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Save the Date dilemma..

szwhitlatchszwhitlatch member
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My finace and I are trying to decide on a save the date to send to family and friends. The problem is, we're getting married in another state so people aren't really invited, we're just taking our families with us. There's NO save the date on any website that is worded to make sense in this situation because we'd like to avoid the whole, "Save the date and mark your calendar" since there really isn't an invitation going out. What would be the best way to word our situation to where people understand it without becoming offended? Any help is greatly appreciated because we are STUCK!
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Re: Save the Date dilemma..

  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    szwhitlatch said:
    My finace and I are trying to decide on a save the date to send to family and friends. The problem is, we're getting married in another state so people aren't really invited, we're just taking our families with us. There's NO save the date on any website that is worded to make sense in this situation because we'd like to avoid the whole, "Save the date and mark your calendar" since there really isn't an invitation going out. What would be the best way to word our situation to where people understand it without becoming offended? Any help is greatly appreciated because we are STUCK!
    What?  This makes no sense.  If you're not inviting people, you do not send them a Save The Date; that would be incredibly rude.  Are you thinking of wedding announcements, like "We're getting married and you're not invited!"?  Also incredibly rude.  If you want to let your friends and family know that you got married you can send an announcement AFTER the wedding (and very quickly after the wedding).



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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    szwhitlatch said:
    My finace and I are trying to decide on a save the date to send to family and friends. The problem is, we're getting married in another state so people aren't really invited, we're just taking our families with us. There's NO save the date on any website that is worded to make sense in this situation because we'd like to avoid the whole, "Save the date and mark your calendar" since there really isn't an invitation going out. What would be the best way to word our situation to where people understand it without becoming offended? Any help is greatly appreciated because we are STUCK!
    Yeah, you're stuck because what you're trying to do is illogical. You don't send save the dates to people you're not inviting to the wedding. And if you're not sending out invites, there's no need for a save the date. I assume that you've told your family that you're taking with you the wedding date, so they don't need a save the date.

    Who are you trying to send save the dates to?

    image
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    A Save the Date is to tell people to save your wedding date because they are invited.  So to send them to people who aren't invited is, well, just dumb and rude.

    What it sounds like you want are wedding announcements.  These are sent AFTER your wedding (like a day or two after) to anyone you want to let them know that you got married.

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited January 2015

    What are you trying to say? We're getting married on DATE at Place, but you're not invited. That doesn't make sense, does it? Send STDs and Invitations only to those who are invited.

    After the wedding, you may send marriage announcements.

    BRIDE
    and
    GROOM
    were married
    on DATE
    CITY, STATE

    or

    BRIDE PARENTS
    GROOM PARENTS
    have the honour of announcing
    the marriage of
    BRIDE
    to
    GROOM
    on DAY
    YEAR
    LOCATION
    CITY, STATE


    Proper Wedding Announcement Wording and Etiquette was last modified: April 13th, 2014 by Shanna


                       
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Yeah, if we're understanding your post correctly and you're wanting to send save the dates to people who aren't invited, that's totally inappropriate. A SAVE the date, by definition, is asking people to reserve the day and not plan anything else so they can attend your wedding. Why would people need to save a date when nothing is happening that day that impacts them? That's like calling a friend and saying, "Oh hey! Party at my place Saturday!! But yeah you're not invited".
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    image
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  • fwtx5815fwtx5815 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    szwhitlatch said:
    My finace and I are trying to decide on a save the date to send to family and friends. The problem is, we're getting married in another state so people aren't really invited, we're just taking our families with us. There's NO save the date on any website that is worded to make sense in this situation because we'd like to avoid the whole, "Save the date and mark your calendar" since there really isn't an invitation going out. What would be the best way to word our situation to where people understand it without becoming offended? Any help is greatly appreciated because we are STUCK!
    The reason you can't find something that fits your needs, is because what you're trying to do doesn't make sense.

    Serious question: Why do you want to formally announce to people ahead of time what your wedding date is if they aren't invited? It would be rude to do so. If it's because you think you need to explain to people why they aren't invited, that isn't necessary.

    There's not a way to do what you're asking about without people getting offended.

    ----


     fka dallasbetch 


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you're not inviting these people to your wedding, it really doesn't make sense to ask them to save the date.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ditto PPs. You need wedding announcements that go out after the fact, not Save-the-Dates telling people you're getting married but that they are not invited.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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