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Bachelorette Party

nicolemlajoienicolemlajoie member
Second Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My Fiance and I are having a destination wedding with a very small guest list (28 ppl). I'm having a bachelorette party and would like to invite a few girls that are not invited to the wedding (they know we have a small guest list and I just got close with these girls this year). Is it OK to invite people that are not invited to the wedding?

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Re: Bachelorette Party

  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2015
    nicolemlajoie said:
    My Fiance and I are having a destination wedding with a very small guest list (28 ppl). I'm having a bachelorette party and would like to invite a few girls that are not invited to the wedding (they know we have a small guest list and I just got close with these girls this year). Is it OK to invite people that are not invited to the wedding?
    No, it is not okay. If they're good enough for a bachelorette invite, they're good enough for a wedding invite.

    And hopefully you're not planning your own bachelorette. That's also a no.

    ETA: just putting the cart before the horse over here.

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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Nope, if they're invited to the bachelorette they need to be invited to the wedding. You made the decision to have a small guest list, which is totally your right; but that means other things, like pre-wedding parties with huge guest lists, must be sacrificed.

    Also, you can't host/plan your own bachelorette.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • nicolemlajoienicolemlajoie member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Thanks for the advice.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Agree with PPs.  Choose the bachelorette invite list from the wedding list; and don't plan your own.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    The etiquette rule is that anyone invited to pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding itself. So the answer would be no. Unless you plan to invite them to your DW. Then, sure. 
    *********************************************************************************

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties (bridal shower, bachelor/bachelorette party, engagement party) must be invited to the wedding.  Hosting one's own parties (beyond the wedding itself) is also against etiquette. 

    If you would like these girls to come to the DW, then invite them.


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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    nicolemlajoie said:
    My Fiance and I are having a destination wedding with a very small guest list (28 ppl). I'm having a bachelorette party and would like to invite a few girls that are not invited to the wedding (they know we have a small guest list and I just got close with these girls this year). Is it OK to invite people that are not invited to the wedding?
    No.

    You can, however, have an outing with the girls as long as it has absolutely nothing to do with your wedding.
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  • teddygirl9teddygirl9 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    This is slight off topic - What if they are not able to make it to the DW (declined), but you are doing a local bachelorette? Is it ok to have them for that?
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    nicolemlajoie said:
    My Fiance and I are having a destination wedding with a very small guest list (28 ppl). I'm having a bachelorette party and would like to invite a few girls that are not invited to the wedding (they know we have a small guest list and I just got close with these girls this year). Is it OK to invite people that are not invited to the wedding?
    No.  Only peopple invited to the wedding can be invited to the bachlorette party and to your bridal shower, if you are given one.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    teddygirl9 said:
    This is slight off topic - What if they are not able to make it to the DW (declined), but you are doing a local bachelorette? Is it ok to have them for that?
    As long as they are invited to the wedding, they don't have to attend.  You can invite to the bachelorette anyone who is invited to the wedding, whether they're able to attend the wedding or not.
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  • nicolemlajoienicolemlajoie member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Thanks everyone for the feedback.
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  • nicolemlajoienicolemlajoie member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    I knew the rule about the engagement party and shower, but I didn't know if it applied to the bach party because 1 ) it's not a formal event and 2.) Doesn't require a formal invitation. I assumed it was on a more casual (incite whoever you want) basis. All of your comments were helpgul, so thank you :)
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    nicolemlajoie said:
    I knew the rule about the engagement party and shower, but I didn't know if it applied to the bach party because 1 ) it's not a formal event and 2.) Doesn't require a formal invitation. I assumed it was on a more casual (incite whoever you want) basis. All of your comments were helpgul, so thank you :)
    "Come celebrate with me on my last time out as a single woman! Even though you can't be there when I change my status from single to OMH!"

    It's just rude, and even though its not a gifting event, still gives off the same feelings gift grabby would be..


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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    teddygirl9 said:
    This is slight off topic - What if they are not able to make it to the DW (declined), but you are doing a local bachelorette? Is it ok to have them for that?
    Of course people who were invited to the wedding, but cannot attend for whatever reason can still be invited to the bachelorette. 

    I had 2 friends that were not able to come to my wedding because they had other conflicts the day of my wedding, but they were able to attend the b-party and wanted to celebrate with me.
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