We don't want a cake

Knottie23724596 · January 2015

So my Fiance and I do not want a cake. We don't usually pay attention to anything related to the cake at other weddings and unless they bring the cake to us most of the time we forget to eat said cake. We have also noticed our friends have ended up with tons of left over cake. We just don't think we should waste money on cake since we feel so negative towards them. However when I mention not having cake to my mother she goes in to a long winded conversation about why we should have a cake. We talked about cupcakes but I'm not even all that interested in that route either. I'm curious to know what other peoples opinions pro or con to not having a cake. Thanks!!!

cantwaitforthefuture · January 2015

We did not want cake either. We got pies in four different flavors. It was a big hit for a summer wedding! My mom also really wanted us to get a cake (must be a mom thing), so we got a very small two person cake just to cut.

cantwaitforthefuture · January 2015

Also, one other note, pies for apx. 150 guests cost less than $200, so it saved us a lot of money, too (though that was not why we did it).

redheadbride15 · January 2015

I've definitely been to weddings without cake. It's no big deal in my book as long as you provide some sort of dessert. My cousin had pies at her wedding. One friend had a dessert bar with cookies/brownies and another I remember had a chocolate fountain.

Heck, by the time cake cutting time comes I'm usually WAY too busy drinking and dancing and/or I'm too stuffed to think about cake! I actually can't remember the last time I ate the cake at a wedding.

peachy13 · January 2015

I agree with redheadbride that it's totally okay to not provide cake, but you should provide some kind of dessert after dinner is over.

jrich29 · January 2015

Why does everyone make a big deal about desserts at weddings? If you don't want to provide cake you don't have too. If you don't want to provide a dessert then don't. I never eat dessert at weddings unless it was like a candy bar or something. People might grumble at the time but they will get over it.

KatWAG · January 2015

I think you need to provide some kind of dessert. Although I dont think it matters what type of dessert it is. Could be cookie, cake, pie, ice cream, cupcakes, floats etc

Maggie0829 · January 2015

jrich29 said:

Why does everyone make a big deal about desserts at weddings? If you don't want to provide cake you don't have too. If you don't want to provide a dessert then don't. I never eat dessert at weddings unless it was like a candy bar or something. People might grumble at the time but they will get over it.

I think desserts are served because they are a completion of a full meal. And a lot of times when dessert is served it helps to signify to people that the event is coming to a close soon or that all "spotlight" stuff is over with so it is polite to leave (even though you can leave whenever you so chose and it isn't rude at all). Also there are a lot of people who enjoy something sweet after a savory meal.

Jen4948 · January 2015

jrich29 said:
Why does everyone make a big deal about desserts at weddings? If you don't want to provide cake you don't have too. If you don't want to provide a dessert then don't. I never eat dessert at weddings unless it was like a candy bar or something. People might grumble at the time but they will get over it.

You don't get to make the decision for anyone else that there shouldn't be dessert at a wedding just because you don't choose to eat it. For many other people, dessert is the final course of a meal. If the majority of guests at a wedding fall in that category, it makes sense to serve dessert in order to make them comfortable. The dessert itself doesn't have to be cake.

What must be avoided is cutting a dessert that is not served to the guests, regardless of whether or not it is cake and regardless of whether or not the couple eats it. Cutting a dessert sets up the expectation for guests that they will be served a dessert of that quality or better, and to cut something that won't be served to guests while expecting them to watch is taunting them.

AddieCake · January 2015

You'll go to hell for sure if you don't have cake.

wrigleyville · January 2015

My friends don't like cake, so they had an assortment of cheesecakes and pies at their wedding. I heard a lot of people saying things like, "What a good idea! It's so different. I love that I can pick," and so on.

We had cupcakes at our wedding. I was tempted to do pies as well (I LOVE PIE), but ended up getting a bunch of extra cupcakes and mini-cupcakes so people could take them as favors.

I like dessert bars and cookie bars. I think it gives people more options. I'm not a huge fan of dessert, but I'll happily have a scoop of ice cream or a cookie if offered.

blushingbride8888 · January 2015

Don't do a cake if you don't want to and don't feel guilty ether! I think some Moms just think of cake as the traditional wedding thing. I say do a dessert but make it unique to you and your Fi. I've seen doughnuts, cupcakes, cake pops, pies, cannoli towers, whatever! I think people will appreciate you doing something unique to you and your Fi - at least I would.

erinlin25 · January 2015

If you don't like cake/want cake don't have it. I have been to wedding receptions with cake; one had a variety of pies, some did cupcakes... I've seen an ice cream sundae bar, a candy bar, a variety of mini desserts (cookies, brownies, etc) or my personal non cake favorite was a chocolate fountain. It had a giant chocolate fountain with a variety of things to dip it in: pretzles, marshmellows, strawberries, bananas, pound cake, brownie bites, etc. It was awesome and I wanted one at my own wedding, but I like cake and we found an awesome bakery so went with tradition.

jleebles · January 2015

We have decided to serve various flavours of pie instead of cake. FI and I LOVE cake, but attach the word 'wedding' to anything these days and the price skyrockets. Key lime pie happens to be one of FI's favourite desserts, so that was an easy thing to decide on, as well as some classics like apple and strawberry rhubarb. My mother also lost her noodle a bit when I told her about our pie plan, but my father instantly googled wedding pies and showed her how fitting they can be and she came around. If something like pie doesn't do it for you, I think a simple dessert bar with cookies, brownies, and other small bakery treats would be just fine - crowd pleasers and great for a budget. At the end of the day, it's your wedding. Stick to your guns and do what feels right for you and your FI.

vulpiepop · January 2015

A wedding I went to served different flavored pies instead of cake and it was awesome. Everyone enjoyed it and we had fun eating pie and swapping flavors.

You don't need cake but you should be consistent. If you do a cake cutting then your guests will expect cake or something similar. If you cut pie, then your guests will expect pie.

slothiegal · January 2015

We had cake, but we also had a sundae bar, which was HUGE hit.

atlastmrsg · January 2015

Just find a dessert you like. I'm happy at a wedding as long as I get dessert. I'm happy with cupcake, cake, pie, individual mini dainties, anything sweet that isn't a mess (aka...not a sundae bar where I have to touch anything...)

What about cheesecake? Pie?

I didn't have a cake. I had cupcakes and french macarons.

tammym1001 · January 2015

I'm always sad at any party that doesn't have cake, but that's just me I guess. If you don't like cake then don't have cake, but I would definitely have some kind of dessert.

EllieAugust · January 2015

We did donuts and they were a huge hit!!! And it was super easy, a few days before my wedding I went to the local donut shop picked out 300 donuts and donut holes. They delivered them that afternoon to the venue and the venue set them out right after the bouquet toss…all for less than $100!!

[Deleted User] · January 2015

I understand where your mom is coming from, but I think most brides these days know that times have changed! Do what you want!

I attended a wedding that hosted an ice cream sundae bar. Due to the bride's severe celiac disease their dessert options were limited. Everyone loved the sundae bar! It was a huge hit.

Best of luck!

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

jrich29 said:

Why does everyone make a big deal about desserts at weddings? If you don't want to provide cake you don't have too. If you don't want to provide a dessert then don't. I never eat dessert at weddings unless it was like a candy bar or something. People might grumble at the time but they will get over it.

I mean, ok.. It's not like someone is going to hold a gun to your head and say 'YOU MUST PROVIDE DESSERT', but most guests see it as a signal that the meal is officially over and a polite time to leave if they aren't going to stay for dancing or whatever else.

Cake certainly isn't necessary. We had a chocolate truffle bar. People loved it.

We don't want a cake

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