I am almost afraid to post this (Please don't yell at me) and I was raised to be neat/clean and put things away, scrub the floor once a week, like most other people are. I started dating my guy this past April after meeting on a Faith-based site. He is kind, caring, fun to be with, we share a lot of things in common, he accepted me that I was a bit chubby and laid off. I was cautious and we dated for almost a month and half/2 months before he picked me up at my home for a date, then I went to his place and saw the clutter/mess. I already had feelings for him then after only dating a short time and little by little he showed me his home and the ONLY areas that are NOT cluttered is the kitchen and both bathrooms, rest of his home is totally cluttered, basement looks like it has not been touched in 15-20 years and smells like mold and I am scared there is Black mold under the mess. He was in the Army for 20 years, Vietnam and Kuwait and tells me "Everything is fine" with regards when I ask him if he is down/depressed and maybe go to the VA hospital or talk to me about anything, as we communicate very well. I did tell him when we first started dating "I could not live in your home as it is now" and told him I am uncomfortable in his home with the clutter, and it is not relaxing. I know Hoarding is usually from a Traumatic event, both his parents have passed (2000) and wife died in 2006 and my guy was still in the Army when everyone died, he just came home from Army about a year ago and his grown son whom is 24 doesn't really say anything about his dad's mess...son is another story, he has no job, "Mooches" off his dad who gives him money and stays out till 4-5 AM, and sleeps till 4-5 PM, doesn't grocery shop, clean or mow lawn or do anything else around the home I think his dad "Enables" him by giving him money but I don't want to get into something that isn't my business, but that ticks me off.
Am I being to picky about the house thing? He is a decent guy and I am lucky he is in my life but I was just raised to be clean, neat, etc.