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Our own vows vs the vows the officiant says?

frolicintheforestfrolicintheforest member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

I am so confused right now and am a little upset at myself for not having paid attention at past weddings.

Ok, so we are going to write our own ceremony/ paste different ceremonies together as well as our own vows however...where do those go and doesn't the officiant still have to say his part?

Example:

Officiant: Do you Skyler Rene Smith, take Jamie Harper Lee, to be your beloved spouse, knowing in your heart that you will be a faithful friend, and a loving companion? On this special day, in the presence of family and friends as witnesses, do you give your sacred vow that you will always be with Jamie and support her, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow? Do you promise to love her completely, to console and comfort herduring difficult times, to laugh with her and to grieve with her, to share with her life’s simplest but most enduring pleasures, to be truthful and honest with her, and to cherish her, for as long as you both shall live?

Bride says I do and then same thing for the groom.

 

Where do our own vows go? I thought it was one or the other and I want our ceremony to flow well. I also kind of wanted to shorten so there isn't so many vows.

 

 

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Re: Our own vows vs the vows the officiant says?

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    They can go anywhere in the ceremony that works for you and your FI, as long as any state or religious-required vows are said during the ceremony.
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    thespeshulestsnowflakethespeshulestsnowflake member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Just an FYI edit your names out of your post. Internet safety and all. :)
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yes, the officiant will say his or her part. When you meet with your officiant, he or she should go over the ceremony with you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    jenna8984jenna8984 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    My friend/ old roommate was my officiant so I didn't have a professional who already had a script. I had to piece together the entire script myself and give to her, which sounds like what you are doing.

    Mine went in this order-

    welcome, we've come together today, blah blah.

    A good marriage is never being too old to hold hands, remembering to say I love you everyday, blah blah

    maid of honor reading

    Then the vows with Do you Jenna, take husband- honor, cherish, promise to remain by side blah, blah- I DO

    Then the ring exchange. The ring is a symbol blah blah. As placing the ring is when you would insert your own vows. We repeated after the officiant "I take thy jenna to be my lawfully wedded wife, sickness, health, long as we both shall live, etc" but that's where you could put any of your own words if you wanted to just say vows to each other without repeating after the officiant.

    And then the closing. I can send you the whole thing if you want but that's the order we did the vows.  

     

                                                                     

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    frolicintheforestfrolicintheforest member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    You are correct! I am piecing together our ceremony. His uncle is going to be our officiant but I wanted to have hand in as much as I could. We want to write our own vows but we know the officiant has his as well so I was confused if we needed both. So you guys didn't write your own vows at all? I know you said ceremony but your specific vows to eachother. Thaank you for responding :D
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    frolicintheforestfrolicintheforest member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Our officiant is his uncle and we are piecing the ceremony together and wasn't sure if we needed both the officiant vows and the ones we plan on writing for eacother.
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    FYI, use the quote button if you're replying to a specific person. ;)

    Our ceremony went:
    Processional
    Welcome/greeting
    Foundation/prayer
    Declaration of intent ("do you Lolo," "I do")
    Reading
    Exchange of rings ("with this ring, bla bla bla" repeated after the officiant)
    Vows (these are your actual promises! We repeated after the officiant)
    Pronouncement
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    huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    frolicintheforest said:
    Our officiant is his uncle and we are piecing the ceremony together and wasn't sure if we needed both the officiant vows and the ones we plan on writing for eacother.
    What state are you in? Jenna is in Massachusetts as am I, and there are no specific rules or things that need to be said. I had a similar layout to Jenna, but we read our own vows. there was no, do you Huskypuppy take Huskydog.  I don't know the rules in your state, but you should find that out.
    image
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    We did it like this:

    Processional
    Marriage address by officiant
    Reading
    Personal Vows
    Do you take.../I do portion
    Exchange of the rings and repeat "after me vows" as slide ring on finger
    Declaration of marriage and kiss
    Signature of legal documents with witnesses
    Recessional


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    lbdlovelbdlove member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I am doing the same thing as you and this is how mine is going to be:

    Processional
    Greeting
    Opening Prayer
    Scripture Reading 
    Marriage Rite - A marriage is a promise to be kind and understanding, to be thoughtful, considerate, and to share one life together. Blah Blah 
    Declaration of Intent - ex: Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife for as long as you both shall live? We will.
    Exchange of Vows - I ____ take you _____ to be my lawful wife....
    Personal Vows
    Box Ceremony
    Confirmation of Vows - You have declared your consent before the community of your family and friends. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you with his blessings. What God has joined together, let no one separate.  
    Nuptial Blessing 
    Declaration of Marriage - Kissing of the Bride 
    Presentation  - You are now pronounced Mr. and Mrs....
    Recessional 
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