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Reception venue

coopsmom0308coopsmom0308 member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are renting a beach house for the weekend. It will serve as a place for the reception and for the bridal party to get ready. My question is, Who should stay there? It has 8 bedrooms along with some sleeper sofas. Should family stya here or should the bridal party, etc.? Help!?!?! 
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Re: Reception venue

  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    You can't dictate where people stay for your wedding. But it's totally up to you who you decide to offer the accommodations to, whether your families or your bridal party. I assume you're paying for the house for the weekend? If not, it will get pretty complicated and people will get stuck in tough situations--these things just never work out the way you want them to. 

    Also, think about people staying there even though it's where you'll be getting ready and having the reception. Do you want someone's stuff all over the place in a livingroom with a sleeper sofa during your reception? Do you want to be getting ready where there's lots of other people's stuff all in the bathroom? How many bathrooms are there? If other people are actually staying in the house, they have every right to leave there stuff around and use the bathrooms as they see fit...make sure this won't interfere with your plans. And what if the people staying there aren't the people getting ready with you...maybe they'll just be hanging out while you're doing a thousand things and in your way. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    What PP said.

    Also, what about any SOs that your bridal party members may have?  Where will the SOs sleep?  Will you not allow the bridal party members to bring their SOs?

    Personally, if this were me, I would want as few people as possible staying in the house the night before.  Too many people in the morning could lead to some craziness, especially since not everyone will be getting ready at the same time if they aren't in the wedding party.  Add that on with the fact that your reception will be being set up and I can just imagine chaos.

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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I almost did this same thing. Our reception is not at a beach house but I was going to rent one for FI and me, and possibly the bridal party or family to stay in. 

    Then I re-thought this. Do I want to spend my wedding night with a bunch of drunk groomsmen running around the house? Nope! Do I want to spend my wedding night with my parents or FI's sister in the next room? Nope. 

    MandyMostMaggie0829 have brought up. 
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    We didn't do a beach house, but we did rent out a villa for an after party. The villa had 4 rooms. DH and I used one and we offered the other 3 rooms to our bridal party. Two of the rooms were used by the bridal party and the last one we let a couple guys who got too drunk stay there. We payed for everything and nobody was required to stay if they didn't want. I think it's perfectly fine to offer the beach house to your bridal party or parent's first and see if they want to stay there. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Like PP said, you get to dictate who you extend the invite too. You may want to keep some of the rooms empty so that you don't have a full house of people to have to host the morning after. The other perk having some empty rooms is that you can use them for (lack of a better room) staging room. Have one room room where your dress is, a room where the bm can put there stuff & get ready, having a room where all the men can go & get dressed and/or hang out before the ceremony is not a bad option. Like another PP said, think of SO if you invite more people to stay. Also take into consideration how many bathrooms you have and depending on how many bathrooms you have the time it would take (and hot water) for everyone to get ready. Nothing would be worse then if you & your FI finally get a chance to jump in the shower & there is no hot water.

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Are you paying for the house, or expecting other people to chip in?  In the last wedding I was in, I was voluntold that I was staying in a cabin with the Bride and the BP.  When I told the Bride that I couldn't afford it and that I was upset that I was expected to stay (and pay) without any prior warning, she got upset and told me that I was ruining the bridal experience by not having all of the bridesmaids in one place at the same time.  I was really mad that she got a cabin and expected us to supplement the cost, because I had a free place to stay at a relative's cabin up the road.  Oh, and I paid full price for my "share" and didn't even get a bed.  I slept on the floor. (BTW, "sleeper sofas" are total shit.  Don't ask someone to try and good night's rest on one the night before a long and busy day.  Sofa beds on a drunken weekend beach trip with the besties is one thing, but hell no to sleeping on one when you actually want to be well rested the next day.  Definitely don't have someone pay to stay in the house and then show them to a sofa bed.)

    You could get a beach house and see if anyone wants to join, like PPs have said, but don't expect anyone to stay there, or demand that they subsidize a decision on which they were not consulted.  Keep the number of bathrooms in mind too.  Nothing is worse than ten people trying to get ready at the same time when there's only two bathrooms. 


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Only people who readily volunteer to stay there "should" stay there.

    Personally, these scenarios- "everyone" staying in a cabin/beach house together- are my version of hell on Earth.  I feel like this is the shit that poor college kids do so they can afford to go the beach for Spring Break.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Only people who readily volunteer to stay there "should" stay there.

    Personally, these scenarios- "everyone" staying in a cabin/beach house together- are my version of hell on Earth.  I feel like this is the shit that poor college kids do so they can afford to go the beach for Spring Break.

    Exactly! As an adult, after getting dressed up to go to a wedding and potentially travelling, the last thing I'd want to do is to sleep on a sofabed with 8 other people.. and 1-2 bathrooms. Shudder.

    ETA: Not that all 8 people would be on the sofabed with me. THAT would be even worse, haha.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    lovegood90 said:
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    Exactly! As an adult, after getting dressed up to go to a wedding and potentially travelling, the last thing I'd want to do is to sleep on a sofabed with 8 other people.. and 1-2 bathrooms. Shudder.

    ETA: Not that all 8 people would be on the sofabed with me. THAT would be even worse, haha.

    LOL @climbingwife's ex would have LOVED this.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'd like to add that I really have no issues staying in a house that sleeps 8 (I'm assuming 4 bedrooms, 2 people per room?), with 3 other couples. Adding extra people to sofa beds is a bit much unless it's a drunken weekend, as others have mentioned. And I'd prefer at least 2.5 bathrooms for 8 people. For my bachelorette party 7 of us stayed in a 3-bedroom house (2 per room, and one person on the couch) with 2.5 bathrooms and it was plenty. 

    However, as a bride, I would NOT want to be getting ready in the temporary residence of 7 other people. All 8 people will have to get ready in that house. If any of the people who stay there have significant others, they will be in and out and hanging out, and getting ready themselves, having nothing to do with you. What if they want to spend a while in the bathroom, or want to cook themselves some food while you're getting dressed? As a bride, "getting ready" takes more than just one bedroom. You'll need your dress hanging out of the way somewhere. You'll have hair and makeup stuff everywhere (even if you go elsewhere to get it done, others will need to do their's, or at least touchups). People will all need to eat. Your photographer will likely show up to take pictures. People will be asking you all kinds of questions. You'll have everyone trying to charge their phones. And you'll be stressing about everyone being ready on time.
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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    I told my BMs that we have 2 rooms the night before the wedding, and all those who want to stay with me can.  However, I would never require anyone to stay there, or expect anyone to - especially without their SOs

    <a href="Wedding Countdown Ticker'>http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Free Wedding Vows">

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