Well, after about 9 years of engagement - not getting married due to my side of the family being overwhelmingly demanding and difficult, Future hubbie and I decided we are paying for our wedding, we are setting a date at the time and place WE (not my parents) want, and my parents are simply not invited. We are only going to have 3 members of his family attend - his mom, his grandma and uncle. We are having a destination wedding. We have no close friends. We work all the time and literally have no one close to us that we would want at the wedding. Our general friends would not be able to afford to make it. That is fine with us. We are happy with this being the smallest possible ceremony.
His mom keeps thinking we are having a large party. She is constantly asking me how many bridesmaids and groomsmen we are having (the answer has been NONE for 9 years!). Recently I told her we will be informing her of the date and where to show up. She flipped out at me that we weren't sending her an invitation. I told her there's 3 people invited, and there are no invitations - it's a waste of money and time to do it for 3 people. She acts surprised every time I tell her how many people are coming - like she's in massive denial.
Tonight she said to me that her supposed best friend will be coming to the wedding. This "best friend" is a complete stranger to us. She told me we will be sending her friend an invitation. I let her know her friend is not invited and reminded her there are no invitations, and she said it her friend told her that she couldn't even imagine not coming to our wedding. I told her this is a small intimate ceremony with just our 3 relatives and that's it and I don't want a complete stranger there. So she told me her friend will come whether or not they are invited.
I think if this was a bigger wedding I wouldn't care because they'd just get lost in the shuffle, but this is a really really SMALL wedding and I really only want people closest to us there. What's more, I'm just really hurt that she is creating drama where no drama needs to exist.
There is also a very small chance my parents might come anyway. They have friends who live in this remote location (whom I have met 3 times in my whole life and dont like at all) and they had asked before if these friends can come to my wedding and I've said NO and explained why and they said ok. I'm worried now that on the offchance my parents end up coming and they see that MIL has a random friend there, they will then invite their other friends and then half my wedding will be basically strangers I barely know and don't like (who aren't even relatives!). We've been engaged for so long due to constant issues and drama with our families, and I just want a nice drama free wedding with no extraneous people.
I don't even know how to explain this to her because she is not taking no for an answer and I just feel like this is so disrespectful to us.