, b/c he's promoting his own book; this is one of those instances where I think the agenda is probably a good thing. It's called Diet Cults and is about all of the fad diets that develop cult followings like Paleo, South Beach, Atkins, 4 Hour Body, etc.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

PMeg819 said:

Cleansing for starters. Look at the link Varuna sent over. Learn what functions your liver, kidneys, intestines, and well all of your body do. It is perfectly fine to say "I overindulged over the holidays and my body doesn't appreciate being filled with processed food, too much sugar, etc."

But to then make a leap that you need a fucking cleanse is just moronic. Drinking water with tons of lemon and maple syrup with some cayenne isn't going to fucking cleanse your internal organs. Detoxes and cleanses are bs. If you are feeling like you have muscle aches, are irritable, etc. that is not a sign of "toxins" being released. It is a sign that your body is lacking nutrients and can't function properly.

Your body doesn't get one day of good nutrition and go "oh hey I'm going to right myself pronto!" You cannot eat junk for a month like you admitted and think that in 24 hours of returning to proper diet, etc. that you are going to be the same. That is not how your body works. If you are irregular you should consider probiotics, a healthy diet, and possibly some supplemental fiber. Drink plenty of water. Eat a balanced diet that meets your caloric needs. Exercise. Yes, it is not instantaneous but you do not need some dumb ass cleanse.

I agree that "Drinking water with tons of lemon and maple syrup with some cayenne isn't going to fucking cleanse your internal organs," which is why I'm not doing that- per my OP and other comments, this is a food based cleanse. I am eating food high in fiber (quinoa, green veggies / salads, and veggie soups), and including things like prunes to help with irregularity.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

larrygaga said:

Hey are you doing a cleanse because you don't have a liver?

Damaged it with all of the booze I drank this holiday season. When you're not a "regular" drinker, you can tax your liver by drinking more than usual.

I had a doctor tell me it's better to drink a glass of wine a day than a bottle once a month; his point being, drink in moderation yet consistently.

I should do the same with food, which I do for 11 months, but I go crazy during the holidays.

hmonkey · January 2015

have you put a clove of garlic in your hooha? that works wonders.

MesmrEwe · January 2015

I'm all about the natural approach to things, but then there's the BS hype that all these "Cleanse" things are. Chances are in all that holiday yumminess is something you're allergic or severely intolerant to that your body doesn't have the digestive enzymes or reacting in your immune system to get moved out of your system. You need to experiment to figure out what that item is in the course of the year so you can forever avoid it. I know people who are allergic to particular types of alcohol because they're aged in a certain type of wood. It happens!

If you want to "reset" your bathroom clock - a half-bottle of Magnesium Citrate is all that is needed to do the trick and you're 100% done by day 2 and back to eating your normal healthy foods full time. From hanging around bodybuilders, fitness types, and people who've BTDT to make weight for a competition, the cleanse things only serve one purpose, to make someone rich off the scam.

dharmabunny · January 2015

MesmrEwe said:
If you want to "reset" your bathroom clock - a half-bottle of Magnesium Citrate is all that is needed to do the trick and you're 100% done by day 2 and back to eating your normal healthy foods full time.

Bowel prep. Foxy!

BTW, you still absorb some of that Mg through the GI tract. NBD if you're healthy. But if there are kidney issues or hypermagnesemia or hypocalcemia is going on, bad, bad idea.

Cleansing Sucks!

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