So I have this marriage counseling book

larrygaga · January 2015

It's all just open discussion questions like how will you raise your kids and do your inlaws hate you and other such things. Some of these questions led to some pretty hilarious story telling, so I'm going to ask you guys

What was the worst trouble you ever got into as a child?

I'll start: I never really got caught for the truley terrible things I did. So I never really got into a lot of serious trouble. Once when I was maybe 11 I tossed the phone onto the couch when I was done using it. I hit this beautiful and expensive glass lamp my mom had gotten from her grandmother. I obliterated it and went into full panic mode. I decided the best thing to do was clean it up before my mom saw, and maybe she would never notice this lamp went missing. (yeah, ok) I swept up the glass with my bare hands and obviously made a huge bloody mess. My mom caught me doing that, flipped her shit and cleaned me up. When she made sure I was okay and didn't really need to go to the doctor, she sent me to my room. For some reason I just got so so so mad and was walking around slamming doors and yelling about how it wasn't my fault the lamp was so breakable and other stupid pre-teen stuff. I don't know why I went off like that, but it obviously went from 0 to 100 with my mom and I was locked in my room without dinner for the rest of the night.

So I decided the next best course of action would be to take a screwdriver, take the screen out of my window, climb down to the first story and run out into the middle of the woods and spend the night in my favorite tree. I couldn't remember how to take the screen off like my dad showed me, so I just cut through it with a screwdriver. I was halfway out the window when my dad came in and hurled me back inside.

I was too old for spanking but you better believe I got spanked anyway. Then I was grounded for a month and everything was taken away from me. My dad is a real softie for me because I'm his first biological daughter, so he let me off the hook after a few weeks. Oh my god I still can't believe he was able to physically pick me up and throw me across the room. My parents hit but it was never really that abusive. It was more like slaps on the arms or spanking. I never made my dad so mad that he actually hurt me for real before. I think that was part of the reason I got off my punishment early.

I have never pissed of my parents so badly in such a horrible spiral of bad choices. In one fell swoop I ruined a heirloom lamp, a couch, a rug, several pillows, my clothes, I put a dent in the wall from slamming doors and I ripped my bedroom window screen. It's okay, we are all forgiven and we have forgotten.

JCbride2015 · January 2015

I actually just had a conversation with my SM about how she always secretly wished I would get caught doing something bad, because she thought it would be a good life lesson. But I a) never did anything really that bad, and b) when I did semi-bad things I never got caught.

My dad was REALLY mad at me, like for years, when I mentioned to my mom that he was still using drugs. I didn't realize she thought he had stopped. But it's sort of hard to punish your teenage daughter for telling your ex-wife you were high all weekend, so.... not punished.

ETA forgot words.

WinstonsGirl · January 2015

When I was in Grade 9, I was supposed to babysit my PE teachers kid during the volleyball game. She didn't bring the kid one day so my BFF at the time suggested we go see out BF's. They were twins, but they lived across town, so this was kinda a long distance thing. But we hopped the bus and met up at the discount department store restaurant. I phoned home to say we were at another school v-ball tournament, and I would be home later.

Well, we missed the bus, and since it was a newer neighbourhood, they only ran every hour. By the time we got home it was almost 10pm. My parents had phoned the school and found out there was no v-ball game or babysitting and that I had left about 4pm.

My Dad is a psychologist who worked with at risk youth when I was a kid. I got lectured, lost phone privileges and then had to have a conversation about why I was acting out, blah blah blah so he could get to the real root of the problem so I wouldn't end up on drugs like his work kids. I was really just praying to get grounded.

On another note, this BF was 13 and he dumped me after we had kissed once or twice, been dating about 1 month and after he asked me "So, uh, do you wanna fuck??" When I said no and refused to make out on someone's front lawn with cars going by while waiting for the bus, I got dumped. I don't feel any need to make out with someone while people drive by.

blabla89 · January 2015

As a kid I was a good student, but at the beginning of 7th grade I decided I didn't give a shit about school. I didn't do any homework during the first quarter, and when they handed out progress reports, it showed in my grades. I panicked. My parents had VERY high expectations when it came to school and I was pretty sure they were going to kill me. So I mocked up and printed out a new progress report with better grades. I put a couple B's on it so that it wouldn't look suspiciously perfect, and my mom lectured me about how that wasn't acceptable.

The next day at school they announced the schedule for parent-teacher conferences. I hadn't even thought about that. Sure enough, the teachers showed my mom my real grades and I was busted. When we got home my mom yelled at me, and I cried, and my dad asked why I would do that, and I mumbled something about how I was afraid mom would kill me if she saw those grades. It ended with my dad telling my mom she was being too hard on me about school, and I never actually got punished.

bride2b71614 · January 2015

I was about five years old, and my brother and I had a massive fight. He told me that I wasn't a big kid and that I wasn't allowed to use the adult scissors. He taunted me and kept calling me a big fat baby. I took his taunting for an hour, and when he went to the bathroom, I grabbed the "adult" scissors from the kitchen. He had just gotten a new water bed, and it was his prized possession. I called my brother into his room so he could see me standing there with the scissors. I stabbed his water bed, and there was water everywhere. My brother and I frantically tried to clean it up but it started to leak to the downstair's neighbors house, and they called my dad. He came into the room and was almost purple in the face. Needless to say I was yelled at for using the adult scissors without adult supervision, had to help pay a small portion of the water damage for my neighbors (I earned a small allowance of a dollar per week), was not allowed TV, or computer and wasn't allowed to attend birthday parties and play dates for a month.

jdluvr06 · January 2015

I didn't really get caught doing anything stupid when I was really young like that. I was good at hiding what a little shit I was until I kind of spiraled out of control but I wasnt really little then, I was 16 or 17 at that point. The only time before then that I remember getting grounded for anything was when my sister and I painted one of our cat's nails. Well we tried to paint the cat's nails anyway. I was about 5 and my sister was 8. My mom had this huge nail polish collection and we thought it would be fun to give the cats manicures. So we grabbed several bottles of nail polish, one of the cats and went to one of our rooms. I think it was my sisters. Needless to say when my mom found us there was nail polish all over the place, a very disgruntled cat, and me and sis with scratch marks all over our arms and legs. We were grounded for a week. My mom told us that it would have been longer but the cat had punished us enough at that point.

loveislouder · January 2015

I never really got in trouble as a kid because I'm really good at hiding it when I do stupid shit. But my older sister once when she was 13 wanted to go to her friends house. My parents said no, so she screamed " I hate your stupid faces mother fuckers," my dad had just had knee surgery and he chased her down stairs and and grounded her for 2 months. How did she respond? Stole the car and went anyway. Lost all privileges for 3 months, and was my dads little slave because when he was chasing her, he fucked up his knee again and needed anothe surgery.

crackktheskyy · January 2015

I did way too many things to even count. My poor parents. They're troopers, I tell ya.

- Dyed my hair every color you can imagine. When they tried to take away my hair dye, I would just do it in class with a Sharpie marker.

- Went to the mall and had a mall hair cuttery cut my hair into a mohawk. Yelled at my mom constantly to buy Elmer's glue so that I could maintain said mohawk.

- Wasn't allowed to see boyfriend who lived about an hour away, so I hopped a train with my BFF to go see him. My parents obviously were too smart for this and were already waiting for me at the train station nearest to his house.

- I led a class walk out on a substitute English teacher because I didn't think she was good enough or intelligent enough. She also smelled like cat pee (the old teacher whom I loved had just given birth). To be fair, I didn't get in trouble for this because my parents thought it was kind of hysterical.

- One time when I was REALLY young I tried to make gummy bear soup by melting a shit ton of gummy bears in the microwave. You can probably imagine how that ended.

LadyMillil · January 2015

I was a super good kid so I never really got into trouble. I was only grounded once, for riding my bike too close to my parents' new van and scratching it. I wasn't allowed to watch tv for a week.

IrishPirate60 · January 2015

I told my third grade teacher that my infant brother had died. When my parents asked me about it, I said it wasn't me. Teacher must have me confused with one of the other fifty kids in the class. I didn't think about the bigger picture: this was the one Catholic school in town that had one Catholic Church--that sat right across from our classroom. Teacher was one of the convent sisters. Would have been big news if a baby in one of the families had died. There was no funeral. I didn't miss a day of school. My brother had spent a couple of days in the hospital with the flu, but he survived.

lurkergirl · January 2015

Some of y'all are such goody-goodies...or I'm a heathen?

Really little: my cousin stayed with us every day until we started school. He's 3 months older than me, and we basically split our time between barbies and stinky boy games (lots of sticks and dirt.) So one of our favorite tings was to find rocks and big clumps of dirt and throw them either up over the deck or over the fence.

In one incident, we were throwing dirt over the deck. We got caught when we shattered the huge sliding glass door. We had to stand in opposite corners and I remember us turning around to look at each other and laugh. Pretty sure he got spanked for that and I didn't....

In another, we threw rocks and dirt over the fence where they all landed in the neighbor's pool. My mom baked cookies and we had to deliver them and apologize.

Teen years: my mom found my senior year spring break photos. There are several of us posing with our bong and booze bottles. Oh and the one of someone wearing a tiara and cradling the bong like it was a baby. Proceeded to tell me what a terrible person I was. I think I temporarily lost driving privileges.

When I was 19 she saw my tattoo and didn't speak to me for a month because I "tarnished the body she birthed." She recognizes now how ridiculously she overreacted.

Chipmunk415 · January 2015

Got in trouble in high school because of a weak willed coach. I was on the swim team and coach was new to school. She asked me to handle the announcement paperwork and sign for her. Did it and the next week I got hauled in to the assistant principals office over "forging" the coach's signature. I tried to explain but they were having none of it. So I had to go thru suspension and whatnot.

My mother later had a meeting with said assistant principal, defined forgery for himnand basically to him he had his head up his ass. She aslo informed him I had wanted to become a teacher, though my folks had been encouraging me towards other career paths as they didn't think I'd like dealing with the politics of the school system in my state. My mom thanked this jerk for opening my eyes to how the school treated honor students over misunderstandings and that I'd switched to other career options. He apparently looked like he'd been sucker punched

I later beat this principal's daughter for a scholarship via essay contest, and he had to watch. Karma is a bitch.

climbingsingle · January 2015

All of the trouble I got in started in my teen years. I went on a trip abroad when I was 12. It was a group of kids from NY and a group of kids from VA. I started "dating" one of the boys that lived in VA, so when I returned home, I wanted to call him. I started calling VA like every day, and talking for hours. It was still summer vacation so I was home pretty much all day. I knew that it would drive up the phone bill. I don't know what I was thinking. I remember getting the phone bill in the mail that day, and I hid at my friend's house. Man, did I get into a lot of trouble. I was grounded for a while, and lost all phone privileges and had to pay off the phone bill with my allowance. I think it was like $300, which in 1992 was a lot of money.

The other time I got into a lot of trouble was when I was 15. I had already started drinking and smoking pot with my friends. Back in the 90s when you bought nickel bags, they had really cool designs on them. Stupid me, I saved all the bags. I had a TV stand that locked on one side. I thought they were safe in there. One Saturday night, I decided to steal a bottle of wine from my parent's small collection in the closet. By Monday, they had noticed it was gone. And while I was at school, they searched my room. They found all the pot bags I had saved. I tried to say I was just experimenting, but with 100+ nickel bags on the kitchen table, it was pretty obvious that wasn't the case. I was grounded for 3 months. And of course at 15, that felt like forever.

flutteringinfl · January 2015

I was assigned to "babysit" my sister and her friend one day while their moms were downstairs mingling. I decided to lock them in a closet. I really have no idea what was going through my head, but oh boy did I get it. I was grounded for two weeks and I'm pretty sure the friend's mother still doesn't quite trust me. I can't remember how old I was but I was probably between 10-12.

cupcait927 · January 2015

I never really did anything wrong in high school. Got good grades, didn't have a boyfriend until my senior year of high school, didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't sneak out. I was the quintessential dork. The worst thing I did was come home an hour late from curfew my senior year and my dad tried to take my car away. That lasted for about 12 hours when I pointed out that it was the first time it ever happened AND I was going away to college in two months.

My sister on the hand was a nightmare. She did drugs, drank, skipped school, snuck out of the house - you name it, she did it. She even got me in trouble one time when she was dating a much older guy (she was 15) and I didn't tell my parents about it. How I managed to get in trouble I have no idea but I fought that punishment.

morewineplease · January 2015

I did not get into a lot of trouble growing up, mostly because I was very good at being sneaky. However this is the story of the worst thing I remember my mother catching me doing.

I was 15 and my BF lived in another state about 45-50 minutes away. He spent a large portion of the summer in my state visiting family. I had not told my mom I was dating this guy because she would not have let me stay at his family’s house if she had known. (And I will add looking back there were no responsible adults in this house ever. Sometimes we would be “paid” for babysitting in wine coolers.) So the day he was going back home I told my mom I would be at my friends house “M”. Instead I was going on the ride to drop him back off at home, with the dude that was dating his aunt.

When I get home my mother asks where I was and who dropped me off. I say I was at “M’s” and “J” dropped me off. Well J was her step fathers name, and J was random dudes name too so that was not a lie. Well… “M” had called an hour ago to see if I was home yet.

So then I tell her what really happened and she yells that he could be arrested for taking a minor across state lines. I think the worst part was when she stopped yelling; just told me I was a disappointment and walked away.

charcoalandblush · January 2015

Oh jeez... so many things.

In the grand scheme of things, I don't think I was really that bad of a kid, but my parents seemed to think I was the worst teenager to have walked the face of the earth. My mom still loves to complain about how terrible I was to raise (despite my cousins who got pregnant at 16/did drugs/got kicked out of college for bad grades/still live at home and have never had a full time job at age 35).

My mom REALLY doesn't approve of interracial relationships. When I was 14 she found my diary and saw that I had kissed a boy from my class (who happened to be black) on a school trip to an amusement park. I think I probably got 5 or 6 months of lost privileges for that (computer, TV, hanging out with friends, etc.).

She caught me drinking one time when I was 17. My boyfriend at the time was I think 18 or 19 and in the military. His friend was about to be deployed, so they had a big party. BF DDed me home, and I was totally fine (barely buzzed, if I remember correctly). I managed to make it home without them catching me, but somehow like two days later my mom found out (still have no clue how - she claims that someone called her and told her. I didn't know anyone at the party other than my BF, so I still have no clue who). I was grounded for a month (no car, cell phone, TV, computer, etc.).

I got kicked out two weeks before I left for college. My friends and I had gone to Mexico for a week to celebrate graduation. We bought a pack of cigarettes at the airport and casually smoked while we were there. I forgot to throw them away before I got back, and my mom went through my suitcase and found them. I lived with my BF's best friend until 2 days before I had to move in to my freshman dorm.

I did way more stuff that I never got caught for. I can think of two other times I drank/smoked at parties in high school and didn't get caught. I also lied to my parents about where I was and who I was with on the regular. But I very seldom broke curfew, and always called first when I knew I was going to be late, so they didn't really seem to look too deeply into where I had been.

Bubblegum5586 · January 2015

I got grounded once!

In 8th grade my grandparents took my family on the Disney Cruise. They had a teen club where you could hang out and meet people your age and there were no parents allowed (we had "Counselors" that were in their early 20's watching us).

They had fun planned activities for us too and I made a ton of friends and even made a "BF". Every chance we got we were sneaking away to go make out somewhere!

Well the last night on the boat he was acting kind of distant and was talking to this other girl a lot. It was finally time to get back to my cabin and I never got a chance to say good bye! I was so upset.

Just as I was getting ready for bed (I shared a cabin with my 6 year old sister AND my parents!) there is a knock on the door (it was about 11pm?). It was one of my friends saying my "BF" was looking to say good bye. So I just walked out and said "i'll be right back" to my parents.

Well after hours of making out I finally head back to my cabin at 2am. Well I had never just left or anything like that before and had no idea what I was doing... I forgot my key!!! So I had to knock on the door... wake my parents up so I could go to bed. They didn't say anything.. we all just went to sleep.

Well the next morning I am in the bathroom getting ready and I HAVE A HICKEY!!! OMG And it is summer I have nothing to cover it up. I had a coat that as long as I didn't move the collar would just cover it. Until I went to hit the elevator button for everyone, and my grandfather yells "hey what bit you?!?!"

My mom pulls my coat down and gives me the look of death. Then doesn't talk to me again. The whole way home, my family completely ignored me. Even on the plane the 3 of them sat on one side, then the aisle then 2 seats... then me! That was the worst part of the entire thing.

Once we got home my mom said she wasn't mad about the hickey but with the lying and sneaking around. I was grounded for 2 weeks... but got off a week early for good behavior!

jdluvr06 · January 2015

I probably would have gotten in a lot more trouble when I was younger if my mom wasn't so lenient. She knew that I drank and smoked pot but it never occured to her that I should get in trouble for it. Lol. As long as my grades stayed up and only did it on weekends it was cool.

wandajune6 · January 2015

I never got into trouble. I did all sorts of crap but I stayed on the honor roll and never got caught doing anything by cops or the school. I was also smart enough to be discreet and hide evidence. It probably helps that I wasn't into dating/hookups. I was much more interested in being stoned.

arrippa · January 2015

I am staying away from high school trouble because that's a whole anther topic. I was a stubborn kid. I decided not to do any homework for my 7th grade year. My parents tried everything (pulling me off my soccer team, not going on vacations, being grounded) but I wouldn't relent. It took threats to sending me away before I started doing homework again.

I was also a master door slammer. I would slam doors so hard that the house would shake. It got so bad that my parents took my bedroom door off the hinges. I did not have a door to my bedroom most of my 7th grade and 8th grade year.

hellosweetie1015 · January 2015

...I bought a book my parents didn't want me to read.... and then never actually read it.....

o.0

lovesclimbing · January 2015

I don't recall doing a lot of super bad things. I know I read books my mom didn't want me to read, but when she found out, she was just "Oh, please don't read those" and I kept reading them anyway.

I would get behind in high school and have to make up school work all summer. My parents never punished me for that. Having to do school all summer was punishment enough.

arrippa · January 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

...I bought a book my parents didn't want me to read.... and then never actually read it.....

o.0

My mom didn't want me to read Flowers in the Attic. Every time we went to Target, I would pick up the book and read a portion of it. Over the course of a year, I think I read that entire book.

sarawifenow · January 2015

arrippa said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

...I bought a book my parents didn't want me to read.... and then never actually read it.....

o.0

My mom didn't want me to read Flowers in the Attic. Every time we went to Target, I would pick up the book and read a portion of it. Over the course of a year, I think I read that entire book.

This is brilliant.

So do you guys know what a lint eater is? Well it's this thing:

When I was five, I thought it was so much fun to play with and was using it on a blanket in my bedroom (my mom had no idea I had it). Midway through the blanket I decided to use it on the lint on my tongue (read: tastebuds). Needless to say there was blood everywhere. I went running to my mom screaming and told her that my tongue hurt and I didn't know why. This was, of course, while holding the bloody lint eater.

I'm sure I got in trouble for more things, but this is the funniest thing I could think of.

ashley8918 · January 2015

Oh, god. I doubt any of you have time time or patience to read about ALL of my misdeeds and punishments as a teenager.

I did it all: drank, partied, had sex, skipped school, failed a lot of classes, did drugs, ran away, dated a wayyyyyy older guy (or two), moved out several times, got arrested a lot, got suspended, got a tattoo and a bunch of piercings when I was underage, got pregnant (twice), had an abortion, stole from my mom, I could go on.

I was a HORRIBLE teenager.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

The biggest trouble I got into as a kid was going into the woods by my house when I was supposed to be at my best friend's house. We had heard an then legend that there was a serial killer living in them and thought we'd go looking. (There was not.) I thought I was really sneaky except I was wearing my roller skates (WTF?!) so they were full of rotten leaves, pine needles and mud. I was grounded for, like, a day.

I got reamed out as a teenager for going to my (high school dropout, suspended drivers license, 18yo) boyfriend's house when an adult wasn't home, but nothing really came of it besides the "talk" about people's impression of you and the "I'm so disappointed" look.

Inkdancer · January 2015

I got in more trouble as a small child than as a teenager. I was smart, strong-willed, and frankly a contrary little shit.

I did get in a lot of trouble for almost failing one of my classes in 10th grade, but that all came to a head because of depression issues and I ended up in counseling. So, not a funny story here.

In school I often got in trouble for reading during non-reading times. But I was always finished with my work, and bored out of my mind.

sophhabobopha · January 2015

I got grounded at fifteen for deciding to not go to a concert I mentioned to my mom we might attend. Mom needed to know everything at every moment always.

So I have this marriage counseling book

Re: So I have this marriage counseling book

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