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Bridal Shower Birthday Party Together - Good or Bad Idea?

Knottie02401131Knottie02401131 member
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in Wedding Party
Hi Fellow Knotties!

It is my birthday right around the time I am going to have my bridal shower.  Is it a good idea to have them combined or would it be tacky and I should separate them?????
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Re: Bridal Shower Birthday Party Together - Good or Bad Idea?

  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Most adults I know don't have large birthday parties (unless it's like a group going out to bars). I wouldn't combine these two things. People will feel obligated to get you a birthday gift in addition to a shower gift, which typically many of them wouldn't do, I'm guessing.

    Who is hosting your shower? You shouldn't be hosting one for yourself (because it looks like you're creating an opportunity for others to give you gifts). If the host brought up this idea, you can tell him/her that the party is probably better with one focus.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    I side eye this. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Most adults I know don't have birthday parties unless a significant other is throwing one for them for a significant birthday ending in a zero.  At most with my circle, a group of friends goes out to dinner or a bar.

    I would probably side-eye this. 
    1) It looks gift-grabby.
    2) Unless you were planning to have a birthday party anyway, and the shower and the birthday party would have the EXACT SAME guest list, then I think it's awkward.  Showers usually include peripheral family members (aunts, cousins, future in-laws).  Would you be inviting all of those people to your birthday party if you were having one, taking the shower out of the equation all together?  Likewise, you can only invite people to the shower who will be invited to the wedding.  So if you're combining them and adding in some additional guests like work-friends who might have gone out to the bar with you for your birthday but aren't going to be invited to the wedding - then you need to make sure every single person is also invited to the wedding.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I vote tacky. Don't do it.
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Knottie02401131 said:
    Hi Fellow Knotties!

    It is my birthday right around the time I am going to have my bridal shower.  Is it a good idea to have them combined or would it be tacky and I should separate them?????
    Another side eye here.

    And, just throwing this out there, people invited to the bridal shower must also being invited to the wedding.  I only mention it because the people who attended my shower (and subsequently wedding) and the people I would ask to go out for my birthday are not all necessarily the same people.
    Anniversary

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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    Another side-eye here!  Birthdays don't need celebrated on such a large scale unless it's your 30th, 40th, etc...and even in that case, it should be separate.

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    Another side-eye.

    You shouldn't be planning a shower or birthday party in your own honor.

                       
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'd side-eye this too. Aside from the fact that you're not supposed to throw yourself either a birthday party or a shower, if not everyone you would celebrate your birthday with is invited to your wedding, then a birthday celebration for you shouldn't double as a shower for you as well.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    No, you shouldn't have a joint shower and birthday party. 



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  • Knottie02401131Knottie02401131 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks everyone for the feedback!!!  It put a lot of things in perspective.  No, I will not have any family at my bridal shower.  My MOH is hosting, but I'm pitching in with the food because she doesn't have a lot of money to spend and I don't want this to be financially draining on her.  My Mother in Texas and Aunts in Texas and New Jersey aren't interested in making the trip to be here in California or host one for me in Texas.  My mother in law in Florida is too sick to host a bridal shower or attend.  I think my Sister in law can make it.  And thanks to all the feedback on The Knot Community we are doing a 'Champagne and cake' theme that will be at my house, casual, great music, one of my bridesmaids is taking care of half the food, another is a great cake decorator and baking a 3 tier cake (the highlight!) and me and my maid of honor are splitting the champagne / wine / mimosa bar.  Mostly friends and thanks to my amazing bridesmaids and MOH it should be a good time!
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