Unsure about the dress

Re: Unsure about the dress

• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  xoxsurfnsunox said:

  I am very indecisive. I am getting married in August and purchased my dress this past June. I fell in love with this dress even before I was engaged and when I tried it on I had to have it. Now I am seeing others that I really like and think maybe I rushed into it. I want to try on other dresses to make sure this is the one for sure, but what if I a like something a lot more. Do I lose my deposit because its final sale and buy the new dress or stick with my original?

  
  

  Has anyone ever had this issue?

  You might do better on the attire and accessories board, but this happens sometimes. Typically though with most stores (unless it's a chain store like David's Bridal) you cannot return your dress. But definitely call your salon and see what their policy is. Or if you can find your deposit receipt, it may say on there. 

  
  

  You may have to sell the first dress and buy the second dress like you did the first. But like I said, seems to happen sometimes with brides. I too thought that I rushed into it, but then I put on my dress and recalled all the things I loved about my dress instead of focusing on all the things I thought I hated and loved about every other dress I saw. I wouldn't recommend trying on other dresses until you are committed to buying a new one. Because I'm positive you'll find another dress you *think* love more. Especially if you're a self proclaimed indecisive person.

  
  

  
  

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• flutteringinfl member

  

  January 2015

  Step one: Stop looking at other dresses.

  
  

  Step two: Accept that there is a culture that encourages women to search for the "perfect" dress, and that it is actually a construct that doesn't exist. There will always be a dress that might be more perfect than yours, which is why you need to refer to step one.

  
  

  Step three: Pretend no other dresses exist and ask yourself if you still love your dress and want to be married in it. If so, chill. If it's really making you miserable, figure out what your bridal salon's policy is and go from there.

  
  

  But I really wouldn't encourage you to try on more dresses.

  

  
  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2015

  This is why we tell people to stop looking at dresses once you have purchased yours.

  
  

  I would suggest going back to the salon and try on your dress again.  See how you feel in it.  If you are still questioning it then ask the store their return policy and then start looking again.  But really really think about this.  Sounds like you have loved this dress for a long time.  There are always going to be other dresses out there that are beautiful and pretty but if the one you have bought makes you feel beautiful and confident then I don't think there is any point in continuing to look.

  
  

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• charcoalandblush member

  

  January 2015

  This is a good reason not to buy the dress a year+ in advance. And to stop looking at dresses once you buy one.

  
  

  Honestly, if I were you, I'd stick to the dress I have. But if for some reason you just can't see yourself doing that, you will likely be out a pretty big chunk of change.
  

  
  

  How much was your deposit? You should read your contract. You may lose your deposit, or you may have to actually pay for the whole cost of the dress. Or you may be able to apply the deposit to the cost of a different dress at the same shop.

  
  

  Can you possibly re-sell the dress? You may lose less money that way. There are bridal consignment shops and websites that sell new and used wedding dresses. Most let you set the price. You won't recoup all of what you paid, but you might get enough to cover the cost of a new dress.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  January 2015

  OP, yes, I was there. I bought my dress before I was technically engaged (but we'd talked about getting married)! 

  
  

  One: Since I bought it off the rack, I kept trying it on privately and falling in love with it over and over.

  Two: If I found one I really liked on Pinterest or wherever, I showed it to my fiance. This one with lace and tulle and illusion details? He said, "Um, that looks like lingerie."

  
  

  Since the lace/tulle was what I kept going back to in terms of new fashion, having my fiance say he didn't like those dresses further reinforced my wise decision to purchase a beaded dress. 

  
  

  Like others have said, I think you need to explore the root cause of why you want a new dress. Is it just seeing fun new fashions? Or do you not feel comfortable in the style you chose?  For me, it was just seeing new fashion. If you are truly uncomfortable I'd try to find something else. 

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• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015

  flutteringinfl said:

  Step one: Stop looking at other dresses.

  
  

  Step two: Accept that there is a culture that encourages women to search for the "perfect" dress, and that it is actually a construct that doesn't exist. There will always be a dress that might be more perfect than yours, which is why you need to refer to step one.

  
  

  Step three: Pretend no other dresses exist and ask yourself if you still love your dress and want to be married in it. If so, chill. If it's really making you miserable, figure out what your bridal salon's policy is and go from there.

  
  

  But I really wouldn't encourage you to try on more dresses.

  This. It's not like finding your future husband, where you date different guys in search of that ONE perfect guy. There are millions of dresses, and any dress that fits you and looks pretty could be a right dress for you. There's more than just ONE right dress, since so many pretty ones exist out there. 

  
  

  I had some doubts about my dress too. But when I looked back at photos of me in it, I totally loved it all over again. There was a reason you loved your dress so much in the first place. Quit looking at all the others out there! 

  

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• cakemurderer member

  

  January 2015

  Amen to everything flutteringinfl had to say!

  
  

  From one indecisive person to another, you should probably stick with the dress you've got. I know I second guess 90% of my decisions, even stuff as dumb as the peanut butter I bought! I think what you're feeling isn't uncommon and maybe "the dress" is still out there, but keep in mind there was a time when you loved how that dress looked on you. I'm willing to bet it still looks amazing on you. I second the suggestion to stop looking at dresses. Have someone take an awesome pic of you in your dress so you can pull that up to remind yourself how great you'll look on your wedding day so you stop wondering what if.

  
  

  If you do decide to buy a second dress, you can try reselling the first on Craigslist or a site like tradesy.com or preownedweddingdresses.com. Just know that you won't be able to recoup the full cost even if it ever sells so be prepared to take a hit.

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• badbnagdway member

  

  January 2015

  From experience, it is easier said than done to stop looking at dresses. BHLDN is always sending me emails of fabulous things. The internet advertisement machine is always showing me pictures of dresses I don't want to see. 

  
  

  I agree with other posters, try your dress on again. It should remind you why you love it. I seriously put mine one like once a week. Every time I put it on, I'm like, damn, you look good girl. That keeps me from seriously looking for another dress. 

  
  

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• kaitlynmichelle member

  

  January 2015

  Every time I started to have dress regret, I put it on to remind myself how much I loved it. Even now that I'm married, in some pictures it didn't look quite right and I would think if I picked the "right" dress. But really in the end, it was great and I only made myself worry by comparing it to other dresses.

  

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