Who Knew? UPDATE IN POST

Re: Who Knew? UPDATE IN POST

• lovegood90 member

  

  January 2015

  I'd ask your dad how he feels about inviting her. But if you do invite her, I think you're in the clear not inviting him as she's technically single.

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015

  If you invite the aunt, I don't think you need to invite her live-in ex-husband. I don't see them as a social unit, I see them as more like roommates. And you're never required to invite someone's roommate, ya know?
  
  But I also think you'd be fine not inviting the aunt either. Especially since it sounds like your parents have a tough time dealing with her.
  

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  January 2015

  lovegood90 said:

  I'd ask your dad how he feels about inviting her. But if you do invite her, I think you're in the clear not inviting him as she's technically single.

  Just heard from my dad via mom- he said he'd prefer that she not be invited- too much drama.
  
  *phew*
  
  Thank you for the recommendation though.
  

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• poodledoodleooo member

  

  January 2015

  This is en
  

  FeeleyToBe said:

  I seriously never thought I'd have to post a question like this- how little I know about my own family!
  
  My dad has a sister who was given up for adoption when she was born.  I am 33, and to my knowledge, have never met her (unless it was as a baby and I don't remember- my point being, I could walk past her on the street and not even know I was related to this person).
  
  Of 9 siblings, my dad only has two siblings still alive, including the one who was put up for adoption.  Since moving to Arizona a few years ago, my dad has been in touch with this aunt on and off, and they have visited her home in California a few times in the last 10 years.  I wasn't initially planning to invite either aunt since I don't know either of them very well, but I figured what the hell- they're my dad's only living relatives.
  
  I asked my mom today for the adopted out aunt's last name and if she had a husband or SO.  My mom writes this, which leads me to my question; do I have to invite this guy?
  
  From my Mom:
  Just a little background on them. They were married, but after they got married, he told her he was gay, so they got divorced but are still friends and still live together so that is why they have the same name.  They are just friends that are living together for financial reasons and friendship. Also if you knew her, you'd know she can get mad really easy at anything so everyone just ignores her. we rarely talk and only go see her for like 2 hours if we are up that way. dad never calls her unless he has to which is like 3 or 4 times in the last 20 years and we've seen her like 3 times in that time period also.
  
  Since my mom is saying it's just a friend, do the Knotties agree or disagree that I don't have to invite him (as we're not giving general plus ones to people)?  I'm trying to find out from my mom if my dad would be upset if I didn't invite her (sounds like not), and if she thinks it will cause drama for my dad since she apparently is a drama queen.
  
  For the record, we are VERY close to hitting the max guest count we can afford to properly host, which is the main reason for my question.  If I had the budget, I wouldn't bat an eyelash about including him.
  
  
  

  I honestly don't understand why you want to invite this woman anyway. This woman was put up for adoption and wasn't raised as your father's sibling. That hardly makes her your aunt. A bloodline does not necessarily make a family. It doesn't seem as if your parent's have a connection with this woman, or even a desire to have a connection with her, or heck, even a desire to be in the same room as her. So why are you inviting her? Do your parents want her there?
  
  For your specific question, I don't see a problem with inviting just her, as she is not in a "social unit" type relationship with this man. I would, however, I would try to confirm this with her. Since your parent's don't keep in touch with the aunt very often things very well could have changed.
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  January 2015

  sjf2715 said:

  This is en
  

  FeeleyToBe said:

  I seriously never thought I'd have to post a question like this- how little I know about my own family!
  
  My dad has a sister who was given up for adoption when she was born.  I am 33, and to my knowledge, have never met her (unless it was as a baby and I don't remember- my point being, I could walk past her on the street and not even know I was related to this person).
  
  Of 9 siblings, my dad only has two siblings still alive, including the one who was put up for adoption.  Since moving to Arizona a few years ago, my dad has been in touch with this aunt on and off, and they have visited her home in California a few times in the last 10 years.  I wasn't initially planning to invite either aunt since I don't know either of them very well, but I figured what the hell- they're my dad's only living relatives.
  
  I asked my mom today for the adopted out aunt's last name and if she had a husband or SO.  My mom writes this, which leads me to my question; do I have to invite this guy?
  
  From my Mom:
  Just a little background on them. They were married, but after they got married, he told her he was gay, so they got divorced but are still friends and still live together so that is why they have the same name.  They are just friends that are living together for financial reasons and friendship. Also if you knew her, you'd know she can get mad really easy at anything so everyone just ignores her. we rarely talk and only go see her for like 2 hours if we are up that way. dad never calls her unless he has to which is like 3 or 4 times in the last 20 years and we've seen her like 3 times in that time period also.
  
  Since my mom is saying it's just a friend, do the Knotties agree or disagree that I don't have to invite him (as we're not giving general plus ones to people)?  I'm trying to find out from my mom if my dad would be upset if I didn't invite her (sounds like not), and if she thinks it will cause drama for my dad since she apparently is a drama queen.
  
  For the record, we are VERY close to hitting the max guest count we can afford to properly host, which is the main reason for my question.  If I had the budget, I wouldn't bat an eyelash about including him.
  
  
  

  I honestly don't understand why you want to invite this woman anyway. This woman was put up for adoption and wasn't raised as your father's sibling. That hardly makes her your aunt. A bloodline does not necessarily make a family. It doesn't seem as if your parent's have a connection with this woman, or even a desire to have a connection with her, or heck, even a desire to be in the same room as her. So why are you inviting her? Do your parents want her there?
  
  For your specific question, I don't see a problem with inviting just her, as she is not in a "social unit" type relationship with this man. I would, however, I would try to confirm this with her. Since your parent's don't keep in touch with the aunt very often things very well could have changed.
  

  My only reason for inviting either aunt was because I didn't want to hurt my dad's feelings.  I am inviting all of my mom's siblings, and I didn't want my dad to feel bad that I wasn't inviting anyone from his family since there are so few of them left.
  
  Now that I know he couldn't care less if she came, I'm not inviting her.
  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  January 2015

  Well glad the problem is solved.

  
  

  
  

   I would have answered  I would have given her a plus one.   That way she could invite who she wants.   I gathered she lived OOT and always feel it's nice to have a traveling companion. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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