Right way to handle an out of control guest

xx802xx · January 2015

My wedding and reception is not until the summer, but I've read some wedding nightmare stories about rowdy guests that bring up the question of how to approach these situations during the ceremony or reception. Hopefully I have nothing to worry about but I do have 1 or 2 guests on the invite list that have been known to "get rowdy" or out of control when partying. For my own knowledge and maybe other to be brides...If this scenario were to arise, what is the best way to handle asking a guest to leave or confront a guest about their behavior before things get out of hand?

plainjane0415 · January 2015

Well for starters, you shouldn't be the one confronting them. If you are truly concerned with this, you should hire security at your venue, and give them a heads up prior to the reception and let them handle it.

arrrghmatey · January 2015

I would check with your venue. Our venue has staff that are trained to handle guests that may get out of control, even though it is something we will not have to worry about (if it were, I know my no-nonsense father would take care of it, lol). Or look into hiring some security personnel if you feel it may be a problem at your reception.

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

xx802xx said:

My wedding and reception is not until the summer, but I've read some wedding nightmare stories about rowdy guests that bring up the question of how to approach these situations during the ceremony or reception. Hopefully I have nothing to worry about but I do have 1 or 2 guests on the invite list that have been known to "get rowdy" or out of control when partying. For my own knowledge and maybe other to be brides...If this scenario were to arise, what is the best way to handle asking a guest to leave or confront a guest about their behavior before things get out of hand?

If you're worried about this, ask the venue how they suggest you handle it. You may look into hiring private security for the event. Then, if you want someone thrown out, just tell the security person. Neither you, nor the groom, nor any of the guests should try to deal with it.

Also, bartenders are responsible for not over-serving people. Check with whoever is providing bartending services and give them the heads up on any potential problem causers.

climbingsingle · January 2015

I've been to dozens and dozens of weddings, 99% with open bar. Not once have I ever seen a bride have to get involved to control a rowdy guest. Why worry about something that's probably not going to happen?

But to answer your question, this is not something you get involved in. This is something the staff at the venue will handle. Hire qualified bartenders that will not over serve. If you're worried about particular guests, discuss it with the venue coordinator.

marie2785 · January 2015

arrrghmatey said:

I would check with your venue. Our venue has staff that are trained to handle guests that may get out of control, even though it is something we will not have to worry about (if it were, I know my no-nonsense father would take care of it, lol). Or look into hiring some security personnel if you feel it may be a problem at your reception.

I agree with this. When I went to meet with the venue staff, their event coordinator told us that they take care of rowdy guests, they will cut off excessive drinkers discreetly, and will make sure our underage guests do not try to sneak drinks (big issue for us since we have law enforcement officials attending the wedding). They also asked me who they should go to in case of issues (e.g. a guest really pushing they want a rum and coke when it's only a beer and wine reception, wondering if an ID is fake, etc). I designated my parents since they offered and are technically the ones hosting the reception.

xx802xx · January 2015

Thanks, I've been assured the bartenders know how cut people off and will not over serve. However the 2 blocked hotels are stumbling distance from the venue and someone could easily walk back to their room, grab a drink there and head back in 10 or 15 minutes. Even taking alcohol out of the equation, I know one of the groomsmen is a fighter and I've been informed one of my fiancés uncles girlfriend...is very much un-liked by the rest of the family due to her mouth and behavior. I'll ask my venue about security more.

plainjane0415 · January 2015

xx802xx said:

Thanks, I've been assured the bartenders know how cut people off and will not over serve. However the 2 blocked hotels are stumbling distance from the venue and someone could easily walk back to their room, grab a drink there and head back in 10 or 15 minutes. Even taking alcohol out of the equation, I know one of the groomsmen is a fighter and I've been informed one of my fiancés uncles girlfriend...is very much un-liked by the rest of the family due to her mouth and behavior. I'll ask my venue about security more.

All of this is stuff you cannot control, and shouldn't be worrying about controlling. If your venue has good bartenders, and you look into hiring security, or ask the venue about security, I think you are good.

climbingsingle · January 2015

xx802xx said:

Thanks, I've been assured the bartenders know how cut people off and will not over serve. However the 2 blocked hotels are stumbling distance from the venue and someone could easily walk back to their room, grab a drink there and head back in 10 or 15 minutes. Even taking alcohol out of the equation, I know one of the groomsmen is a fighter and I've been informed one of my fiancés uncles girlfriend...is very much un-liked by the rest of the family due to her mouth and behavior. I'll ask my venue about security more.

Yeah, these are things you're going to have to stop worrying about. You are not going to be able to control the behavior of all of your guests.

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

xx802xx said:

Thanks, I've been assured the bartenders know how cut people off and will not over serve. However the 2 blocked hotels are stumbling distance from the venue and someone could easily walk back to their room, grab a drink there and head back in 10 or 15 minutes. Even taking alcohol out of the equation, I know one of the groomsmen is a fighter and I've been informed one of my fiancés uncles girlfriend...is very much un-liked by the rest of the family due to her mouth and behavior. I'll ask my venue about security more.

Someone would actually DO that? Does that someone attend alcoholics anonymous? Because if they don't, they should.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

I think you are over thinking this.

I have been to 30some weddings and never saw a guest get belligerent or rowdy to the point of needing to be removed from the premises.

In any event, those situations are for venue security, venue personnel, or the police to handle.

xx802xx · January 2015

Sorry, can't seem to get the quote box to disappear
I've only been to one wedding as a child where the best man was thrown out. I can't remember how it was really handled except remember the discussion the next day about it. I might be over thinking it, but I like being prepared in situations like this where I am already prepared for the worst...hoping for the best. Like you all have said it's probably un-likly, but I'll discuss with my venue.
As do the drinking in the room, I guess I meant that it's common that I've seen a few people in the past sneak off (usually people from the brides and grooms party with their spouse) to go back to someone's room to take a shot and then come right back since the venue wouldn't allow shots...just an example of something common I've seen and partaken in that would be hard to manage IF someone were too intoxicated to begin with and should not have had another drink.

plainjane0415 · January 2015

xx802xx said:

Sorry, can't seem to get the quote box to disappear
I've only been to one wedding as a child where the best man was thrown out. I can't remember how it was really handled except remember the discussion the next day about it. I might be over thinking it, but I like being prepared in situations like this where I am already prepared for the worst...hoping for the best. Like you all have said it's probably un-likly, but I'll discuss with my venue.
As do the drinking in the room, I guess I meant that it's common that I've seen a few people in the past sneak off (usually people from the brides and grooms party with their spouse) to go back to someone's room to take a shot and then come right back since the venue wouldn't allow shots...just an example of something common I've seen and partaken in that would be hard to manage IF someone were too intoxicated to begin with and should not have had another drink.

Again, you're overthinking this.

JellyBean52513 · January 2015

xx802xx said:

Sorry, can't seem to get the quote box to disappear
I've only been to one wedding as a child where the best man was thrown out. I can't remember how it was really handled except remember the discussion the next day about it. I might be over thinking it, but I like being prepared in situations like this where I am already prepared for the worst...hoping for the best. Like you all have said it's probably un-likly, but I'll discuss with my venue.
As do the drinking in the room, I guess I meant that it's common that I've seen a few people in the past sneak off (usually people from the brides and grooms party with their spouse) to go back to someone's room to take a shot and then come right back since the venue wouldn't allow shots...just an example of something common I've seen and partaken in that would be hard to manage IF someone were too intoxicated to begin with and should not have had another drink.

Gosh, doesn't anybody just pregame anymore?! Kidding, kidding. I agree with PPs, you're over-thinking this and you're creating anxiety for yourself over a problem that doesn't even exist for you yet. So what if you have a few rowdy guests; we've all acted a little less than socially acceptable at one point or another. Venue staff are generally prepared to handle these kinds of issues. Let the professionals concern themselves with stuff like that, because there's not a whole lot you specifically can do to prevent it. People will do what they want to do. You should just focus on having an awesome wedding, and don't assume that you have invited trouble-makers who are sure to act out and cause a scene. Be kind to your guests and assume the best of them.

Right way to handle an out of control guest

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