Invitation Addressing

Starfish0116 · March 2012

So I'm not sure how to address this invite.

I have a guest who is engaged, but they don't live together. It feels weird to address the invite with both their names but only mailing it to her, but then again it also feels rude to address it to "Jane Doe" and Guest when they are clearly engaged.

So would you do

Miss Jane Doe and Guest

or

Miss Jane Done

Mr. John Smith

Either way "jane doe" is my guest, so it will get mailed to her.

DirtyWater · March 2012

You would list both of their names.

lnhassel · March 2012

I would also list both of their names it really shouldnt matter if they live together or not.

kmschuler · March 2012

I would list both of them names.
"Mrs. Jane Doe and Mr John Smith"

celticmyss · March 2012

I was under the impression that you would send two separate invitations to each of their homes. I am not 100% sure if this is correct though. I have a similar situation so I'd love to have this clarified.

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

You could send them their own invites which I think is a waste of money but would work fine. I'm not an etiquette nut but I have read if people are unmarried you just put their name on separate lines (same line means you are married). DEFINITELY use his name though and not "and guest." "And guest" is meant for plus ones of people who aren't in a relationship. I will be addressing my envelopes for any one in a relationship that isn't married regardless if they live together or not like this:

Ms. Jane Doe
Mr. Fiance

Starfish0116 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_invitation-addressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:8baf7e61-0094-41a2-8f69-462ddca0f794Post:30a9efce-eae9-47e3-a3ea-ac8e184a9cdc">Re: Invitation Addressing</a>:
[QUOTE]You could send them their own invites which I think is a waste of money but would work fine. I'm not an etiquette nut but I have read if people are unmarried you just put their name on separate lines (same line means you are married). DEFINITELY use his name though and not "and guest." "And guest" is meant for plus ones of people who aren't in a relationship. I will be addressing my envelopes for any one in a relationship that isn't married regardless if they live together or not like this: Ms. Jane Doe Mr. Fiance
Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks! This is what I was thinking. She's actually the younger sister of two of my friends, and we're not super close (I actually don't know that I've ever offically met her FI) but since her sisters and parents are invitied I definitely don't want to leave her out. She honestly would probably care less how her invite was worded...because she's super laid back like that.</div><div>
</div><div>I just didn't want to have an etiquette faux pas. FI and I have been together for 12 years and lived together for 8. When both of her sisters were married a couple years ago my invite addressed to me "and guest". Their family is actually big on ettiquete so I was surprised by that but didn't let it offend me. I'm guessing they did that because we weren't married/engaged yet - although I've known them my whole lives so they know about my relationship status.</div>

Starfish0116 · March 2012

OK....so here is another invite question! Can you tell I'm working on my addresses/guest list?? haha

Guests are two adult sisters and their mother. They all live in one home together, plus one sister has a child who lives with them. They mail their holiday cards out as "The Smith Family" with all their names listed on the card. As such, I address MY holiday card to them as "The Smith Family", and have been doing so for years.

I know technically each adult should get their own invite, but that seems so wasteful (plus expensive!) to send 3 invites to the same house when they clearly address their own coorespondance as one family unit.

My delemia is that we are not having children at the wedding. I don't want to put "The Smith Family" and have them assume little Johnny is invited.

Would I just list each of the 3 names on serpate lines but on the same invite?

[Deleted User] · March 2012

I would definitely send an invitation to each of the adults who live there. It may seem wasteful to you but it will avoid confusion about the child and each adult may appreciate getting their own. I lived with my dad as an adult for a period of time and I appreciated getting my own invitations to weddings. That's just me though :-)

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_invitation-addressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:8baf7e61-0094-41a2-8f69-462ddca0f794Post:44aac26d-29a9-47f3-9497-6fa284aaeef6">Re: Invitation Addressing</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I would definitely send an invitation to each of the adults who live there. It may seem wasteful to you but it will avoid confusion about the child</strong> and each adult may appreciate getting their own. I lived with my dad as an adult for a period of time and I appreciated getting my own invitations to weddings. That's just me though :-)
Posted by LoriG41[/QUOTE]

This! I totally agree it is wasteful to send three invites under normal circumstances but you have to to exclude the child. "Family' implies kids are included. Are you doing inner envelopes? This would be the only way around it. You could address the outer envelope "Mss. Smith" or "Mses. Smith" (those are the plural of Ms...don't worry I googled that I didn't know that) and then on the inner envelope list their first and last names. Not sure if that is perfect etiquette but the best one-invite way I can think of.

BMcLeodTeam · March 2012

Question # 1 - I would send one invite with the guest and her fiance's name listed on it.

Question #2 - I would send each adult guest their own invitation. You'll avoid confusion that way!

Dayna217 · March 2012

I agree it is wastefull but it may be your only way not to confuse anyone. You could always send the mother her own invite and the two sisters and invite together and just have their names on it Ms. Suzie Que and Ms. Betty Que together that way it doesnt imply a child is invited. This is an option if you really don't want to send out three seperate invites. They do get expensive...also inner envelopes will help with confusion if you decided to do one invite just write everyones name out instead of together as family unit.

Invitation Addressing

Re: Invitation Addressing

Choose Another Board

Search Boards